Clareified

via Polo

When you write something whacko, you should let it sit overnight. - casca

Six and a half hours of sleep in four days is totally normal, right?

My comments section seems to have imploded. As you all well know, I only blog for comments and presents. So if anyone knows how to fix this problem or has a working email for wordpress support, can you please email me using the link on the right? Thanks.

Jordan has this phrase in poker which goes something like this: cherry…cherry…aww, leehhhmmooon. Things, look good, they still look good and then…sucktacular. Yesterday, I actually got out of bed and showered! Cherry. I left my apartment and went to the honest to goodness outside. CHERRY! On our way to Jersey, Karol and I got hit by a truck. Lemon.

No one was hurt. We got the license plate number, but I have no idea what to do with it and my car’s bumper and back right tail light got smashed.

Oh and I got called for jury duty in two weeks.

Um…wait, this post has no artistic merit whatsoever…hold on…The day was ominously overcast before the truck hit us.

This is what I get for leaving the house.

Me: I have a flat tire.
Salesman: Well, you’re going to need four new tires.

I want to be an optimist. I always have. The power of positive thinking, well, it’s just utterly seductive. But then a lifetime of experience and common sense kick in, and I know I’m doomed. My life is trying to kill me. I suppose I should be grateful though, that I’m not one of those sad people with the rose-colored glasses and belief that everything will be alright. The kind of people who have been so tricked into believing in ‘hope,’ that they are shocked at life’s obstacles and cry “why me” when the bad times come. In the last thirty-one days, I’ve been hit with thousands of dollars in car repair bills – yes, hundreds for the parts, thousands for the dealership labor; two days in the hospital, hundreds of dollars in medical bills, a guest at my apartment breaking my glass shower doors

and necessitating almost a grand in contractor and replacement costs, all leading up to my getting the dreaded, though not entirely unexpected…how did they put it in the DaVinci Code? “This far you may come and no father,” speech from my employer. Really? You couldn’t tell me this before I hired a contractor? I mean, “yes, of course, why wouldn’t this all happen at once?” I decided to head out West to visit friends and take my mind off my…um.. interesting times, and the night I left, not only did I discover my car had a flat-the first flat

I’ve ever had in the seven years since I bought the Professor. Then Karol forced me to watch the gawd awful Mad Men. Like four episodes of them in a row. In California, I somehow managed to donate almost a grand to the local Oakland…um…book club community. And then Fisch lost me to some gang members in a poker game. And then, because it was 20 degrees below zero and snowing, I caught a wicked cold and spent the six hour flight back to New York in a middle seat bioterrorizing the freakishly squeamish soccer mom in the window seat with spectacularly timed hacking coughs.
“Why me,” she seemed to ask as she covered her head in her pretty beige cashmere scarf and held her face against the window.
Because.
If my life is going to kill me, I will not go alone. Hey, now! That’s positively optimistic of me.
Perhaps there’s still hope.

TV Writers poised to strike

Go to Northern California for a few days.

Horrid, horrid, horrid Northern California.

Available     Checking Deposit   $ 3.19       
Available     Savings Deposit   $ 1.30    
Avaliable e-Savings $ 5.37      

Yes, so for those of you playing along at home, Dawn Summers has less than ten dollars to her name until payday.