Clareified

Tom: What is that?
Me: My TomTom GPS
Jamie: Or as it’s actually called ‘The Poor Man’s Garmin.’

ANN ALTHOUSE: How can the state of Texas possibly take proper care of the 437 children it has removed from the polygamist sect?

I don’t know. But if it doesn’t, it won’t be charged with child abuse.

Instapundit funny.

“My car is a two-seater, but it has a very roomy trunk.” -Amanda on the suggestion that the girl with the Porsche should drive Pi and I around all weekend.

KJ: Yeah…it’s like med school will take foreeevvverrrr. Eight years?! I’ll be like…Oh my GOD THIRTY-TWO!!!

Me: Fuck you.

Matt: Do you see these tiny fingers that God gave me?
Wendy: Honey, you should never point out how small your fingers are…it’s marketing.
Jordan: Yeah, that’s why my fingers are circumcised.

Me: Come on now, what could possibly make you feel manly?
G-Train: Putting my dick in somebody…I mean…a girl. A girl.
Me: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

We’ve been wondering what Eliot Spitzer’s been doing with his time, other than atoning for his sins and mewling over what could have been and atoning some more. Playing Scrabulous? Learning how to knit? Finally reading Infinite Jest? But yesterday the Post snapped him and Silda in front of the NYU Medical Center, and it doesn’t really look like he’s doing much more than errands. He’s just like us! Except for the whole sleeping-with-dirty-gross-hookers part. All things considered, the first couple looks pretty good, and the Post is really quite taken with Silda’s outfit: “fashionable jeans, boots, a blazer and a fetching, large scarf.” Fetching? Eliot looks kind of awkward though, seeing as he’s dressed like he still has a job.

I wouldn’t even play Scrabulous with that moron…although it’d be nice to beat his ass. But, he’d probably like that, so nevermind.

via Karol

Nyquil is pretty good with the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, but less good with the so you can rest medicine. POUT.

Entirely related not so random question: WHY AM I UP? Oh yeah. Stupid Nyquil.

Me: We could play Scrabble…
Pearatty: Yeah…I’m not in the mood for an MRI
Me: We wouldn’t be playing with Fisch.
Pearatty: Umm…dude, you are Fisch.

Me: NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN SUUUCKED! What on earth could you have possibly liked about it?
Pearatty: Well, it’s an exposition on evil.
Me: No it’s not. That guy stole two million dollars, it’s not evil to kill as many people as necessary to get that kind of money back.
Pearatty: (Stares at me horrified.)
Me: Um…okay, maybe not as many people as necessary…but certainly five or six…
Pearatty: Continues to stare
Me: Three to five?

It’s not a mistake until you make it.