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Archive for the 'Mets' Category

Me and the Mets

Thursday, April 29th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

A few months ago, I somehow found myself living at the Harrahs Resort in New Jersey. It wasn’t a bad life so far as lives go. I had a clean bed every night and a warm shower every morning. Plus, and here’s the real awesome part about living in a hotel, everyday they give you rewards points for you to spend on stuff. So, now, on top of the clean bed and warm showers, I could get sandwiches and lattes and candy and chips! I even found this men’s clothing store which sold Patriots stuff! So whenever the evil lady dealer would sit down at my table, I would get up and go shopping with my rewards dollars. If it said Patriots on it, I now own two of it.
And then one day, some eight weeks ago, I saw something completely and totally awesome: A Mets starter jacket complete with patches from both World Series wins AND all our penants. It was a little bit garish BUT, and this was the BEST part, it reversed into a simple Blue jacket with orange trim and “Mets” across the front in white curvy letters! It was like TWO Mets jackets! GIMMEE.
Sadly, I had been burning through my rewards points like…well, like they were free money in a hotel! So I only had like 70 rewards points. The jacket was $125 American dollars.
Aw man.
I tried to haggle with the store owner, with whom I was PRACTICALLY on a first name basis:
“Look, Habib. People down here are Phillies fans. And most visitors down here are gonna be Yankees fans…or women who are here to buy their husbands ties and fancy shirts and whatnot. I am the ONLY person who will EVER buy one of those jackets from you and you have THREE of them! Come on!”
Habib was not impressed.
“Well, you can use your points and then pay for the rest with cash.”
I nearly choked on the free candy I was eating. Does he NOT understand the hotel economic system? I use cash to play POKER at the casino. The casino gives me reward points to buy jackets in stores!
Hmph.
I walked away.
Every week I went back and looked at the three jackets hanging on the wall and tried my argument on whoever was manning the register. I would get that jacket and I would NOT be using cash! Bastards.
Then, one day, I’m walking back to my room and I stop dead in my tracks.
Where there once were three jackets, NOW there were TWO!
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. I paced up and down. This wasn’t happening!
Ok, fine. There were still two jackets left, I just had to earn rewards points…um…faster!
I played and played and played. I was almost there when I went home to Brooklyn last week. I figured I’d buy the jacket the next time I went down to Jersey.
Then Tuesday night the Mets took over first place in the NL East. I did a little dance and decided to go to the Wednesday afternoon game at Citifield. I looked up ticket prices and with the service charges and delivery fees (FOR AN EMAIL) I was all “the game’s better on TV anyways. Hmph. Stupid grapes.”
Anyway, I woke up wicked early on Wednesday and decided that was a sign! I would just go to the ballpark and get tickets there!
I tried to GPS directions and Olga informed me that no such destination existed. So, I called Citifield and after twenty minutes of holding, the nice man informed me that I should just use Olga’s directions to Shea. “It’s right next door.”
Awesome.
I still felt uneasy. But as I neared the destination, I found myself in the middle of a veritable caravan of Mets fans! Choo choo! (Wait, is that the sound a caravan makes?) I pulled into the parking lot (paying twenty bucks for game I did not yet have tickets to.) The parking lot attendant pretty much offered to park my car for me rather than watch me pull in and out time and again trying not to hit the cars next to me.
“Sorry, it’s a new car…I’m not used to it yet.”
He rolled his eyes at me.
Jerkwad.
But as I walked to the stadium, I forgot all about him!
Shea! Or whatever we call Shea 2.0!
I just had to get tickets! Haaaaaaad to!
I waited on line and crossed my fingers. When I got to the window I sheepishly asked for something in the $25-40 range. The lady surprisingly found me a seat for exactly $40! Imagine that!
After being subjected to a pretty thorough physical patdown, I went inside. First stop: Hall of Fame musuem.
They have our World Series trophies inside and as I waited behind this Asian dad and his two kids, I overheard the girl say “It’s like the one they gave the Yankees last year, remember daddy?”
“Yes, honey. But we’re at the Mets stadium, so we don’t talk about the Yankees here…okay?”
I suppressed the urge to say “damn straight”!
The place was crowded with kids, none of whom, so far as I could tell, wanted to be there!
Spoiled brats! I didn’t get to go to my first major league game till I was 23 AND I had to go to a Yankees game! (Where I not only booed them, but cheered when they lost! Yup, I’m charming.)
One girl was clapping gum and sighing “Mr. Friedman. Is this it or do we have to watch the game too?”
The answer disappointed her.
I took some geek pictures of me and a bust of Mookie Wilson and decided I was gonna buy a new Mets ballcap.
“THIRTY DOLLARS??” I said in my best middle aged dad from an eighties TV sitcom voice.
“Do you take total rewards points, by any chance?”
I settled on getting a keychain.
It was an extremely windy day. I had on a turtleneck, my David Wright jersey and a jacket, but I was still cold. I ran back to my car to grab a sweatshirt out of my overnight bag.
Uh oh.
The only sweatshirt I had was one of the many items I had bought with rewards dollars…and it didn’t say Mets…
I went back to the stadium and took my seat.
Again, I was mostly surrounded by kids. In front were a mom, her dad and her two toddlers. They were both bundled up from apple cheeks to toe in Mets gear. SOO CUTETASTIC!
Next to me was a mom and her three kids: two like 8-9 year old boys and their 5-6 year old sister. I laughed as she tried to teach them to cheer for the Mets without being totally nasty to the Dodgers.
“No, sweetie, he’s not a bad man, but we just want him to lose.”
Followed by exchanges like:
“Is he okay?”
“Yes, he’s a Met.”
“Let’s go Ike!”
L.O.L
The Mets jumped out to an uncharacteristic early lead. I was freezing my face and hands off!
With a comfortable 4-1 lead, I went off to get me some Shake Shack.
I don’t know why I assumed this would be indoors. It wasn’t. I don’t know why I thought I’d just walk in and get a burger. I didn’t.
Instead I freezed some more on a line and then watched Maine give up like 18 hits in a row, walk 45 batters And the Dodgers score eleven fifty runs! Arrghh! MAINE!! I leave you for 25 minutes and you panick???
I grabbed my food and ran back to my seat. Can I tell you that my burger and my milkshake were the same temperature? SAME!
(Why’d you get a milkshake if you were so cold, Dawn? Shut up, Question McAskalot. Mind yer business.)
I couldn’t take the cold anymore.
I turned my sweatshirt insideout and put it on.
The Mets got back on track and by the 8th, we had a commanding lead.
A dude in the front row, after doing his “we just scored a run” dance, turned around to look at me.
“Is that a Patriots sweatshirt”?
“Er…yes! I’ve been watching the Story of Us! I want to show my support for the rebels! I hate the British sooo much!”
He laughed.
Whew. Though with a frozen face and frozen fists, I woulda fared pretty well in a fight.
People began to file out, but I stayed and watched KRod wheeze out the final out in the ninth before I got up.
Surprisingly, I did not crack in half.
I made it back to my car and headed to Atlantic City. I was gonna get my schmancy Mets jacket right now!
I speeded to the hotel. I ran straight to the store and Wham!
THEY WERE ALL GONE!
I fell to the floor, shook my fist at the sky and yelled “Kkkkhhhhaaaannnnnnnn!”
And then I looked for a puppy to kick.

