Clareified

So, I’m at some kind of sporting event — maybe the US Open…and I’m up in the top section. I look down and Tom Brady is posing for some pictures in the first row of my section with some bald kid, I guess it was sick or something.
I gasp and instinctively say ‘Hi Tom’ and wave furiously!
He glances up, but doesn’t say anything.
I’m all oops, sorrry, finish with the sick kid. He finishes posing for pictures and climbs up to where I am. You got a football? I say yeah…cause evidently dreamworld Dawn carries around regulation footballs in her bag…I toss it to him, he catches it and signs it for me, He then gets in his stance and gets ready to throw it back and I say “No! I’ll never catch it…I’m no Randy Moss.” He laughs and says “You can do it,” and throws a perfect spiral right to me! I totally catch it and I’m so happy, he climbs up to me and gives me a big hug. And then he says “it’s not your fault!” And then I say “it’s not yours either!” And then we both say “offensive line” at the same time. We’re so adorable me and Tom.

Think about it Dawn, if the Patriots lose, Tom Brady’s self esteem will be crushed…and then, that’s when you make your move. -Jordan

Team is totally defeated and in last place.

This year’s stellar team will be helmed by the stellar arm of QB Drew Brees. So yes, look for Brees to get injured early and be out for the season.

The rest of the squad in no particular order:

Santana Moss
Donte Stalworth
Joseph Addai
Willis McGhee
Antonio Gates
Matt Jones
Adam Vinateri
Baltimore Defense

Michael Vick indicted for dogfighting. Really.

via Karol

Daunte Culpepper released from Miami. I used to love him so very much.

Ok and because we seem to be in a youtube state of mind, here’s the funny SNL “Really” segment on Michael Vick.

Really.

HAHAHAHAH

I came in second in Fantasy Basketball despite half my players being injured through the season and my forgetting to play the other half.

My baseball team has finally left the league cellar and now that they have been aptly renamed the “Boys of Summers” (I mean, honestly, how did I not think of that before?) I’m sure they will duplicate their basketball brethren’s success.

Víctor Martínez (Cle - C,1B)
David Ortiz (Bos - 1B)
Robinson Canó (NYY - 2B)
David Wright (NYM - 3B)
Hanley Ramírez (Fla - SS)
Juan Pierre (LAD - OF)
Jeff Francoeur (Atl - OF)
Pat Burrell (Phi - OF)
Carlos Delgado (NYM - 1B)
Delmon Young (TB - OF)
Torii Hunter (Min - OF)
Stephen Drew (Ari - SS)

Pitchers
Roy Halladay (Tor - SP)
Aaron Harang (Cin - SP)
Mariano Rivera (NYY - RP)
Jorge Julio (Fla - RP)
Ervin Santana (LAA - SP)
Derek Lowe (LAD - SP)
John Patterson (Was - SP)
Mike Pelfrey (NYM - SP)
Freddy García (Phi - SP) DL

As per usual, should things go horribly wrong, we blame Alceste and P. Oscar.

Stupid Dwayne Wade. Now my fantasy team has lost him AND Yao Ming.

I HATE FANTASY SPORTS!

And Alceste.

It appears that I was first in my fantasy basketball league all season. And then:

The Rockets initially said Yao had only suffered a bone bruise. Now, Jones said he hopes the injury will not require surgery. Without Yao, the Rockets lost to the Clippers 98-93. The injury ruins the best start of Yao’s career. He was averaging 27 points and nine rebounds - both career bests - and had topped 30 points in four consecutive games before scoring 22 in Friday’s 97-78 victory at San Antonio.

Stupidface.

Of course, this wouldn’t have happened if he wasn’t on my team…so…there’s that.

My football team took a tough, season ending loss this week. Stupid Joe Horn.

But, my basketball team continues to dominate the competition.