Where does the good go

What does black have to do with it?

It’s been one year since 17-year-old Trayvon Martin was killed walking home from the grocery store. I won’t recount the story because I’m sure most people know it by now. But do you know who Jordan Davis is?

Davis, 17, was in car with his friends listening to music, when a man parked alongside them, said their music was too loud and asked them to turn it down. They said no. An argument ensued and then the man opened fire on the kids in the van, killing Davis.

I was in Miami when Michael Dunn was arrested and I remember an interview with Jordan’s dad. The reporter asked him if he thought Michael Dunn was racist and Jordan’s dad said no. He said he didn’t think his son was killed because he was black, he was killed because Michael Dunn was angry about the loud music and that anger led him to use his gun. Two things struck me about the exchange. First, why is a parent of a dead kid being asked why the killer shot his son. Second, why was Mr. Davis working so hard to avoid the obvious? Grief is a funny thing and the media spotlight even funnier, so I didn’t really think about it anymore. Plus, I was in Miami. Deep thoughts don’t happen in Miami.

But yesterday, I was having a discussion about whether the whole “The Onion called a nine-year-old a cunt” thing wasn’t really just blown out of proportion. After asking if it was cool that this child’s parents will now have to explain to her what that word means and why some anonymous fucktard, who has never met her, would call her that. And pointing out that now whenever this kid googles the coolest night of her life THAT is what she will see, I responded with witty sarcastic comments, interspersed with a string of well placed expletives. At the end of which, I was met with “well, but what does her being black have to do with it?”

I didn’t reply, but the question immediately reminded me of that interview I had watched in Miami. So I went to my good friend google and ran some searches.

“Teens killed by adults under stand your ground laws.”

I went through about a 100 articles, but didn’t find any instances of an adult killing a non black child under the expansive self-defense doctrine.

Then I ran a search for: “Child Oscar nominees”

This also netted some interesting “what does black have to do with it” results.

A couple of days before the Oscars Snaps linked to an article calling it “the best thing” he read that DAY.

Now, Snaps is a two time published author, so I clicked on the link, and after determining that, in fact, there were NO pictures of animals dressed or acting like humans, I started to read.

After reading for a few minutes, I arrived at this gem:

I also don’t vote for anyone whose name I can’t pronounce. Quvez—? Quzen—? Quyzenay? Her parents really put her in a hole by giving her that name — Alphabet Wallis.


What’s that now?

An anonymous “Hollywood insider” has just written, he’s not considering this child, whose parents have put her in some kind of hole, even though she is the youngest nominee ever for one of our country’s top acting prizes, because of her name. Which *he* can’t pronounce because evidently his google or TV is broken. Her name was read aloud when she was nominated. LOOK IT THE FUCK UP. Meanwhile, this douchnozzle probably drives his own precious children, Siobhan and Chloe, to soccer practice every weekend. (Also, he awesomely then praises Joaquin Phoenix in the next paragraph. Mmmhmm, guess he HAD to learn to pronounce Spanish names to converse with his…nevermind, back to “what’s black got to do with it?”)

Well, Quvenzhané Wallis is a hard name, never has the Academy nominated a person whose name was…
Gérard Depardieu
Massimo Troisi
Demián Bichir
Javier Bardem
Geneviève Bujold
Renée Zellweger
Saoirse Ronan
Quentin Taratino
or his movie Django Unchained

But yeah, okay, let’s call this girl “Alphabet” because that’s hilarious.

Then never mind all the red carpet reporters calling her “Little Q” or “Annie,” because, you know, that’ll be her next role, thanks to the braintrust at the Onion, the number one google result for this child’s name is some article about her being called a cunt.


The host of a popular hockey radio show said he lost faith in humanity when the Onion is forced to apologize for its “hilarious” joke. I kid you not. He called it HILARIOUS. Defenders said “lighten up” it’s “satire” it wasn’t about her it’s about “cattiness in Hollywood.” My God, can’t you take a joke.

So, let’s see, she doesn’t get a vote because her parents put her in a hole (UGH It’s a JOKE, he was being FUNNY); Let’s refer to her as “Little Q” or Annie AND, HOLD UP, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS HILARIOUS? HAHAHA THAT CUNT LOST!



You know what I googled next?

“Oscar and Hailee Steinfeld”

“Oscar and Saoirse Ronan ”

“Oscar and Anna Paquin”

“Oscar and Abigail Breslin”

All of them were Oscar nominees under the age of 16.
Do you know how many anonymous shots were taken at them due to their name? Do you know how many times an anonymous dipshit called them a cunt? NONE.


I was surprised too!

What. Does. Black. Have. To. Do. With. It.

As I turned this post over in my mind, I also came across these two stories: 16-year-old white model, made up in blackface for “African Queen” editorial in a fashion magazine.

