Clareified

No one deserves such a fate…not even a Red Sox fan.

A woman on a boat died after a spotted eagle ray leaped from the water off the Florida Keys Thursday and struck her, officials said.

via pearatty

Doberman eats 8-month-old’s head

An 8-month-old boy was attacked and killed by the family’s pet Doberman Pinscher in Brooklyn Thursday afternoon, police said.

The 3-year-old dog, a neutered male named Mackabee who had been a member of the Stein family since he was a puppy, set upon Andrew Stein after he touched the dog’s paw inside the family’s home on Ocean Parkway, in Kensington, the boy’s grandmother told police.

BARSTOW, Calif. (AP) — A packed of pit bulls surrounded a woman and mauled her to death, authorities said Wednesday.

After the mauling, the dogs ran to a nearby house. Deputies shot one dog to death when it returned to the scene and acted aggressively as paramedics were trying to save Caldwell’s life, authorities said.

Happy Holidays

via

I was reading Pissed and Petty and he had this post up:

You know the anti-marijuana TV ad they play now where the dog is telling the girl that he doesn’t like it when she smokes weed? Here’s what Joe Rogan has to say about that commercial. I found it to be pretty hilarious.

“Hey Lindsey, I wish you didn’t smoke weed.”

“Really? Well I wish you didn’t freak me the fuck out by talking to me with no warning. You know how to talk? How about a heads up first, motherfucker? Why don’t you start off slow, like maybe write me a note or something? How long have you been able to talk? You could talk all this time, and the first words out of your mouth are criticism? How about ‘hey, I’m your dog, and I can talk!’ Wouldn’t that be a better way to start? Right away with the complaints?”

What’s the message here? Don’t smoke weed or your dog will be disappointed in you?
The same dog that I have to yell at every day to keep him from eating shit out of the cat’s litter box? Is that really a deterrent?
I mean, it’s your fucking dog. Even little kids get to yell at the dog. The dog is the bottom of the food chain when it comes to pull around the house. Who give a fuck what he thinks.

Meanwhile, the craziest thing about the video is that after the dog is done talking, the chick just stands there and thinks about what the dog said.
She doesn’t scream, or call her brother over so he can see, or even ask the dog any questions. She just drops her head in shame over her weed smoking.
Whatever that chick is smoking, it ain’t weed, and keep it the fuck away from me.blockquote>

I don’t like puppies, I don’t like dogs, I don’t like puppy dogs, but evidently I do enjoy a good yarn about puppies and dogs.

On the one hand, I feel terrible to have upset his world like this, but on the other hand, he’s really being a giant drama queen about the whole thing. Part of the problem, I think, is that Otchki doesn’t have a violent or aggressive bone in his body, and doesn’t really consider the prospect of a forceful response, leaving him with two choices:

1. Bark at the new puppy, which only serves to egg him on, if it has any effect at all, and,
2. Run away, which encourages the puppy to chase him.

Sigh - my dog - the Dennis Kucinich of the animal kingdom.

Koshka’s dealt with it a little better, in part because Koshka has several violent bones in her body, and is better equipped to communicate to the new puppy that his life does in fact depend on him leaving her the hell alone. Of course, given her age and reduced reaction time, her carrying out these threats would practically require Smutyan to leap directly into her jaws. Yesterday, I spent an entertaining ten minutes watching him apparently attempt to do just that. She got him once, and he left her alone and moved on to aggravating Otchki.

A hunter is recovering after he was shot in the leg at close range by his dog, who stepped on his shotgun and tripped the trigger, an official said Tuesday.

James Harris, 37, of Tama, was hit in the calf Saturday, the opening day of pheasant season, said Alan Foster, a spokesman with the Iowa Department of Natural Resources.

Hmmm

Monkeys murder Delhi government official.

The deputy mayor of the Indian capital Delhi died on Sunday after being attacked by a horde of wild monkeys.

SS Bajwa suffered serious head injuries when he fell from the first-floor terrace of his home on Saturday morning trying to fight off the monkeys.

via Michael

RICHMOND, Va. - Only one of the remaining 49 pit bulls seized from a home owned by NFL quarterback Michael Vick at the outset of a dogfighting investigation should be euthanized.

That was the finding by a team of dog behavorial experts assembled by the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals to test the dogs.

What’s the line on how long it takes for one of these dogs to maul someone to death?

What’s the rule on running over a black cat? I mean…it didn’t quite successfully cross your path right?