Clareified

Tru Blood was the best new show I’ve seen in a long time, which basically means that I will somehow lose twenty dollars when it’s canceled midseason. Pout.

Los Angeles (E! Online) - NBC is bringing out the big guns for its 15th and final season of ER. The big, nostalgia-laden, tear-inducing guns.

E! News has confirmed that original ER castmember Anthony Edwards, who played Dr. Mark Greene on the medical hit for eight years before heading to that big emergency room in the sky back in 2002, has signed on to reprise his role for a one-episode guest stint during—when else?—November sweeps.

I have to go to school tonight and I can only tape two programs, but the Republican National Convention is on opposite the series premiere of 90210 AND the World Series of Poker Day 1 of the Main Event. Why is life so hard?

Good news: Thanks to a well-timed status update on one of my facebook friends’ page, I didn’t miss tonight’s Gossip Girl premiere.

Bad news: It sucked. Come on people, we are a captive audience. You have us for 22 weeks, no need to rush through everything all in the first episode.

Somehow I got trapped into watching CBS political coverage today…Katie Couric suuuuuuccckkkkks.

Looks like you’ve locked up the Battlestar vote! (Of course, as everyone knows…the title should be “The ticket for New Caprica”…hmm well, or “The ticket for Earth.”

Yes, yes, we get it already: the Republican Prez/Veep ticket looks just like Colonel Tigh and President Roslin from Battlestar Galactica. In what is either a sign that BSG has achieved cultural critical mass or that at least one of the two Republican nominees to office is actually an alcoholic robot, the similarities between the two pairs seemed to be one of the most common commentaries about McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin for Vice President yesterday. We trace the limited lifespan of this meme.

via Mary

Al Gore boring. Blah blah blah carbon schmarbon. Stevie Wonder? Sheryl Crow? The biggest celebrity in the world couldn’t get Kanye or Hannah Montana?

So, I know how you guys have come to rely on these reports to really get a sense of what you should be thinking and feeling about the Olympics and it has been my sincere pleasure to provide this service. But all good things must end, but before I retire my couch potato commentary:

*USA track was supremely disappointing, on whole…but Clay, who won the decathalon, that chick that ran the anchor leg of the women’s 4X400 relay [Sanya Richards] and the men’s 4X400 team really deserve our awe and admiration. Give them back their passports and let them come home. That was some dang fine track and fielding, at a time when their teammates just plum gave in to the sucking.

*Why did I think women’s volleyball won the gold medal? I swear one of the announcers said women’s basketball, soccer and volleyball won gold medals and then credited it to them sharing the gym…was Brazil later eliminated from the competition for the overuse of bronzer?

*I cannot watch synchronized anything. Especially in water. Or that involves ribbons. The Olympics need to bring back softball/baseball, that this even needs to be said shows just how out of touch the IOC is with things Americans care about.

*Instead of badmitton we should have a NLHE tournament.

*Mary thinks my best shot for gold in London would be as a Cox in rowing. I do have a big mouth and an incomparable ability to motivate others to work harder than I am working.

*I like that we have athletes who were born all over the world playing for the U.S. Olympics team. I do not like that other Olympic teams have people who were born in the U.S. playing for them.

*Listening to the anthem, while our athletes stand on the top platform gave me chills every time. It was great seeing the U.S. Men’s Basketball team back up there…I love that multi-millionaires were hustling their asses off for a piece of gold! (Though, as bad a sport as I am, Kobe not reaching down to pick up his Laker teammate, Gasol, after Kobe knocked him down, was coldblooded.)

*How is this: Krzyzewski pronounced like this: Sha-chef-skee?

*The Olympic games should never again be held in a place with as many human rights violations and political tyranny as China has…it was like having the games in Germany in 1936, disgusting. Ultimately, history will judge us most unkindly since most of the hubbub surrounded a lip synching little girl in the opening ceremony or the real age of their gymnasts and not the systematic imprisonment or murder of independent reporters and political dissidents.

*Thanks to Phelps, Lezak, Nastia Luiskin, May-Walsh, USA basketball, US women’s soccer, the Williams sisters and our 4X400 track teams for giving us two great weeks of being not only the U.S., but an us to the world before we turn to the next ten weeks of 30 percent of us becoming rabid Democrats and Republicans, while 70 percent of us don’t give a crap.

