Clareified

Where does the good go

June movie reviews

I’ve been dragging my heels on this one for weeks now, no idea why. This is probably how blogging died. Lethargy. Well, I’m here now, you’re here now, let’s do this thing!

Fast & Furious Six: Fasterererrerer with EXTREME FURIOUSITY

Loved it. Listen. LISTEN. Cars asplode. Vin Diesel. The Rock. That dude with the pretty eyes. I AM HERE FOR ALL OF IT! Halfway through the the movie, I was all, maaaan, I hope they make enough Fasts and Furiouses so that you could spend a whole day just watching pretty cars get blown up by rocket launchers. THEY’RE HALFWAY THERE PEOPLE!!

Ironman 3

Loved it. Recently, I heard the word “abortion” used to refer to something other than a fetus termination, and this has become my turn of phrase du jour. For instance, after the Ironman 2 abortion of a movie, I wrote off the franchise and even almost boycotted Avengers. I waited so long to even go see Ironman 3, it was no longer available in 3D. Didn’t care. But, I actually loved Ironman 3. It was funny, it made sense, I got to see bad things happen to Gwyneth Paltrow… stuff blows the hell up. I give it three iron thumbs up!

The Expendables 2

This is THEEE single greatest movie ever made in the 21st century. The good guy bursts into the church where the bad guys are preparing and stabs the lead bad guy in the face on top of the altar and then he goes “I now pronounce you man and KNIFE!” Get it? Get it? Instead of wife…knife…cause he stabbed him??? WITH A KNIFE!!! DUDE! *slow clap*

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