Clareified

Woman faces adultery charge after being caught with her pants down in a park.

And this chick is IN A WHEELCHAIR!

Woman up.

Uh…just saying.

This post is for informational purposes only.

Well, you can. But not for very long when dealing with the collective brain power of the people involved in trying to get it back.

I can’t tell you how much I appreciated all of your emails/facebook/twitter suggestions.

According to godaddy.com, last week the registered domain holder asked them to delete “clareified.com,” along with two other domain names; so, it wasn’t the company’s fault and I apologize for besmirching their reputation. Although, those commercials really need to tone down the sexual exploitation of women.

In the end, it took a little bit of…well, for legal reasons let’s just say…blah blah blah…but we were able to retrieve the blog and right all things wrong with the world. I now own the name, so barring an internal psychological struggle with that French speaking personality I am suppressing, something like this should never happen again.

Katie linked this on her twitterfeed yesterday:

I have a friend – one of my very best, actually – who I affectionately refer to as my “anti-me”. She is everything I am not.

She is Republican, Evangelical, Christianist, and Liberty University educated. She married at 22 followed in short order by 2 kids. She lived in the suburbs when we met and now lives in a rural area outside of a very small town. She is homophobic, anti-abortion, and a Tea Party sympathizer. She loves Sarah Palin. She thinks Barack Obama is an over-educated socialist who is trying to ruin America.

I am a Democrat, a skeptical Catholic, never been married and with no kids. I live in the city and can’t imagine living in a small town. I have gay friends and gay relatives and I am pro-gay marriage. I am pro-choice. I think Sarah Palin is an uneducated extremist who is trying to ruin America (to say the least). I voted for and continue to support Obama.

There is no reason that we should be friends. But we listen to each other. We talk, civilly, about the things we disagree about but it doesn’t dominate our friendship. We respect each others’ viewpoints, even when we think it is the craziest thing we’ve ever heard. I think I have become a better, more intellectually well-rounded person because I know her. I am less quick to judge and more open to hearing new ideas. I challenge my own beliefs more and I am better at examining view points I oppose.

We should all have an anti-me.

It’s a piece from Andrew Sullivan who, when I first started blogging, was the elusive conservative gay guy, but now is the liberal gay guy that leans conservative…or something.
He kinda just throws the letter out there without comment, and I was amused that Katie’s comment was “my anti me was my ex-husband,” cause that brings me to my point.

TV and movies always make “opposites” seem cute and fun. The reality of it though, is that over the long run, there is a reason like ends up with like. Your opposites are your opposites because you have rejected those things that make them so. How on earth can a sane, well adjusted adult give quarter to another adult who, say, “hates gays” or thinks President Obama is a “socialist”? You couldn’t, or you’d be crazy. Denying people any of our rights of citizenship should be reserved to people who have forfeited them through some violation of the social contract (e.g., murder, tax evasion, rooting for the Colts against the Saints in the last Superbowl). If another person believes differently and is all “women shouldn’t get to make their own decisions about their health” or “gay people shouldn’t be allowed to adopt,” that’s fine and good for them, but the fact that these are opinions I don’t believe to be compatible with, um, the ability to reason, will create the following dynamic in the relationship: Me and a person unable to reason.

Now, people have relationships with things and people who are unable to reason ALL the time pets/babies/the senile, but while it makes you feel noble and you can pat yourself on the back and write lovely letters to Andrew Sullivan about how you’re SO tolerant you tolerate INTOLERANCE, you never consider yourself equals with this person.

This person is a puppy who can talk and wear high heels.

This person is carnival attraction; it will hold your attention for an afternoon, but you will tire of it.
One day, you will want an intelligent conversation with an actual person, look around and realize: Jesus Q. Christ Sally wears a Sarah Palin tshirt and believes my gay cousin Teddy is an abomination. How can that be okay? Think about if this letter were written fifty years ago and boasted that her good friend “even burns crosses on Negro lawns.”

I don’t care how often you marched with Dr. King, if you’ve got a cross burner on your Christmas card list, that’s a problem.

Or, speaking from the other side, if you really believe abortion is murder, how are you chilling with your girl who has had two? I wig out just knowing my friends are sparking doobies at Phish concerts! (Dawn has no idea what any of those words mean. -Ed.) Imagine if I thought they MURDERED a person? Hell outta here!
A normal person will eventually retreat to people s/he actually respects intellectually and with whom s/he shares common ideologies.