Good morning, Riggs

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

First place team says “Where are your Phillies now?”

Dawnie’s choice

Monday, October 26th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

Oh, for those of you wondering, the last post has nothing to do with me staring down the reality of a Yankees/Phillies matchup. Although, all morning I have been enjoying the banter of my fellow Mets fans making their peace with one camp or the other. The stalwart Mets fan deciding that back to back championships would make Philly fans too unbearably cocky, so he’d rather root root root for the home team. Another diehard blue and oranger reasoned that he’d rather watch Yankees fans suffer the humiliation of getting to the World Series and losing for the second time this decade, so he’s donning the proverbial red cap.
I however, nicely summed up my views in the following e-mail:

Tsk, tsk. My fellow Mets fans, you all think too small.
We hate the Yankees.
We hate the Phillies.
Why torture yourselves with questions of which hatred is stronger, which rooting will cause less vomiting and face meltage? As someone who has unfortunately had a recent experience with horrible unthinkable sports impossibilities coming true, I present you with eleven words that will change your life. Are you sitting down? 2009 is the year the World Series of Baseball was canceled.
It’s true. Happened to the Superbowl a couple of years ago. These are freaky occurrences, no one has any control over them, but you shrug your shoulders and move on…be it to hockey or basketball or football or…scotch.
Mets ’10!

