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Where does the good go

Archive for the 'Mets' Category

YA GOTTA WHAT? BEEEEE-LLLLIIIIEEEEVVVVVEEEEE

Friday, May 31st, 2013 by Dawn Summers

A few days ago, I was moping around and channel surfing. I came upon the feed from the Mets game and noticed they were playing our cross town rivals.

Aww balls.

First, the Rangers get clocked in the face by Boston, now I got four days straight of subway series NONSENSE. (In the last three years the Mets have won one out six. EVERY YEAR. There was this ONE year when it looked like we might win TWO out of six and then this shit happened: http://www.iviewtube.com/v/58590/yankees-beat-mets-on-luis-castillo-error Oy.

So, not pleased was I. The game was scoreless in the sixth and I just kept watching. And then we were losing and I kicked myself for getting involved at all. Then it was tied! AND THEN WE WON! But then I was like… dang, at least when the win is in he middle, you can enjoy a couple more games — to win the first one and lose the rest, blah!

And sure enough, the next day we were losing good and properly THEEE WHOLE way. I went to bed in the eighth. But when I woke up the next morning, all the news stations were talking about the Mets sweeping the Yankees at home! I had missed the game winning bottom of the ninth heroics! I felt like those Bruins idiots who left Game 7 in the 3rd because they were down three goals.

I was jazzed! HA! Take that stoopid Yankees.

Then Game three, I hadn’t even turned the game on and the Mets were already up by a run. Then they were up by 5! I took the subway home and they were up 6! IT WAS CRAAAZZYYY.

We win three. And then I started to hope. I googled pictures of brooms. Could it really happen? Or is THIS how they crush our little hearts, we get sooooo close to a sweep and come up short.

I left work early so I could watch at home. I turn on the TV, Mets have a 2-0 lead, but stupid Dylan Gee is pitching. (I have previously explained that Gee doesn’t just have a decimal point in his ERA, he has a comma. He’s plum awful and loves pitching grand slams and back to back homers to opposing teams.)

“Oh no. Not Gee,” I sigh. Thirty seconds later, Cano smacks a homerun and cuts the lead in half.

Cry.

Oh vell.

But nothing else bad happens! I was actually bummed when they took Gee out in the eighth and not for the usual reasons that I’m bummed when they finally take Gee out! Mets still winning! The Mets extend the lead and we come to the bottom of the ninth. Here we go.

This is it, I closed my eyes and crossed my fingers… 2 outs “…and the Yankees are down to their last strike….”

“AND HE STRUCK HIM OUT!!”

YYYYAAYYAAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAAYAYAYAYAYAYYAAYYAYYAAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAAYYAAY

THEEEEE MEEEETTTTTSSSSSS SSSSSWWWWEEEEPPPPPPPPP TTHHHHEEEEE YYYAAANNNKKKKEEEESSSSSS FFFOOORRRR TTTHHHEEEEE FFFIIIIRRRSSSSTTT TTTTIIIMMMEEEEEE EEEEEVVVVVEEEERRRRRRR.

*does the wop*

And so, in honor of my underdogs in orange and blue:

Have a great weekend, everybody!

Funny obits are all the rage this summer

Sunday, August 5th, 2012 by Dawn Summers

This one made Snaps think of me.

According to her death notice published in the Daily Courier-Observer, Friday the 13th was a “perfect day” for Marylou Cunningham Belles to die “for the Stephen King fan she was.”
Belles, a cat lover, was also “a lifelong New York Mets fan though, surprisingly, that wasn’t what killed her,” her obituary reads.

I have to say, it was weird going there for a while. The Mets had all these fans on twitter and a bunch of our players are on twitter too, so it was all “yay, Mets!” And then we had Dickey AND Wright represent us in the All-Star game… even one of the Mets’ greatest critics started to say we had a real shot and stuff. But, I knew better. If I were a smoker, that would have been the point where I exhaled a long steady stream of billowy truth, coughed and snuffed the cigarette butt out with my shoe before walking away.

