Clareified

He knew he tanked in the Philadelphia debate, but he was so irritated by the moderators — and by having to stand next to Hillary again — that he couldn’t summon a single merry dart.

Is he skittish around her because he knows that she detests him and he’s used to charming everyone? Or does he feel guilty that he cut in line ahead of her? As the husband of Michelle, does he know better than to defy the will of a strong woman? Or is he simply scared of Hillary because she’s scary?

He is frantic to get away from her because he can’t keep carbo-loading to relate to the common people.

In the final days in Pennsylvania, he dutifully logged time at diners and force-fed himself waffles, pancakes, sausage and a Philly cheese steak. He split the pancakes with Michelle, left some of the waffle and sausage behind, and gave away the French fries that came with the cheese steak.

But this is clearly a man who can’t wait to get back to his organic scrambled egg whites. That was made plain with his cri de coeur at the Glider Diner in Scranton when a reporter asked him about Jimmy Carter and Hamas.

“Why” he pleaded, sounding a bit, dare we say, bitter, “can’t I just eat my waffle?”

His subtext was obvious: Why can’t I just be president? Why do I have to keep eating these gooey waffles and answering these gotcha questions and debating this gonzo woman?

Before they devour themselves once more, perhaps the Democrats will take a cue from Dr. Seuss’s “Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now!” (The writer once mischievously redid it for his friend Art Buchwald as “Richard M. Nixon Will You Please Go Now!”) They could sing:

“The time has come. The time has come. The time is now. Just go. … I don’t care how. You can go by foot. You can go by cow. Hillary R. Clinton, will you please go now! You can go on skates. You can go on skis. … You can go in an old blue shoe.

Just go, go, GO!”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH

via Karol

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Holy Chelsea’s mother!

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008 by Dawn Summers

Clinton takes double digit victory over Obama in PA. Oh, I didn’t mention that in Philly, KJ and I would randomly start chanting O-BA-MA O-BA-MA O-BA-MA O-BA-MA, just to amuse ourselves.

Unfortunately, I think this means that we are guaranteed an Obama/Clinton ticket or vise versa. Which, is a bit of a nightmare.

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Philly Debate

Thursday, April 17th, 2008 by Dawn Summers

“The Republicans should just apologize for the past eight years and not run anyone” - Hillary Clinton

You know, I liked her performance last night. She was a billion times less bitter sounding than she was at the debate six weeks ago, which is always a thing people look for in their Presidential candidate, especially a woman. No one likes a bitter woman. Barack was also not as grating to me as he usually is. I was intrigued that he stuck by his raising the payroll tax plan, and equally surprised that Hillary stuck to her Iraq pullout plan even if it would destabilize Iraq.

Most importantly, I was impressed by Hillary’s assertion that 1) Obama can beat McCain, something I myself am not sure that he can do and 2) that she will work as hard as she can and “go wherever” she needs to see that one of them takes the oath of office. Wow. With the speed with which leading Democrats have been jumping off teh Clinton ship, I can’t imagine why she or Bill would ever campaign for any of those ungrateful bastards again — especially that dipshit, Casey. She’s a bigger woman than I, I suppose.

If she ends up actually doing it — you know with reputation for honesty and all. Oh, and ugh, please never mention that she is the candidate choice of Wesley Clark, ever ever ever again. Groan.

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