Reason number 2 why Dawn Summers is so awesome: she does not accept reality as it is, she bends reality to what it should be.

Go Riots!

A little help

Monday, October 5th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

So, this is supposed to be a burn, I guess, but I don’t get it. Explain it to me so I can be appropriately enraged.

Dear Mets fans,

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

So, um, you know how when a pitcher is on pace to have a perfect game? (Yeah, no, obviously not one of *our* pitchers, stop being silly. But you know what I mean.) Okay, so he’s all on pace and when he gets back to the dugout after pitching everyone leaves him alone and shuts the hell up about it?
Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna need from you guys right now. A big steaming cup of shut-the-hell-up-before-you-spook-them-and-they-start-losing-again-and-I-have-to-kill-you.

Please and thank you.

Second to last place team says…

Saturday, July 25th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

Thank God for the Nationals.

Tweets of the week

Friday, June 19th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

do you ever sleep, or do you twitter in your dreams? –Gay Train

For those of you who refuse to take the ride down the rabbit hole, here for your reading pleasure — the Dawn Summers tweets that can’t be beat…this week! (Shamelessly stolen from Conan):

*watching a grown man write his name on the brown bag lunch he’s about to put in the refrigerator. #Fail

*so tempted to write my name on his brown bag too. “Oh, I thought we were all signing lunches today! Sorry.” #Fail

*Want to eat lunch of guy who writes name on his brown bag every morning. Him: That’s mine! Me: I don’t see your name on it. Oh. Mah bad

*just paid $1.94 for 12oz of OJ at McCafe beause Duane Reade was closed. That’s the price of half a gallon. You win this one Ronald McDonald.

*Obama to Eliot Spitzer: I called your office to get your opinion on my finance plan, but they said you resigned after doing it with hookers

*Has to do two years worth of CLE classes by her birthday in 3 weeks. Life, you have just made a very powerless enemy! #fistshake

*Since you asked, CLE is the universe’s way of punishing lawyers for things like suing for too hot coffee. #beingalawyersux #karma

*Is currently listening to a CLE class on fighting traffic tickets in NYC. Stay tuned. #crapImayactuallybeabletouse

*”Tough to beat the lasers!” Damn robots.

*My takeaway from this ‘fighting traffic tickets’ class? I need to become an adminstrative law judge in traffic court. #cake

*has now fully continued to be legally educated. See you same time in ’11.

*Approval for Republican Party below 30%…huh, there’s still a Republican party!

*Do I want to know if the pilot of my plane dies midflight? No #statingtheobvious

*If I had 8 kids at once and ran out of names for them, I would name them after word verification codes on my favorite blogs. Hi mollyako!

*How about that? This is my 1776th tweet! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! #DownwithEngland #Don’ttreadonme #AlexHamiltonishawt #benedictarnoldsux

*wonders if she would have rolled her eyes at revolutionaries spreading anti King George pamphlets. “Ugh, again with this, Thomas Paine?”

*There are enough holes in Paul Blart: Mall Cop to drive Kevin James through

*just put Eddie Murphy’s “Meet Dave” into DVD player. Fully understand that I deserve whatever happens next

And the tweet of the week that really can’t be beat:

*God invented the Patriots because he made me a Mets fan #iftheMetsblowonemore9thinningleadtheywillbetheMets

Facebook status of the day

Friday, June 12th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

If you can catch a fly ball I have a job for you. -KJ

Not so random thought

Friday, June 12th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

Wishes the Mets hadn’t lost to Philly, AGAIN. So that she could have posted her “what’s pinstriped and always loses to the Red Sox” not so random question.

First place team says

Thursday, May 28th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

“Sexy Can I?”