I was going to send Julius Goat a tweet yesterday containing my usual foot tapping, so he would think I had my April movie review post done. BUT THEN, nothing would be there because it WASN’T done! And then I would say “April Fool’s” and laugh and laugh. But then I got distracted with Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, the Mets and the Rangers and next thing you know, it’s April 2nd and the post actually IS done, so… (and this is why Dawn Summers can’t get nowhere as a prankster.)
Anyhoo…this see what we have here…
BBBOOORRRRRRIIIIINNNNNNGGGG. I don’t know why this movie isn’t called “The Thirteenth Amendment.” Because that’s all it’s about. It’s not about Abraham Lincoln – not about his childhood or his marriage or his children or even his presidency, really – it’s about the twelve months preceding the ratification of the thirteenth amendment. Sadly, even though Spielberg chooses this narrow sliver of a political moment, he still mostly gets it wrong and manages to whitewash all black involvement out of it, save the occasional sad eyes of his wife’s black maid or Senator Stevens’ black lover who is unveiled in the last scene. Eye roll. Joe Morton could totes have played Frederick Douglass! I deeply and sincerely hate Hollywood sometimes. Anyway, bah. This movie is dumb and boring. And I have no idea why any of these people were nominated for anything.
This movie is a cute little romantic comedy about a work from home customer service representative who decides to robo call random strangers during the day. There’s a surprise ending that I didn’t see coming.
The Brother from Another Planet
This movie was weird. It’s about an alien who takes the form of a black man and lands in Harlem. He is being chased by other aliens, but it’s not really made clear in the movie why or who they are. The movie chiefly runs on the premise – hey, he’s an alien, but he’s a black guy! Get it? Cause America kinda treats black guys like *they’re* aliens… eh… eh… GET IT??! Some of it works, some of it doesn’t.
This movie was great. Oh, I meant to google this before I wrote the racist-ish sentence I’m about to write, but… uh… hi, I’m super lazy. Racist sentence coming in 3…2… so this movie is about people in Iran or Iraq or somewhere in that region of the world (hangs head in shame) the woman wants to come to America, the husband doesn’t want to because he has to care for his senile father. The woman files for divorce hoping the husband will change his mind rather than get divorced. He doesn’t and then he has to hire a woman worker to do the housekeeping/caretaking. Some stuff happens and the police are called. And then it gets sad. There is a preteen daughter involved. Sniff sniff.