Now, obviously I don’t mean opposites cannot coexist. Nor is this a liberals should stick with liberals argument. Lord knows I have issues with MANY MANY liberals. You saw the doobie sparking thing, right? Not to mention those who were all up in arms because they were certain America sent troops to Haiti after the earthquake cause we wanted to TAKE IT OVER! (Yah, that Obama is a genius “Obama ’12: Doubling the population of poor black Americans since 2009″) Obviously, coworkers, classmates, acquaintances – you can have meaningful relationships with all these people no matter what they believe. But when it comes down to it, if your best friend in all the world really truly believes that America is now a Communist nation, and are readying firearms well, um…(insert non offensive language which means, she is a retarded push monkey who needs medication.) And if you cannot dissuade her of this idea, how do you keep insane so close to you? Issues.

It’s not just about politics either. If someone is truly your anti-you. They are AGAINST YOU! Take that in!

The opposites attract relationships are funny and make good cinema because it’s not natural, it doesn’t exist -not in the long run, anyway.
It’s a ridiculous convention that takes a room full of writers, a vat full of makeup and wads of celluloid to come to fruition.
A woman and a dancing cartoon cat will never move in to the apartment next door.

Yeah, I might have buried the lede.

I’m standing in line waiting for the best pizza in America (possibly the world, but I’d never order pizza anywhere outside of America, so I can’t really say) and I overhear this exchange from the couple behind me. I don’t need to tell you they were white and in their early twenties, but I will.

Her: I can*not* believe this line.
Him: Oh, I’ve seen it all the way around the block.
Her: Really? Gawd.
Him: Is the pizza that good?
Her: I don’t know. I think New Yorkers just like to stand on lines.
Him: Yeah, they’re like the English. The English love queueing for things.
Her: Yeah.
Him: I’m reading this historical novel about Eskimos…my new year’s resolution was to read more.
Her: Ooh! That’s a good one!
Him: I’m doing it too. I’ve knocked out 9 so far.
Her: That’s wonderful.
Him: Yeah, my goal is to be able to say I’m a vociferous reader.
Her: Great. Wait. Is it vociferous?
Him: Yeah, reads a lot.
Her: I think that’s voracious, right?
Him: Um…yeah…they’re like the same thing, right?
Her: I dunno. Let’s look it up on my smartphone.
Him: No, no, let’s try to figure it out. All of our English words are latin. I studied Latin in college for a semester.
Her: (already reading from the phone): it means loudly or animated.
Him: What?
Her: Vociferous.
Him: Okay.
Her: Yeah.

I love this article.

“It’s a myth that friendships last forever,” says Irene S. Levine, a psychologist, professor of psychiatry at New York University’s medical school and author of “Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend.” We are tied to our family by blood and our spouses by law, so we are often more attentive to those relationships. “Friendships are relationships of choice, so we tend to overlook them,” she says.

As a result, many friendships die from neglect, Dr. Levine says. And this in itself poses a very sticky problem in friendship breakups: How do you know if you’re being neglected—or dumped? What if your friend is always too busy to get together but always seems to have a good excuse? What if she never calls you, but seems happy enough to hear from you when you call?

And there’s the rub. There are no rules or even societal norms for friendship breakups. Friends who want to split don’t go to counseling or get a mediator or a lawyer, as divorcing couples do. And there typically aren’t a bunch of nosy relatives willing to intervene and relay messages, as there are when a split is within a family.

Also, dissolving a friendship is harder than ever these days, with so many digital ties holding us together, from social-networking Web sites like Facebook to stored numbers in cellphones.

Dave Nadkarni can tell you all about it. When he decided to end a relationship a few years ago with a close female friend he felt was spreading rumors about him, he stopped returning her calls, defriended her on Facebook, blocked her on his instant-message list, stopped following her on Twitter and changed her name in his cellphone to “Do Not Pick Up.” “It was cathartic,” he says.

via Dorian Davis

…yet says it’s the best pizza in “The City.” I assumed the article was about someplace in New Jersey maybe, since I didn’t see the name DiFara’s anywhere in the article. But lo and behold, the dateline says “Brooklyn,” and so to that I say…umm…quick, somebody give me a synonym for “fuck outta here,” before Tae has my black card confiscated by Spike Lee.

Can I say “that’s jive turkey, man”? Do people still say jive? Dude. I need some black friends and pronto.

Glenn Beck wants America to be more Chinese.

NO. SERIOUSLY! He looks like McGwire!