Clareified

Where does the good go

May movie reviews!

Read the whole thing.

The Descendants
Full disclosure: I cannot take any movie seriously once a main character takes off running aimlessly after hearing bad news. I just can’t. I start laughing everytime and that’s it – especially since those moments are accompanied by the most ridiculous dramatic music and (usually) rainfall. So, about twenty minutes in, this movie, which is supposed to be the poignant story of a husband who finds out his comatose wife was cheating on him and is left with two daughters to raise and a family legacy to protect, loses me. But, that may just be me. Also, the crazy secretary from Arrested Development plays a dramatic role as the wife of the man the coma wife had the affair with and well, I just think it was poor casting cause I kept waiting for her to be funny.

Return of the Secaucus 7
This movie is dumb. It was on EW’s list of best movies about reunions of college friends, and as my reunion is coming up, I thought I should see what I was in for. Bah. It’s not interesting. It might have been a better movie if they had started from the last ten minutes – instead of just ending the movie abruptly just when the characters got interesting.

Our Idiot Brother
I fell asleep watching this movie with F-train. The next day, I put it back on, he walks in the room and goes “trust me, it was better when you were asleep.” He was right. Blech.

Tower Heist
This movie wasn’t the worst. It’s about the staff at a hotel planning to steal back the money lost in their pensions from the pension fund manager. It’s silly and implausible, but fun.

Mirror Mirror
Ugh. This movie could have been great. It’s like, they had all the pieces for a great movie and then just put them in all the wrong order and, instead, we get this mess. In a movie about Snow White and the Evil Queen they’ve GOT NO APPLE BITING AND JULIA ROBERTS NEVER SAYS “MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL WHO’S THE FAIREST OF THEM ALL?” W.T.F? EPIC FAIL.

3 Responses to “May movie reviews!”

  1. Yaron Says:

    Thanks for these reviews. Of these, I’ve only seen “The Descendants” – it was okay. Judy Greer was great in it – personally, when I saw her, all I could think of was her excellent role as “Fatty Magoo” on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

  2. ugarles Says:

    He didn’t run aimlessly! He ran right to the house of the friends who knew that his wife was cheating on him but didn’t tell him and yelled at them!

  3. awillage Says:

    awillage…

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