Clareified

First Edwards cheats on his wife with someone else and now Clay’s got a baby mama. Incidentally, with three names, you’d think they would have tried to make one of them a first name.

RALEIGH, N.C. - Former “American Idol” runner-up Clay Aiken is a father. The 29-year-old crooner from Raleigh announced the birth of Parker Foster Aiken on his Web site’s blog Friday. “No hyphens. One first name,” he wrote. “One middle name. One last name.”

What next universe? Tom elopes with Giselle? Jesse L crushed by truck in highway crossing mishap?

Insert fist shake.

I am on a total Clay Aiken kick these days. Damn. He’s good.

Been wondering what Clay Aiken has been up to? Well, the “American Idol” puppy has signed to do a Christmas show at the Mohegan Sun Dec. 9. (Okay, so he likes to start celebrating early.

I have been wondering what Clay was up to! Just in time for the Dawn Summers all cured and driving again season.

via Ugarles

By the artist of the century:

I didnt really like Clay’s new album when I first listened to it, but after finding myself without my Nano in the car, I was listening to his CD again and man, I can’t believe I ever doubted him. Awesome. This is my favorite track.

I’ll post pictures of Clay if I want to.

He could rest on my armrest anytime.

You’re not festive! You big whiny baby.

How much is Clay? More specifically, how much for Clay to sing for me every single day?

via Gib

And, hey, turns out Tori Spelling is not quite the dirty whore I once thought she was.

Alarming News has the latest Clay Aiken news before me! For what it’s worth, I’m on Clay’s side in all this.

But then again, I have a shovel ready to help him bury Kathy Griffin’s body whenever he needs it.