Okay, I’m bored and Katie Hoff sucks, we give her liberty and freedom and as much fast food as she can want and she loses to China and Slovenia? I hope we confiscate passports after the closing ceremony. She wants to lose to China, she can stay in China.

All the Phelps hype is starting to worry me… I so want him to do the eight medals thing…even though I hate that it will cost Carl Lewis his record.

Oh GOSH

CANT WATCH

YEAHHHHHHHH!!!!! USA USA USA USA USA

Obama should pick Michael Phelps as VP. That Morgan Freeman narrated commercial congratulating him on winning more gold medals than anybody ever gave me chills.

MY first Obama ad! Eh, kinda bland…I actually think the McCain ad that heralds him as the biggest celebrity in the world was a better ad for Obama than Obama’s wind power ad…

Okay, that first Chinese vaulter is nine years old AT MOST!
Dude, Chinese women’s gymnastics sucks donkey brains, so far…not a one has stuck the landing.

And of course, as soon as I wrote that…the seven year old that anchors the team totally nails her vault. Sorry, team USA.

Speaking of which…so…um…team USA…not the cutest girls we ever did send…

HOLD UP…NBC cancelled Journeyman, but renewed LIFE? SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!?! Who the hell is in charge over there and how much a year is his obvious coke habit?

The American gymnastics uniform is fugly. Who picked that horrid red satin thing? I cannot look at them, it’s embarrassing…couldn’t they have done a project runway contest…
USA leads China at this point after the vault…despite the nightmare that is our leotards. Gymnastics is boring.
I miss Michael Phelps.
I’m bored doing the thing I started to do to alleviate my boredom…
How crappy is the Mets bullpen? Okay, your fearless blogger may have a touch of the undiagnosed ADD.
US uneven bars opener looked good to me…but announcer says she missed some element…who knows the glare off that damn leotard is making my gall bladder hurt.
Jeez.. these girls are unattractive…I mean, I’m rooting for them because we are countrymen…but do I want to see their faces on cereal boxes and McDonald’s commercials for the next six months…no. No, I do not.
USA gymnast just got a 16.9 –which I guess is one tenth off perfect now, announcer still thinks that she was robbed.
HAHAHAHHAAH Bela Carolyi is an announcer?!?!!? HAHAHAHHA…he so doesn’t quite speak English…he’s adorable though, how excited he is.
I, however, am bored. Bring on the swimming!

Okay, the Chinese are up…we’re hoping that they fall.
Ooh swimming! YAY! Hmmm…I’m kinda partial to Australian Stephanie Rice…but there are two Americans, so we’re rooting for them. Katie Hoff tries to redeem herself…
Stephanie takes it down!
Back to gymnastics, looks like China is kicking our ass. Stupid elementary school kids.
Michael Phelps! Man, he must be tired. The announcers are so jinxing him!! They just said “unless something crazy happens, he’ll win his fifth now”
America leads Russia in the relay…scared! They keep saying we’re gonna win huge…I can see the leg cramp already…
“If you like seeing Michael Phelps win gold medals, don’t go anywhere…” I hate these announcers!
We do look like we’re going to smash this record…it’s sick the lead we have right now…
We’re a pool length ahead now…
I feel bad for the world record line…
“Camera has to pan back just to get everybody in the picture” it really does…
Michael Phelps is FIVE FOR FIVE!!! All gold, all world records!! DYAM. Oh, and to keep the blogging gender fair…he is ugly as sin…though his sisters are pretty.
Ooh, Chinese balance beam chick fell off! Woo! I feel a little dirty hoping for these like seven year olds to fall…but I’ll do it because that’s the kind of American I am.
Now, we’ve just got to not fall off to get gold…
Oh well, our first balance beam girl, Alicia Sacramone fell off just getting on. We’re done. I blame the leotards. Dude, Sacramone just fell doing floor exercises. She fell. WHILE ALREADY ON THE FLOOR. Put her passport with Katie Hoff’s. We have gone from battling China for gold, to battling Russia for bronze, blyat.

I like that NBC gives me the clockdown to when Michael Phelps will be swimming because they know that’s all I really care about. Kudos NBC marketing! Kudos!

It would Barack if Obama went to the closing ceremonies.