Clareified

Dude. DUDE. WTF?

*Auntie Dawn swears she doesn’t have any favorites. Double pinky swear.

Just because

I showed Princess Leia this picture

and asked who it was, she responded:

“Umm…picture of me when I was a baby?”

Pretty much. And all of you who remember that picture from when it was first posted are old.

Me?

I’m exactly the same age. #voodoo

(I work in an office with a bunch of people. One of those people got the Droid X the same day I did. Then the following conversation took place.)

Me: His name is Malcolm.
Nancy: You named your Droid?
Me: Yes.
Nancy: Mike, what’d you name your Droid.
Mike: My droid is named Droid. It’s a phone, not a person.
Me: How rude. Just for that I’m naming your Droid Mike. And now whenever I say “Mike” you won’t know if I’m talking to you or your phone.
Mike: Great. At all times, I will assume you are talking to the phone.

Can you guess them?

I know a woman who has *ALL* of these. She clearly needs to donate her brain to science, lord knows she’s not using it.

Man fraternizing with the enemy gets attacked.

Ironically, some of the creatures native to that environment made Chase pay dearly for his 25-mile traverse across fabled Monterey Bay.

“I’m, like, ‘Come on guys, I’m trying to help here,’ ” he said of a massive swarm of jellyfish that rose to the surface and threatened to thwart his epic odyssey.

Let that be a lesson for all of you.

Do you guys see Angela trying to pretend like today is NOT her birthday by staying off the internets?

Nice try.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANGELA!!!

Wygant’s about to eat mommy’s phone:

In other news, WHAT THE HELL! WHERE ARE THE PATRIOTS BABY PICTURES??? WHEEEERRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEE???

#Pout

It’s totally cheesy, but this poem actually changed my life. I have no idea what age I was when I read it (I have a terrible memory) but believe it or not, I was a way too serious child. My mother used to make me play
hooky with her from school to try to loosen me up.

When I read this poem I understood why she deemed it as important to go strawberry picking, go for a late midweek brunch or see *ahem* a Star Trek Movie on opening day as it was to be in class for a pop quiz.

Warning – When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple

By Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
with a red hat that doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
and satin candles, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
and run my stick along the public railings
and make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
and pick the flowers in other people’s gardens
and learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
and eat three pounds of sausages at a go
or only bread and pickles for a week
and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
and pay our rent and not swear in the street
and set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Kaz is a punkrocklawyer, an excellent maker of pies, a brilliant electrician and will look quite fine wearing purple when she is old.