Clareified

and is unemployed again?

But hey, I could be dead.

I’ll be sucking my thumb in the back of my closet until 2011. Merry Christmas/Happy New Year.

via Ken Wheaton

The train I was on this morning switched over to the only subway line that doesn’t go into Manhattan. The. Only. One.
I’ve now decided that in terms of bad luck, there is the unlikely, the improbable, the impossible and then mine. Arrgghhh. And now we sing the “how late will we be for work” song.
How late will we be for work? How late? Real late! How late will we be for work? How late? Real late!
Fail. Fail. Fail.

I said if one more thing went wrong, I…
The hope was that with my favorite football team crippled by a freak season ending injury to one of my favorite players, me developing some auto-immune disease, if not cancer, my apartment insurance almost doubling, and my car blowing two tires at once, that I’d be left alone in my misery for a while.
But no, yesterday a trojan virus destroyed my laptop’s operating system. I paid more than two hundred dollars to download programs that didn’t work and talk to agents that couldn’t help, ultimately to face the destruction of four years of work. I cried. For real. For a long time.
And now, after sitting idle at my desk for the last two hours, I’m pretty sure I’m about to be unemployed again.

My spare car keys
Earrings
The number of that dude I met in Charlotte
My favorite black platform sneakers
Scrabble games to better players
Scrabble games to worse players
Passwords to password-protected blogs I used to have
E-mail addresses
Time
My temper
Patience for bullshit
My perfect eyesight
Followers
Bets
My first car
A device capable of playing cassette tapes
My jacks’ playing skills
Dental coverage (ow my tooth hurts)
My Thorn Birds DVD
Poker hands
Jobs
My voice
Heart
My grandparents
Races
Commenters
My gallbladder
Hair
Half my family tree
My toys
Friends
My youth
Fights
The plot
My belief in karma
The decorative buttons on my jean jacket sleeves
My place in line
My place in the world
Control

*shamelessly stolen from This Fish

Be careful what you wish for…

Wish me luck!

via Elana

What’s up with Panda Express discontinuing the “mandarin sauce”? What’s the point of the crispy shrimp if there’s no mandarin sauce?

The alarm I placed on my bank account seven years ago has gone off. Dawn Summers currently needs a stupid job. However, she still does not want a stupid job.

via Polo

When you write something whacko, you should let it sit overnight. – casca

Six and a half hours of sleep in four days is totally normal, right?