Clareified

Where does the good go

Archive for April, 2012

Taylor Tuesday!

Tuesday, April 10th, 2012 by Dawn Summers

This is Mary’s favoritest Taylor Swift song!

April Movie Reviews!

Monday, April 9th, 2012 by Dawn Summers

The Lorax
I don’t know why the powers that be would pair Taylor Swift and Zac Efron in a movie, but NOT have them sing and dance and be awesome WHERE I CAN SEE THEM! No, I’ve gotta settle for voiceover Zac and Taylor! And let me tell you: I WAS NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT! Although, they did spare me having to look at Ed Helms’ stupid face, so thank heaven for small mercies. This movie is dreadful. The Lorax is a manipulative, homicidal psychopathic cult leader. I’m not even kidding. Not one bit. Unless… No. Unless nothing, this movie sucked it.

Kung Fu Panda 2
Cute movie. Though I don’t recall leaving Kung Fu Panda having all that many unanswered questions. Or any at all. But, they have a new bad guy threatening China. Can the kung Fu Panda rise to the challenge? Yes. Yes he can. Obama ’12. What? That’s what the movie is about, isn’t it? A black and white hero who saves a nation from evil? Well, that was MY takeaway. You guys can suck it. Hmm… dear Obama campaign, feel free to use that as the new slogan “You guys can suck it.”

21 Jump Street
I totally thought I was going to hate this movie because I usually hate movies with that used-to-be-fat-and-now-he’s-less-fat-dude. But the movie is actually sharp and funny (though it did hit an insufferably long boring patch in the middle). The ending is AMAZING especially if you remember watching the 21 Jump Street TV show as a tween.

The Future
HAHAHAHHAAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Okay, let me give you the plot of this movie: two twenty-something hipsters decide to adopt a three legged cat. They are told to come pick the cat up in thirty days. On their way home they realize “OH MY GOD! IN *THIRTY DAYS* WE’RE GOING TO BE CAT OWNERS!” The rest of the movie is how they decide to spend their last days of life before the cat comes, as, I assume, they realize that the cat will eat their faces on Day 31. And, I can’t lie, I would sorta be rooting for the cat. Do not, under ANY circumstances, see this movie. I’m also gonna go ahead and hashtag this film #whitepeopleproblems

Safe House
Sigh. I may have to break up with Ryan Reynolds. Two utterly unwatchable movies in a row AND HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO PUNCH DENZEL WASHINGTON IN THE FACE?? ##RRRRAAYYYYCCCEEESSSSS Bleeeccchhh. This predictable and formulaic movie about a rogue spy and a rookie spy whose worlds collide in South Africa is a snoozefest.

The Ides of March

It’s okay that I’m breaking up with Ryan Reynolds because I am ALL IN on Ryan Gosling! HE IS GREAT IN EVERYTHING! And everything he does is great! Swoon. I thought Ides was going to be dumb, like Primary Colors, but it wasn’t. It was wonderful, like Dodgeball! And the best thing about breaking up with Reynolds for Gosling, besides sticking with the name Ryan? At least Gosling’s not Canadian like that fradulent pretender Reynolds who tried to trick me. LA LA LA LA I can’t hear you.

Read the whole thing

Have a good weekend

Friday, April 6th, 2012 by Dawn Summers

I seem to lean on
Old familiar ways
And I aint no fool for love songs
That whisper in my ears
Still crazy after all these years
Oh, still crazy after all these years

Four in the morning
Trapped out, yawning
Longing my life away
I’ll never worry
Why should I?
I know it’s all gonna fade

Now I sit by my window
And I watch the cars go by
I fear I’ll do some damage
One fine day
But I would not be convicted
By a jury of my peers
Still crazy after all these years
Oh, still crazy
Still crazy
Still crazy after all these years

Brooklyn man chops up noisy roommate

Thursday, April 5th, 2012 by Dawn Summers

Huh. And this story is NOT about me? Nice!

Lies about Canada – by guest blogger VinNay

Wednesday, April 4th, 2012 by Smarty Pants

It’s a commonly held belief that Canadians are courteous, friendly, and respectful. There are even jokes about how nice they are. These are lies. Horrible, horrible lies.

Don’t get me wrong, I have friends who are Canadian, and they are great people. But as a whole, Canadians are a resentful, rotten bunch. I’m sure similar arguments can be made about the USA being a bunch of dumb hicks (I’m looking at you deep south), but no one is denying that. Canadians cultivate a reputation a kindness, while spitting on you when you turn your back.

A few years ago, a friend of mine went to a Sabres/Senators playoff game in Ottawa. The Sens were up 3 games to none and were looking to sweep at home. Many fans brought brooms and poked fun at my friend tapping her with the brooms. All in good fun. Until the Sabres came back and won the game. My friend (a girl) cheered when the Sabres scored an overtime goal to win 3-2, and was promptly attacked by two men. She was hit 4 times resulting in two large bumps on her head, one on her cheek, and a cut on her cheek.

Fast forward to almost any Leafs/Habs/Sens game in which they are playing an American team. They almost ALWAYS boo the US National Anthem. This really bugs me. The Sabres are the only team in the league that plays BOTH national anthems at every game, regardless of the opponent. It is out of respect for the players and the spirit of international competition. And no one ever boos the Canadian anthem.

Fast forward to Vancouver last year. We all know how that went down after the Canucks lost to Boston in the finals. They burned and looted their own city. Canada, keeping it classy.

Last nights Sabres’ game was the last straw. Buffalo always gets lots of Leaf fans in our arena for Toronto games, and last night was no exception. Before the anthems, there was an announced moment of silence for all the fallen veterans of war. The place went dead quiet. Except for many, many Canadians, who took the opportunity to yell and taunt and heckle. Complete and utter lack of respect.

I wanted so badly to boo their national anthem when it started but I held my tongue. Not so much for them when ours came on next.

Sabres ended up winning 6-5 in OT in a crazy roller-coaster of a game. How did the Canadians react? By starting fights, throwing beer, and keying cars.

Canada, please get the fuck out of my country and never come back. You’re not welcome here anymore.

Taylor Tuesday

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012 by Dawn Summers

You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail
And soon enough you’re best friends
Laughing at the other girls who think they’re so cool
We’ll be outta here as soon as we can

And then you’re on your very first date and he’s got a car
And you’re feeling like flying
And you’re momma’s waiting up and you’re thinking he’s the one
And you’re dancing ’round your room when the night ends
When the night ends

‘Cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You’re gonna believe them
When you’re fifteen and your first kiss
Makes your head spin ’round
But in your life you’ll do things greater than
Dating the boy on the football team
But I didn’t know it at fifteen

Happy Genius Day, viejo

Monday, April 2nd, 2012 by Dawn Summers

But I couldn’t conjure tears
We’re too good for stupid angels
Blackness held its breath beside me
And burned the air till it was gone
Till it was gone
Till it was gone

Couldn’t pay my respects to a dead man
Your life was much more to me
And I chased away with sticks and stones
But that rage kept following me
Following Me
Following Me
So lost I was asleep in the palms of your hand
In dreams we were happy and safe
I can’t comprehend the ways I miss you
They come to light in my mistakes

Happy Birthday, Alex

Sunday, April 1st, 2012 by Dawn Summers

It hardly seems like a year has passed since I was terrified to hold the fragile screaming hospital blanket wrapped thirteen hours old infant I met on a not so cold March day… Alas:

image

And to prove that he is indeed his parents’ son:

image

image

Take THAT cupcake!