Clareified

Hold up…I’m starting to think typing ‘I just typed ‘fuck you’ but then erased it” is still pretty much a fuck you.

voice 1: “I don’t want to lose you”
voice 2: “Then don’t forget where you put me”

via karol

Just saw the best name ever for a lawyer league softball team:
The Harmless Errors!

Hahahahahhaa

What one refers to as “the heart” is really just your head making your stomach hurt.

I hate having to buy plane tickets three weeks in advance because I can’t afford my spur of the moment trips anymore. Commitment’s a bitch.

Just because you expect the worst doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when it happens.

If you press the space bar it moves down the page faster than if you use the down arrow key!

Clareified: All about something and information.

So a complete and utter inability to play ‘Halo’ doesn’t indicate retardation, right? I mean that game is impossible. My guy managed to fall off every ledge possible, even when we were in a car driving around underground, there he’d be hurtling to the ground.

I was at a poker game today and ordered a quesadilla and a can of Pepsi from a fast food joint a few blocks away. The bill was $5.25. I gave the delivery guy $6.00 and told him to keep the change. As I walked away, the delivery made some remark like “it was $5.25″ I turned back about to say something like “excuse me?” When the guy whose apartment it was said and I quote “Yeah, that’s too little, here you go and I apologize for my friend.” I walked away. Livid. However, as I am evidently a bitch who gets treated poorly because that is what I deserve, I open the situation up to the audience for comment. Was .75 too little a tip for the delivery of two pieces of flour, bits of chicken and an aluminum can filled with carbonated water? Was the apartment owner totally out of line to apologize for my giving him a fourteen point nine percent tip?

Why do I insist on beating my head against a brick wall? It’s not like I haven’t already gotten multiple skull fractures, three concussions and one lengthy stay in a coma. And yet, everytime, it’s ‘hey! Brick wall! You know…if I just smash my head against it hard enough, I bet I can get through!’ And yes, this probably belongs on my poker blog.