These people were nuts.

The funny thing is, the Mets weren’t even in first place at the time! We were in second by four games and a game and a half out of wildcard contention. I waited. And the Mets predictably went into their post all star game death spiral, all those optimistic fans vanished from my twitterfeed and life, well life returned to normal.

Amen.

The next generation

Wednesday, April 11th, 2012 by Dawn Summers

I took Sammy, my mom and my cousin to see the New York Metropolitans at Citifield yesterday.

He showed up wearing this:

image

O_o

Are. You. Effing. Kidding?

His mom was all “I’m sorry! I didn’t know! I just put on his baseball hat!”

Mmmhmmm.

First stop: Mets store.

I kid you not, I told that child to pick a hat he liked, take the one off his head and step on it. He totes liked the stepping on it part. The store clerk found the entire exchange hilarious and gave him a bonus Mets stress ball. When we left, I asked Sammy what we say to the Yankees? He dutifully replied “Booooo.”
“Show me a Yankees face!”

image

Thatta boy!

Sadly, the unthinkable happened. As soon as we sat down, Gee gives up a one run homer. The Nationals never looked back and I saw my first live Mets loss in 11 years of going to games! I know this was somehow Fisch’s fault. He’s all “here are awesome front row tickets with a fancy parking pass, Dawn!”
And I’m all “Yay! Thanks Fisch, you’re awesome!”

Then when I leave, and he closes the door behind me, he tents his fingers and says “what you don’t know is that they’re cursed tickets!” And then he and Max laugh evilly while they do the Mickey Mouse dance. #truestory

But cursed or not, the seats were pretty sick. That’s Jason Bay right in front of me.

image

Know how I know that’s Jason Bay? Cause the six high school guys behind me were heckling him mercilessly THE WHOLE GAME!

“You SUCK JASON!”

“You may be the best baseball player in Canada, but that’s like being the best Jamaican bobsledder!”

“You’re the reason my dad left us, Jason!”

“Bay pees sitting down!”

Then a plastic bag blew onto to the field and they were like:

“Hey Bay! Pick up that bag. We’re paying you enough money and you’re not doing anything else! Might as well clean up the field!”

Then the other one was all “Nah, leave the bag; you go to the bench. I bet that bag gets more outs than you!”

Non. Stop.

Best part? At one point one of them was like “You’re so gay Jason Bay!” And another guy was like “Nah, man. That’s not cool, there’s nothing wrong with being gay one way or another.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said sheepishly.

“Jason Bay just sucks!”
They laughed and then started mocking Bay with “MVP MVP MVP” chants.

Ah, good times. Good times.

Can we pay that in Bobby Bonilla?

Monday, March 19th, 2012 by Dawn Summers

Mets settle with Madoff trustee for 162 million.

What he said

Friday, March 9th, 2012 by Dawn Summers

The Rangers look sluggish and sloppy. They’ve tied their worst streak of the season. And now the Mets season looms. These are dreary times in Summersville, but the days are about to get brighter, the sun will be out longer, the evenings warmer perhaps…perchance…

Le Sigh.

The happiness research suggests that “It’s a Wonderful Life” is correct and “On the Road” is an illusion. So I’ll die a Mets fan, exaggerating their potential, excusing their deficiencies. This week, in Florida, I even detected new virtues in the team. In the early days, the Mets were lovable losers, then miraculous winners, then, in the 2000s, big-spending disappointments. Now they are young and frisky, enthusiastic and charming. I’ll enjoy following this team and exaggerating its promise. I have no choice but to love the Mets. Just as I have no choice but to hate the Phillies.

Yeah, the magic of Dawn UNSTOPPABLE Summers

Wednesday, August 10th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

Then, on Tuesday night, the ragtag group conjured a bit of the same magic. Trailing by two runs entering the eighth, they scraped and clawed for three runs to beat the Padres, 5-4, in front of a crowd of 24,619 at Citi Field.

