Clareified

I’m sitting in an office on the tenth floor of a downtown NYC building.

Just outside my window, in the streets below, is a gaggle of Giants fans lining the parade route waiting for the Superbowl champions to float by in a few hours.

In essence, I am currently in hell.

It’s a hell of my own making, I suppose. When one chooses to live in the greatest city in the world AND root for the greatest football franchise in the world — bad things are bound to happen. But I wouldn’t live anywhere else and I wouldn’t root for any football team but the Patriots. The heart wants what it wants.

I don’t have much to say about the game, except I was disappointed, but not surprised. This wasn’t 2008. That we even made the Superbowl was its own miraculous occurence. As per usual, I have my thoughts about those who — despite not following/discussing football with me for the past six months, suddenly feel at liberty to trash talk my Patriots in my twitter at reply feed or on my facebook wall. O_o

If you’re not a Giants fan, you can pretty much go fuck yourself; if you weren’t a Giants fan in December when they lost to the Redskins for the second time of the season, you can also go fuck yourself. If are and were a Giants fan, well, hats off to you, congrats, good win. Yes, you own us.

I know that some find it silly, all this general mopiness following a sports disappointment. And I get that, no one died, nothing collapsed — but the same way that I don’t understand pet ownership, yet respect that when a pet dies owners are sad and the appropriate response is to offer condolences, not shrug and say “who cares” — those in my circles should understand by now –I love my Riots and my Rangers and my Mets. The Patriots lost the Superbowl and I’m sad about it.

I’m sure I will be not sad sometime in the not-too-distant-future but until then… thanks for your sympathy or fuck off — pick whichever applies to you.

I had been wondering when they were going to schedule that Superbowl between the New England Patriots and the New Jersey Giants. Seems like I’ve been waiting FOREVER!

First place team says “unclean! unclean!” *scrubs body with bleach and brillo to get the stink of the last four weeks off*

This is precisely the retarded showboating antics I was afraid of from Chad Can’tcountto85inSpanishcinco.

Off the field, he still hasn’t found a home in the Foxborough area, but is toying with a novel way of getting to know the area.

“I’m going to do something different, I’m actually going to stay with a fan for the first two, three weeks of the season,” he said. “That should be fun, until I get myself acclimated and learn my way around.”

He hasn’t picked out the fan, but there are a few qualifiers.

“I’m not sure how it’s going to work, but they have to have Internet and have to have Xbox,” he said. “That’s about it.”

I’m pretty sure Tom Brady will let you sleep on his couch, doofus. By Thor’s Hammer, this dude better have 36 Touchdown catches by season’s end…or else…

Hmm…speaking of…do you think Tom Brady will let me crash on his couch if I drive up to Foxboro for the Cowboys game…#noporno

I’m not sure exactly how I feel about New England acquiring the wide receiver formerly known as Chad Johnson, except that Dawn’s first rule of Patriotism is “Thou shalt not question Bill Belichick.

However, I do know how I feel about the Eagles taking on Vince Young: bahahahahahahahahahaha

I’d be singing that shit all morning!

Patriots sign the big man Albert Haynesworth!

De-Fense! De-Fense! De-Fense!

Combined with the heft of Wilfork, hide yo nose, hide yo linebackers cause the Patriots will be tackling errybody out there!

This is kinda what my head sounds like all the time:

via PatsPropaganda

Also, I kinda love this dude:

This is one of those lame “I don’t have anything to blog about” posts. Cause I don’t have anything to blog about. Well, I do. But they’re pokery stuff and you don’t care about that. Plus, I’ve been distracted and not even posting about the pokery stuff.

Um. So yeah, the New England Patriots have a huge game coming up on Sunday. I really really really want them to win. I want them to win so bad. And I kind of want them to put a couple of Jets in comas for good measure. You know, just to send a message to Pittsburgh or Baltimore that they can either do this the easy way or the hard way.

I’m trying not to think about it. But it’s like that elephant thing.

Anyway, I know you are all rooting for the Patriots too, so here’s some Tom Brady p0rn to tide you over till the big day:

via Pats Propaganda