Clareified

In something or other that I know nothing about, but Imma go send my mom another text.

Last summer they traded away half the team to Columbus, this summer they fire the coach, so dunzo. It’s totally racist anyway. ooh, maybe I’ll come back if they hire a black coach. Heck, maybe I will become a fan of whatever NHL team has a black coach. Not really.

*Headdesk*

Okay, so I chose “Last Goodbye” as song of the day because I really truly had ZERO belief that the Rangers would win last night. NONE. ZILCH. ZIP. NONAROONIE.

BUT THEN THEY DID! IT WAS CRAZY!!

FIVE TO NOTHING. *ON THE ROAD* I swear, I almost cried watching them do the handshake line with smiles all over their faces. Except Torts. He doesn’t smile.

LUNDQVIST GOT BACK TO BACK SHUT OUTS!! If I ever meet Henrik Lundqvist I’m hugging him until they call security.

(Though, if I ever meet Tom Brady, I’m hugging HIM until the local police come and carry me away.)

It’s funny that after ALL that, we don’t even get a banner or sumshit to hang! THAT SERIES WAS HAARRRDD!! We were down 2-0! The whole game last night I kept telling VinNay that I was filling with hope.

“Horrible horrible hope.”

And now we face Boston, another team that we beat in the regular season series, though they did get four points of the available nine. I’m biting my nails. A bitter rift has now divided Patriots Nation on twitter, and I now stand alone against my former sports family. But, I’m hopeful.

Stupidly, horribly, awfully hopeful.

GAME 7???? AWAY?? And the Rangers have NEVER won in that situation? Oh. Well, that’s not so stressful at all. GG Washington.

Hitting the little known “deliquent’s hattrick”!

I won my second fantasy football championship of the season! The second win was very exciting because it was a winner take all pool — even though I tried to get that payout structure changed before the playoffs started, but now I’m glad I was ignored.

The first win was very exciting because mid way through the season, when I was like in sixth place, I totally pointed at the top and said “I will win this whole thing.” And everyone laughed at me. Ha! I showed them! I showed them all.

I should give lectures on how to win.

Step one: Don’t get the first pick, amirite @Vinnay? First pick is death.

Ah, good times. Good times.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Back again:

Alceste drove us home while I sweated out the hockey game in the backseat. And even though the Leaves tried their hardest to ruin my whole life, Captain Cally bailed the Rangers the hell out and no one had to jump out of a moving car on the Garden State Parkway.

Whew.

It was an exciting weekend of hockey and poker. I saw the Rangers lose again at MSG, sadface. But then had a “the whole car won” trip to AC, happyface. Speaking of which, my coworkers’s husband gave her a note to give me this morning.

It read: Hi Kim’s friend, You are banned from attending anymore Rangers’ games.

Valid.