Clareified

Whenever I start watching a new show, I like to play a game.

“Where have I seen that actor before”?

I used to be really good at this. In the last ten years, my skills, thanks to imdb, have fallen off considerably, but I still try.

Anyway, so there I am watching “The Following,” and the one surviving victim looked really familiar, but I couldn’t figure it out. When I imdb’d it, turns out, she was Maggie Grace! BALLS! I totes should have gotten that one!

So, I decided to be really strict with myself, like can’t look it up for a day. The black guy detective I recognize, but he’s one of those actors I ALWAYS confuse with another actor. Tell me these two men are different. I DARE YOU. I know, I know #races.

Anyway, once I got it down to “the guy from Dexter/True Blood” I count it as gotten.

THEN the white FBI detective looked really familiar, so I worked on figuring that one out. BOOM. GOT IT.

Jimmy Olsen from Smallville, Aaron Ashmore! I go to check and imdb says I’M WRONG! WWWWHHHHHAAAAATTTTTTT?????

Annoyed, AND POSITIVE THAT IMDB IS WRONG, cause DUDE, I AM POSITIVE, I go to the following characters list and look for the guy’s name. Still nothing. I sigh and give up.

When I went to check that I got the stupid ex-wife from Justified right, I notice the name Shawn Ashmore! Heeeeyyy, what’s going on here?! Did that negro change his name?

I check and NOPE. TWINS! THEY’RE FREAKING TWINS. EVEN WORSE? THEY’RE FREAKING CANADIAN TWINS!

NEWMAN!

Also, that totally counts as me being right!

HMPH.

Canada.

So, you know how *I* invented Taylor Tuesdays, right?

AND not so random thoughts?

Okay, good. Just checking. (And shut up, VinNay, I’m totally over it and not dwelling. You’re dwelling.)

OH, but awesome story about being a mature not dwelling adult:

I was reading twitter and I saw a link about a thing THAT I INVENTED being bandied about and when I clicked the link, I saw that I was given no credit at all.

Of course, being the mature adult that I am, I published a series of subtweets and threw a temper tantrum. But then, when I realized there is no way I could prove that I invented the thing, and well, even if I could, it’s not like it was the polio vaccine or anything, so whatever. But I was riled up and couldn’t focus, so I went downstairs to get lunch, but the deli was out of hamburgers. (Yeah, let THAT settle for a minute) NOW I’m doubly annoyed because not only did I not get credit for not inventing the polio vaccine, but now, NO hamburgers!

Anyway, I go to the bathroom, because I had decided no sense going in the office when I would soon be standing around at the deli waiting for them to grill my hamburger and I totally had to go. So, I walk into the bathroom and RIGHT ON THE FLOOR OF THE STALL IS A TWENTY DOLLAR BILL! AND SOME CHANGE!

So, the way I figure it, the universe has paid me twenty dollars for not inventing a polio vaccine!

And now I’m over it and shan’t speak of it again.

*throws stapler*

(ALSO INVENTED BY ME!) #RUUUUDDDEEEE (That I may have stolen from Stephanie on Full House)

Since yesterday… everything has changed.

UGH! Can we move them to Brooklyn???

*Files nails*

Amirite, people?

Is it appropriate to put “want two men to end up in jail for fighting over me” on a bucket list?

Shut it.

Probably.

I feel like how I imagine junkies feel. Hmm… okay, junkies may be the wrong word because that invokes images of vagrancy and drooling heads bobbing up and down on a barely conscious body. How about… a recreational cocaine user? Those are the laughing, talking a mile a minute drug users, yes? Okay, then I feel like how I imagine they feel!

My concentration is crap though! I can’t even get through my TV shows! I just want to listen to sports radio and rewatch clips of Brady lobbing a touchdown pass to Shane Vareen (DUDE!! COUSIN OF TAP DANCER BEN VAREEN!!!) all damn day long. Tee hee. I thought trying to write something would help me focus, but nope. I’m boring myself. Okay, back to WFAN Denver for me. I don’t know how many neck surgeries it’s going to take to repair Payton Manning after all the busses that he has been thrown under today!

Tee Hee

Viva Tommy Touchdown! Let’s GO Patriots win this for Gronkowski’s forearm!