I took Sammy, my mom and my cousin to see the New York Metropolitans at Citifield yesterday.
He showed up wearing this:
Are. You. Effing. Kidding?
His mom was all “I’m sorry! I didn’t know! I just put on his baseball hat!”
First stop: Mets store.
I kid you not, I told that child to pick a hat he liked, take the one off his head and step on it. He totes liked the stepping on it part. The store clerk found the entire exchange hilarious and gave him a bonus Mets stress ball. When we left, I asked Sammy what we say to the Yankees? He dutifully replied “Booooo.”
“Show me a Yankees face!”
Sadly, the unthinkable happened. As soon as we sat down, Gee gives up a one run homer. The Nationals never looked back and I saw my first live Mets loss in 11 years of going to games! I know this was somehow Fisch’s fault. He’s all “here are awesome front row tickets with a fancy parking pass, Dawn!”
And I’m all “Yay! Thanks Fisch, you’re awesome!”
Then when I leave, and he closes the door behind me, he tents his fingers and says “what you don’t know is that they’re cursed tickets!” And then he and Max laugh evilly while they do the Mickey Mouse dance. #truestory
But cursed or not, the seats were pretty sick. That’s Jason Bay right in front of me.
Know how I know that’s Jason Bay? Cause the six high school guys behind me were heckling him mercilessly THE WHOLE GAME!
“You SUCK JASON!”
“You may be the best baseball player in Canada, but that’s like being the best Jamaican bobsledder!”
“You’re the reason my dad left us, Jason!”
“Bay pees sitting down!”
Then a plastic bag blew onto to the field and they were like:
“Hey Bay! Pick up that bag. We’re paying you enough money and you’re not doing anything else! Might as well clean up the field!”
Then the other one was all “Nah, leave the bag; you go to the bench. I bet that bag gets more outs than you!”
Best part? At one point one of them was like “You’re so gay Jason Bay!” And another guy was like “Nah, man. That’s not cool, there’s nothing wrong with being gay one way or another.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said sheepishly.
“Jason Bay just sucks!”
They laughed and then started mocking Bay with “MVP MVP MVP” chants.
Ah, good times. Good times.