Just sayin’.

Amazin’

Monday, August 8th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

My love of the Mets started humbly enough — listening to the games on the radio or having the game going on my mom’s old TV, the one that was color, but had dials and rabbit ears, while I did my homework on a Saturday afternoon.

I never got to go to a baseball game until my early twenties and then it was a firmwide trip to Yankee stadium. I booed the home team and cheered vociferously when they lost.

A few weeks later, in mid-June of 1999, I went to my first Mets game. AND THEY WON! I went to five more games that summer, using my firm’s fancy box seats, and the New York Metropolitans won them all. I wouldn’t get back to Shea for another two years, but they won all the 2001 games I watched too. I still didn’t really think anything of it till I went to one of the subway series’ games at Yankee stadium in, I think, 2006. It was crazy and I don’t know how, but the Mets won in the Bronx 2-1! I chanted “scooorreeebbooaarrrdd,” the whole way back home at my carload of Yankees fans.

Could it be… dare I even think it…

Then in 2007, I went down to Philadelphia to see the Amazins play the Phillies. I crossed my fingers and shut my eyes real tight “no whammy, no whammy…” NO WHAMMY! THE METS WON AGAIN! I danced around and pointed and laughed at my Phillies fan friends. I was unstoppable. Sadly, I’m also poor. Last year, I only made it to one game in the new stadium– but the Mets won it. This year I had high hopes to make it to a bunch of games, but my work schedule more or less strangled those hopes in their sleep. So when Alceste emailed a few days ago to say that new Aunt Dawn 2 (congrats!) would be attending her nephew’s bris, so he had an extra ticket to the Braves/Mets game, I was ecstatic!

Thunderstorms were forecast and I couldn’t find my David Wright jersey OR my favorite Mets t-shirt, but I still looked forward to good luck charming my guys to a victory over the dreaded racist Atlanta Braves. Alceste and I agreed to meet for an early dinner before the game. He totally tried to get me to miss the game by giving me terrible directions to the imaginary restaurant. RUDE. I found him ANYWAY! SO THERE!

Citifield was giving away awesome Mets sports bags at the stadium, so this was already a banner day! I didn’t want to do anything rash about my missing Wright jersey, so I told Alceste that he was not to allow me to buy anything at the Mets store…no matter how many runs we beat the Braves by. He laughed in my face. #DOUBLERUDE

As soon as we took our seats, it started to pour. Awesome. We passed the time taking crappy pictures and watching the retrospective of the ’86 World Series playing on the big screen. About 70 minutes after the scheduled start time, the game officially began.

Five minutes into the game, Justin Turner hits a home run! YAAAYYYY!!!!

Alceste makes a comment about the apple that pops up when a Mets guy hits a homer and I’m all bummed.

“Wait..what apple?! I didn’t see an apple! I WAANNNAA SEEE THHEEE APPPLLEEEE.” Instead, the Mets guys just hit a bunch of singles and doubles and stuff and end up entering the second inning with a 2 run lead. I’m feeling good!

And then disaster strikes…horrible terrible badness of bases loaded, no Braves outness. I cry. Atlanta empties those bases AND THEN SOME! Duda drops a ball that not only should he have caught, BUT THAT HE DID CATCH, turning an out into a triple. I cry, gnash my teeth and scream to the heavens. “WHHHYYY GOOODDD WHHYYY?”

The fourth inning began with the Braves up 5-2 and my streak looking decidedly over.

“I HATE YOUR STUPID RACIST BRAVES!”

“Well, they have the second best record in the National League,” Alceste deadpans.

“I will cut you.”

I was hungry and thinking about going to walk around looking for food rather than watch the rest of this debacle. Instead…I stayed. AND BOY AM I GLAD I DID!

