July movie reviews!
YOU GUYS!!!!
IT’S JULY!!!
MY Birthday month aka the bestest month in the year! Though, this year my birthday season is already scheduled to last through mid August. So, in anticipation of turning however old I will turn on July 8th (my birthday) I watched a whole bunch of movies and now I’m going to tell you about them. YOU’RE. WELCOME!
Take Me Home Tonight
Stupid VinNay picked this stupid movie. I read the summary about this flick set in the 1980s, about a recent college school grad Topher Grace, who can’t find a job, so he pretends he works at Goldman to impress his high school crush. I knew it would be dumb and suggested we watch the People vs. George Lucas instead. But nooooooo. So in the stupid movie, Topher has a twin sister and she’s about to marry the high school jock king. Again, I don’t know what’s going on with Topher Grace, but I hope he gets whatever help he needs so that he stops making these horrible horrible movies. Meanwhile, halfway through, I noticed VinNay was all suspiciously quiet, so I thought he fell asleep, but nooooooooo, Senor Asshole switched to the George Lucas documentary!
The People vs. George Lucas
I distinctly remember being a freshman in college and I was telling my best friend about some horrible thing some senior did and he was all “you should Darth Vader her,” and I was all “who’s Darth Vader?” And I heard the phone drop and there was screaming and then I was forced to watch the original trilogy for like four hundred times in a row. And then, when Episode I came out five years later, he made us stand on line all gotdang day to see it at the Zeigfeld Theater on opening day. Our seats were soooo bad — we were in the first row, with our necks craned the whole time. This was then his justification for forcing us to see the damn thing AGAIN even though I was pretty sure it was horrible. “No, we were just too close!” Then when we saw Episode II, even he had to admit it was shite. At that point, I was tempted to point out that, actually Episodes IV-VI weren’t all that good either… but I held my tongue. I don’t know what he thought of Episode III, but I was laughing as I watched this movie about super Star Wars fans complaining that George Lucas ruined their lives with the prequels. I was rolling my eyes at these sad sacks and the whole chronicling of George Lucas’ betrayal… UNTIL they got to the discussion of Indiana Jones 4. And then…well, I understood their pain and outrage, because while I’ve always been a lukewarm Star Wars person (come on… MARK HAMILL IS THE WORSTEST!) Indiana Jones IS MY ALL TIME FAVORITE. I had a stuffed rabbit named Harrison. Luv him. And Indiana 4… well… it… I… fuck you George Lucas! FUCK YOU RIGHT IN THE FACE!
July 2nd, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Take me home tonight was funny. Especially the fat guy.
July 2nd, 2012 at 3:06 pm
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