I totally jinxed the Senate race in Massachusetts! And while I was doing it, I knew I was doing it, but I was all “naaah, it’s *Massachusetts* what could POSSIBLY go wrong?
In happier news, can we strip Senator Douchebag of all his leadership positions, punch him in the groin and send him on his way now? Please?
For those who are surprised that Sen. Harry Reid still refers to my people as ‘Negro’ come on, you know that’s how crackers talk.
Giuliani won’t run for Governor or Senator.
If this was goodbye, an air of the desultory clung to it, as a man once seen as destined for high office stood in the basement of a Midtown hotel and endorsed another politician for another office — governor — once in his sight.
From president to governor to senator, the list of powerful offices that the man, former Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, once dreamed of capturing is long, and his longing now seems likely to go unrequited. In the past month he has foresworn interest in running for governor and for United States senator. After he endorsed Rick Lazio for governor, even the honorific shouted by reporters at the press conference on Tuesday — Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor! — had an antiquated sound to it.
There way must be some nasty skeletons in that closet because I don’t see how Cuomo or *insert laugh* Paterson beats him for Governor.
You know how I know Rush Limbaugh fails at life? Because this is the shit he says…out loud…where I can hear him.
LIMBAUGH: I got two more stories in the stack today about how black unemployment is through the roof. Black unemployment is terrible. The black frame of mind is terrible, they’re depressed, they’re down — Obama’s not doing anything for ‘em. How is that hoax and change workin’ for ya? They’re all livid. I mean, they thought there were gonna be an exact 180-degree economic reversal and it’s done nothing but get bad for everybody, but they’re especially upset about it because they look at him as one of them, and now they feel abandoned. And I’m sure Tiger Woods’ choice of females not helping ‘em out with their attitudes there either.
I would delve into the subject further, but I am so crushed about Tiger’s choice of women, I must go take pills.
New Jersey Governor is now calling his opponent fat. First, his opponent only hires his lawyers for friends, then his opponents hates women AND babies AND wants them all to die of cancer, but NOW the reason you shouldn’t vote for Christie is that he’s a fatty fat fat!
Stick a fork in Corzine, he’s done.
Certified copies of President Obama’s birth certificate, testimony from the Governor of Hawaii and even newspaper clippings from the time, are not enough to convince the fringe right that the President is American, now they want to see his penis.
Birthers get to see the President’s penis? Uh…um…bring the kenyan Muslim devil to me! Also, I believe the Indonesian communists implanted wiretaps in his chest, and thus, I will have to hand inspect those pecs! What? It’s cool, I’m already engaged to Zac Efron, the whole thing is totally above board. Just my patriotic duty and all.
The worst part of Arlen Specter (D?) switching parties is that Senator Douchebag gets to feel important again.
Senator Joseph I. Lieberman of Connecticut on Sunday urged the Obama administration to consider postponing overhauling the health care system and instead work on smaller chunks of the issue until the economy improves.
I have an opinion on health insurance reform in America now!
Okay, okay I am not going to lie to you, I had an opinion on health insurance reform before. It was just the wrong one. I recognized it right away as the wrong one because, well, I looked around and there were some crasszy (crazy-ass! Ha! That was a typo, but I’ve decided to roll with it.) dudes standing next to me (some of them with guns, all of them with bright red faces and a vein throbbing in their neck) and on the other side, waaayyy over there, were Rachel Maddow and Keith Olbermann and OMG THE PRESIDENT! I LOVE YOU MR. PRESIDENT!!
Must. Get. To. The. Other. Side.
The last time I really even thought about the idea was during the Hillary Clinton universal healthcare debacle. (How much credit does she get for not calling a press conference for the express purpose of saying “Told you healthcare reform was hard! Suckers. Peace out.” And then ripping off her mic and throwing it to the floor? Actually, I’d kinda pay to see that.) Anyway, I spent months and months listening and reading.
Well, trying to listen and read.
I am easily distrac…ooh, a penny! It’s SHINY!
Sorry.
Healthcare.
I should explain where I started.
(more…)
Gov. David A. Paterson is expected to seek a full term in 2010 causing state Democrats, seeking reelection, to worry about being dragged down by his unpopularity.
* You know, because he’s blind.