No outs, guy on first, Jason Bay — who is usually an epic disappointment — knocks one out the park to get us within one run. Then the Atlanta pitcher loads up the bases and Reyes brings in the tying run! They’re BACK BABY! AND I GOT TO SEE THE APPLE!

Atlanta takes the lead again briefly in the seventh, but then the Mets go all Mike Tyson on their asses and rain down hits! Mets are up by two! Alceste applauds!

“HA! You’ve come around! You can no longer abide all the racism and now you love the Mets!”
“No, that was a good hit and smart baserunning. I’m applauding that.”

O_o

I do not understand why Alceste does not get how this works. Your team does something awesome, you cheer. The other team does something awesome, you cry. GOOD LORD, MAN!

OH! AND THHEEENNN… so you know how they shoot t-shirts up in the stands? Well, the Pepsi Party Patrol guy came up to our section and started throwing t-shirts. I was eating, so my hands were covered in ketchup and whatnot…plus, I am like two feet tall, so whatever, no shirt for me. BUT ALCESTE, the giant, snatches a shirt right out of the air…it was actually pretty hilarious and he’s about to give it to me, but my hands are all dirty, so he puts it on his chair. THEN like two minutes later, he decides he is going to give it to the little boy next to me instead. I practically tackled him, but he just gave it to the kid’s dad over my wee, teeny head.

I immediately went to tell twitter about how racist Alceste is and he simply goes “I shake my head in advance about whatever you’re about to tweet.”

I glare in his general direction. OH and this coming from a guy who started singing a “kill all the children” song in the middle of the game! Yah. THAT GUY is shaking his head at ME! I like kids and all, but the t-shirts are not kids shirts AND he and his dad totally left the game right after that! Quitters.

Ahem…so..where was I? Oh yeah, the Mets are being all amazing and TURNER HITS ANOTHER HOME RUN! I’m full on doing the wop in the stands!

OH MY GOSH! WHERE’S THE METS STORE??! IMMA BUY FOUR JERSEYS AND NINE HATS!! WHOOO!!!

The Braves bring out some guy in the bottom of the eighth and Alceste goes “well, they’ve conceded the game,” sure enough the Mets hit ANOTHER HOMERUN! I laugh and say well, as long as the Mets don’t put in Acosta, we’ll be in good shape.

#Newark

Acosta comes in at the top of ninth. I cover my face. I know we’re going to win, because I’m in the stadium, after all, but I know it’s going to be ugly. Acosta promptly gives up a homerun with his second pitch. *Headdesk.*

We survive the inning and the METS WIN! I do the robot to celebrate. Alceste ignores my taunting. Jerkwad.

Hopefully, I get to go to the game tomorrow. BJs had a promotion that you could exchange your ticket from Saturdays awesomesauce game for 2 tickets to a future game. I will spare yall the details of my quest to collect on that deal, suffice to say, I am now in possession of tickets to Tuesday’s game in super craptacular seats.

LET’S GO METS!!

Terry Collins takes over the Mets

Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010 by Dawn Summers

Personally, I’d still prefer Bill Belichick and a video camera. But whatevs.

First order of business, Sir, please, PLEASE PLEEEAAAASSSSEEEEE DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES PUT DEREK JETER IN THE BLUE AND ORANGE PLLLEEEEAAAAAASSSSEEEEEE.

We need our own Derek Jeter from circa 1996. Not this old washed up Derek Jeter.

Please and thank you.

Oh, and where are my manners: Congratulations AND WELCOME!

FIIIIXXXXXX IIIIIITTTTTTTTT

Mets ’11!

One more reason I hate the maths

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010 by Dawn Summers

Mets ’11

Not so random question

Friday, August 20th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

Where does the New York Post think Roger Clemens is going to go if he is convicted? The jail in the monopoly board game?

clemens

In related news, if Clemens is convicted the New York Metropolitans better be awarded the 2000 World Series championship.