Where does the good go

The good, the bad, THE CANADIAN

So, I got home today to the happy sound of  “I have package for you Miss Dawn,” from my stereotypical Mexican doorman, who, frankly, might not be Mexican at all.

“Hooray for packages,” say I in my perfectly normal not-at-all weird way.

I open the first one and I’m all “YAY!! This is awesome!”


Tom Brady doll

Tom Brady AND Dr. Who candy!

I read the note in the box and it’s from none other than Clareified’s 2011 International person of the year: At Ah-stin-toe!

Wow, I think to myself, what an awesome person @astinto is! So not like those other mean White House burning Canadians who run around burning people’s white houses all willy nilly!

This train of thought is interrupted by another train of thought: ooh, I have two more packages!

I open the next one and it’s my value pack of Nyquil, not as exciting, but still pretty good if you’re sneezing, coughing, stuffy… Why am I running free adverts for Nyquil on my blog? Moving on.

So, I open the third package and immediately I boo and hiss:


Alack! This is not awesome and great and now I have grammatically incorrect hockey team cooties on my hands! It will take hours of staring at the NHL League standings to erase the horrors of this moment! What villain would subject me to such an indignity… Albeit an indignity accompanied by delicious candies?

Well, wouldn’t you know, it was Chinese Pete! No, I’m kidding, it was also @astinto! That bastard!

And so it was, I learned a valuable lesson about being lulled into complacency by Canadians! I must warn President Obama to secure the White House! Alas, my mouth is too full of jellied beans to talk right now… Damn you, Astin, ddaaaaaammmnnnnn yyoooouuuuu!!!

4 Responses to “The good, the bad, THE CANADIAN”

  1. Astin Says:

    Ah, that shipping couldn’t have worked out more perfectly. Well, maybe if the Brady doll had shipped with the Leafs air freshener, making Tom Brady smell like the Leafs!

    Now, could somebody tell me what a Tebow is? I keep wanting to look it up, but then it rains delicious jelly beans here.

  2. Pdov Says:

    Wait it rains jelly beans in Canada? I need to move.

  3. Dawn Summers Says:

    YES!! And evidently, they get ice cream flakes instead of snow!

  4. Gib Says:

    Does the Brady doll come with the needles, or are those sold separately?

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