Clareified

Where does the good go

Internal dialogue

I think normal people have internal monologues.

I love that I thought I would cry for a few days, write something thoughtful and reasonable and that would be the end of it. I threw myself on the floor and threw a tantrum for a week and a half when I blew out the tires on my car. Granted, my car was only seven months old, I had, at the last minute, declined tire coverage, AND I BLEW TWO IN ONE DAY ON THE SAME STUPID POTHOLE!!! ARRRGGHHHH!!! Wait, where was I? Oh, right. So… eight days later, I’m still not anywhere near over it.

I sit around thinking that I’m such a terrible person, followed by thinking no I’m not, he is! Was.

Though, I’m having increasingly strange — probably inappropriate thoughts about it now — like… so… does the salutatorian become the valedictorian in the event the valedictorian dies at 34? Um…asking for a friend.

I’ve also convinced myself that I have psychic powers. That whole doomswitch winter of 2010, I knew something terrible was wrong. I thought it was endless stream of bad beats I was suffering in my nascent poker pro career or the whole cancer scare, but I had clearly tapped into something greater. So, now I’m trying to figure out how to get a job as psychic to some low level CW star… Like leighton meester.

Oh, yeah and my football team is going to be playing in a little thing called the Superbowl. I can’t really say anymore right now (spit spit fingers crossed throws salt over both shoulders) but the journey so far as been so unlikely… I’m just closing my eyes real tight and believing as hard as my can. :). (I may or may not have booed Father Robert on Sunday, when he said “Mass has ended, go in peace and Go Giants.”

(Even funnier, for the last few weeks I’ve been sharing a pew with a teenage boy in a Manning jersey. (I’ve been wearing my Patriots’ sweatshirt every week lately.) The first week, the Riots were on bye, so when we had to shake hands during mass, no biggie. The following week, the Riots had already won, and the Giants still had to play Green Bay, so I smiled at him when I shook his hand. However, LAST WEEK, there was this palpable tension in our handshake, like we KNEW!

I’ve been giggling thinking about mass on the fifth – the super day, for those of you not in the know!

6 Responses to “Internal dialogue”

  1. Mary Says:

    Whatever happened to people dressing up for church? My mom would have marched me right back to my room to change if I tried to go to mass in a sweatshirt, lecturing me on respect and whatnot. Guess I’ve been away from religion a long time…

  2. Dawn Says:

    I think these days, they’re just glad to have asses in the seats.

  3. Dawn Says:

    Though they probably wouldn’t use the word asses.

  4. VinNay Says:

    I was thinking the same thing as Mary. I mean, who wears jerseys or sweatshirts to mass? Where do you live, South Boston?

  5. Pearatty Says:

    Man, even the Unitarian Universalists dress up a little for church.

  6. Dawn Says:

    Sheesh, what nazi churches do you people go to? Can you imagine me being part of an organization for 36 years that didn’t allow sweatshirts and sneakers? I went to church in jamaica in shorts and flip flops!

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