And an Orthodox Jewish politician IN *Brooklyn* New York wore blackface to complete his “black basketball player” costume.

The assemblyman, Dov Hikind, a Democrat and a longtime power broker in the Orthodox Jewish community, wore an Afro wig, brown makeup, an orange jersey and sunglasses as part of a costume that he said represented a “black basketball player.” But on Monday morning, after The New York Observer published an article about the costume, Mr. Hikind found himself at the center of a firestorm. He initially brushed off the attention, writing on his blog that it was a product of “political correctness to the absurd” and adding, “There is not a prejudiced bone in my body.”

“A lot of people just don’t realize, on Purim, in a sense, forgive me for saying this, you do crazy stuff,” he added. “It’s not done, God forbid, to laugh, to mock, to hurt, to pain anyone.”

But Mr. Hikind said he had learned a lesson from the blackface episode.

“Next year I was thinking I’d be an Indian,” he said. “But you know, I’ve changed my mind about that. I don’t think that’s a good idea. Somebody will be offended.”

This morning he issued one of those “if you were offended” I apologize, apologies.

Oh my gosh, isn’t that so funny! HA HA HA Look at me I’m a “black basketball guy”! (Anyone else curious if there’s video of the party? Mmm)

Fuck. Him.

Fuck Numero magazine.

“Black basketball player guy” isn’t a fucking afro wig. Being a black girl isn’t bronzer.

These are black basketball guys wearing hoodies in the memory of a 17-year-old shot to death cause he “looked suspicious”

When you’re a real little black girl, you get called a cunt in national publications AND PEOPLE THINK IT’S HILARIOUS!

Real black boys and girls make up about two-fifths of the missing children in the FBI database, AND NO ONE GIVES A SHIT.

Can you imagine that there actually is an organization called “Black & Missing” because around five years ago, someone finally figured out no one else ever would give a shit?

So what does black have to do with it? I don’t know. You tell me.

11 Responses to “What does black have to do with it?”

  1. Samuel F. Reynolds Says:

    This was awesome and spot-on.

  2. Ugarles Says:

    That’s why I refuse to give in to my instinct that it isn’t racial.

    brb – editing to include a link to this.

  3. Dawn Says:

    Why does everyone think Dakota Fanning was nominated for an Oscar? But yes, your point that the joke *could’ve* been made about any of the other nine preteenish noms, but wasn’t is precisely the point. Heck, the onion could have made the same gross joke using the old lady from Amour, but again, nope, they went with the black kid. Fuck them. I wish

  4. Dubsilk Says:

    This is the part about racism that many foks just don’t get: People have the audacity to do and to say things that they would not dare say to someone else.

    – Birth Certificate
    – “You Lie”
    – Shoot first ask questions after…if at all.
    – “Cunt”

    Often I think back to the scene at the end of A Time to Kill, when McConaughey is giving his closing statement. After describing the rape of a 10 year girl, he asks the jury to imagine that the girl were white.

    If the writer at the Onion had imagined a young white actress, the word “cunt” would not have crossed his mind and if it had, certainly would not have been “printed”.

  5. dawn Says:

    Stoopid wordpress cut off my comment!

    “I wish… that whoever wrote that comment could be locked in a room and throatpunched and whenever Ms. Wallis is upset thinking about his comment, she could log in to a website and see him being throatpunched until she feels better.”

  6. AgSweep Says:

    Absolutely right. Racism is alive and well. If Barbara Bush handed out an Oscar would anyone be all “She shouldn’t do that she’s the first lady”?

    And let’s not forget, she’s a GIRL too. I mean it’s okay to call girl’s names right? What term would you call a boy which would be equally degrading? Is there one? Who even thinks about a child in those terms?

    I was impressed by the diversity of the women who were nominated, presenting and performing, all races, shapes, ages…. But then I realized it is the one time a year that the movie industry has to recognize those women because of their talent, but the reality is that they are not the ones getting the majority of the work in the movie industry, it remains an industry intent on objectifying women.

  7. NL7 Says:

    Don’t you think it’s hypocritical to say ‘fucktard’ in a post where you’re calling for greater sensitivity? You probably didn’t mean it as a way to insult people with developmental disabilities, but that’s what it means. If you want to be a wet blanket, then you should probably be egalitarian about it. Which is where discussions like this lead – once anybody is beyond mocking (even mean-spirited mocking) you no longer have control over which subjects can be mocked unless you accept that you care less about offending some people versus others.

  8. Dawn Says:

    O_o Cunt

  9. memento Says:

    This can be the worst post of all, I’ve read

  10. Dr. Vincent Malfitano Says:

    Dr. Vincent Malfitano

    Clareified » Blog Archive » What does black have to do with it?

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