Clareified

Just wait till we get a brotha up in the White House, yo.

So, this one has a visual component. Yesterday, I’m over at Karol’s house playing cards and pretending to be her on IM. I am wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants. When her boyfriend comes home he looks at me wearing this outfit:

and he says “Huh. You’re unemployed, so you’ve just decided to stop trying altogether?”

Earlier in the day Karol herself tried to take my sweatshirt off, despite my numerous ‘I don’t think of you that way’ protestations.
“It’s hot take off the sweatshirt.”
“Um…no matter how hot it is I am not walking around in my underwear.”
“You don’t have a shirt on under that? What is wrong with you?”
“Nobody wears shirts under a sweatshirt — it’s the shirt. What’s wrong with you?”
And thusly we come to the question of the weekend — who wears shirts under a shirt?

Is it me or has postsecret become seriously lame in the last month or so?

It used to be that this was the case

But these days the secrets are just dumb…hmmm…or perhaps my own secrets have just become more interesting.

And no, Karol, you’re still not getting the pole pictures.

My Scrabble habit has become an ersatz Starbucks habit since the chain coffee shops are the only places where word freaks can unpack boards, tiles, racks and clock timers in NYC for the low low cost of a cup of coffee or a scone. Yes, I have been thrown out of diners, bookstores, artspace, libraries…I’m a 32-year-old skater kid getting hassled by the man. Plus, a couple of key Starbucks’ are open 24 hours and I play with crackeads. As per usual, I found items on the menu that I like and I get the same thing everytime — small latte and a coffee cake. And then, this whole calorie counting madness started. Now, I am actively on a “diet” — so I had to switch to a skim latte (happily, it tastes the same to me for some reason) — but well, I wasn’t going to do diet coffee cake or (heaven forfend) no coffee cake at all, so I was happy when I read this in a column:

Um, no. The Starbucks calorie count for the cinnamon coffee cake was 290. For the blueberry coffee cake — 320.

Bah, 300 calories? That’s like twenty minutes on the treadmill…piece of cake. Coffee cake.

via Karol

Someone I have have been ruthlessly mean to for six months did something so nice for me today that I am downgrading my behavior to regular mean.

Countdown to April 24th!

Me: I told Mary and Alceste that I was going to win. And I told Alceste that he could come in second, and then Mary was all hey, what about me? So I said she could come in second and Alceste could be third. And we all agreed, but they didn’t do it.
KJ: But you kept your word!
Those white people are always lying.
Me: I know! They’re all, hey come on, we’ll take you on a quick boatride. It’ll be fun!
KJ: Yeah, you’ll like it, lots of outdoor activities.
Me: Hahahahha…slavery is funny.

Me: Hey, Ugarles. I have a joke that you can use! Okay, so in college I knew this girl Sue Nam. And I always said that if she married a guy whose last name was Yee, she would be…(laughing hysterically now…) SueNamYee! Get it Tsunami!

Ugarles: And then when no one laughs, I’ll say ‘what too soon’?

Me: HAHHAHAAH…Hey that’s good. Put that in there!

F-train: I thought you were supposed to be giving him jokes.

Me: Shut it

No response from Washington so far, but I’m guessing if he double dog dares us that’d be a different story.

President Hugo Chavez dared the U.S. on Friday to put Venezuela on a list of countries accused of supporting terrorism, calling it one more attempt by Washington to undermine him for political reasons.

I found this amazing site to post videos online at dropshots.com It’s so easy and the videos can be however long. I’m putting all my videos there!