Oh, there is nothing like the sound of my car crashing into another car. Groan. Though I guess it’s impressive that I made it almost through August before my first car accident of 2008. Almost.
What are you supposed to take when the painkillers make your stomach hurt? Ow. 
So, I tried to make shrimp teriyaki last night and I set the frying pan on fire. This is perfectly normal, right?
Update: My mother’s comment: “Did you follow the recipe?”
Yeah…don’t really think that was the problem…
There’s no need to say “we can still be friends” if it were true.
I’ve been pouring through my archives trying to come up with 15-20 essays that have a theme or tells some kind of story or that are interesting or at the very least will not have my class laughing its collective ass off at me. Anyway, I came across this chestnut of wisdom and it made me laugh.
I miss you guys out in commenter land. Clear your caches and try commenting again! 
Speeding in reverse through an underground parking garage is no time to shake it, shake it, shake it like a Polaroid picture.
I love that “You startled me! I apologize” is whitespeak for “I’m not racist. I swear, I always scream and grab my purse when I’m startled. Obama ‘08″
Dehydration: (n) When the only reason you stop bawling your eyes out is because you physically are no longer able to produce tears.
Dear God…please please please please don’t let Obama pick Hillary.