Clareified

Those days are gone forever; I should just let 'em go but…

Archive for the 'wacky people' Category

Into the Wild 2

Tuesday, August 27th, 2013 by Dawn Summers

Second verse same as the first.

Thelma & Louise 2

Thursday, July 25th, 2013 by Dawn Summers

Second verse, same as the first

Aaron Hernandez held without bail on murder charges

Wednesday, June 26th, 2013 by Dawn Summers

MURDER! JAYSUS.

Why would a multi millionaire star athlete go around murdering? Or accessory murdering or proximity murdering?

Also, the Patriots fired him.

OHHHH BIIITTCCCHH! YOU *TRIED* IT

Monday, June 10th, 2013 by Dawn Summers

I was at my mom’s house the other day, getting my hair done for…, well, instead of money, pyschological and physical trauma. As I drove toward her place, I saw an entire avenue block cordoned off with police tape. JAYSUS. I thought. AGAIN??? Ever since the old man who owned the fat people dress shop was murdered, I feel like there’s a shooting near her place every month or so. Of course, when I got upstairs, turned on the news, I saw that, indeed, four people had been shot a block away. “Shooting in Prospect Lefferts Gardens” the segment alerted.

Huh. Well, I guess that new name stuck. Well played, real estate agents, well played.

The next day, and article about the shooting appeared in the paper:

Several people pointed out that in New York City, the difference between a treacherous and a tranquil neighborhood can be a matter of a block or two, and that Sunday’s shooting of three people occurred on Lenox Road, one block south of the neighborhood’s traditional southern boundary. Referring to one of the signature blocks, Bill Sheppard, a senior vice president for the real estate firm Brown Harris Stevens who lives in the neighborhood, said, “If this were happening on Maple Street, that would raise a few eyebrows, but it’s just outside.”

Are you *kidding* me, asshat???

See, and this is why they should never give me any money or power ever… cause the basement of THAT dude’s house would be taken by eminent domain and turned into a homeless shelter for recovering male meth addicts.

*Just* his basement.

*files nails*

Lawmaker reverses “grades-based” welfare push

Sunday, April 14th, 2013 by Dawn Summers

Doofus.

Lawmaker seeks to tie welfare benefits to grades

Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013 by Dawn Summers

This story came out yesterday, so naturally, I was skeptical. But, after reading hours of tweets about lazy baby making neer do wells on the twitters, I have concluded the story is real.

And now I just have questions. Questions like, why didn’t Stacey Campfield’s parents hug him more when he was a baby? How damaging is it exactly to give a boy a girl’s name? All these years, I just thought that Johnny Cash song was funny.

This is an abomination

Friday, January 25th, 2013 by Dawn Summers

Like Carrie Underwood’s “Independence Day”.

Quick question…

Tuesday, January 15th, 2013 by Dawn Summers

Is it appropriate to put “want two men to end up in jail for fighting over me” on a bucket list?

Posted without comment

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012 by Dawn Summers

Couple dies trying to save dog from drowning.

Okay, I lied, one comment:

Other boaters, alerted by screams, helped pull the couple from the water. Efforts by rescue personnel failed to revive them, and both were pronounced dead at hospitals.

The dog survived and was taken to the municipal animal shelter.

Mmmhmmm

So…

Thursday, September 15th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

I would send this to my mother as a joke, but I’m pretty sure she would slap me right upside the head on principle.