Clareified

Where does the good go

Heaven is a place on earth

The reading this Sunday was a passage from the Olden Times Bible, the wrathy fire and brimstone part. David is chillin in his palace and he’s all victorious in battles and being fed grapes by wenches and he thinks to himself, you know, I should build a temple or something for God, you know, a little shout out for all he’s done for me. And he tells one of his henchmen to write that down and make it happen. Upon seeing David’s to-do list, God — in his wrathy and fire brimstony way — is all “fuck yo, couch, David! Like I need your ole shepard ass to build ME a house! I BUILD THE HOUSES! Your WHOLE LIFE IS MY HOUSE, NEGRO!”

Why is this post shaping up to be Dawn’s Hip Hop Bible Study… anyhoo.

The priest’s homily focused on how we shouldn’t be carving out spaces for God in our lives. It should all be integrated. God should be where we are. Naturally, as it was Sunday afternoon, this got me thinking about Tim Tebow.

I can say this now, because one Thomas Edward Patrick Jr, has vanguished the Broncos and won yet another AFC East championship title, but I like Tim Tebow. He seems, by all accounts, to be a genuinely humble kid of faith. He embraces abstinence and praises Jesus during every interview — not amorphous “God,” but Jesus Jesus. He seems to truly view his whole life — from couldve been aborted fetus to Heismann winner to NFL starting quarterback as a blessing. His on field praying has become a nationwide sensation known as “Tebowing.” And somehow, someway this scrappy Christian boy has taken his team from the cellar of their division to the cusp of a division title. Naturally, the backlash has been swift and harsh.

And I get the hate — Tebow supporters have gone a tad batty with their “GOD FAVORS THE BRONCOS” – As if… every kid knows that pets don’t go to heaven because God hates animals. And I swear, I might punch Skip Bayless in the face if he does one more “I can’t explain Tim Tebow’s awesome” screed and then looks skyward. Douche.

But, on the surface of it, I think Tim Tebow is a positive. He hasn’t become a story because of a sextape, he isn’t a showy athlete all pretending to put on a boxing championship belt for every stupid good play like a stupid moron inferior loser quarterback who gets concussed putting on his helmet. I wish him well and hope he has a great game this sunday. And not just because I’m picking his Broncos in my football pool. Cause that would be gambling and gambling is wrong.

*Whistles*

*Tebows*

3 Responses to “Heaven is a place on earth”

  1. April Says:

    It’s a good thing Tom Brady’s parents threw in that extra name or else he would have ended up as a serial killer.

  2. Dawn Says:

    I bet he’d make a good serial killer too!

  3. Pdov Says:

    Crossing the line Dawn! I like Tebow too and I don’t follow football, much. I agree, if one believes in G-d one shouldn’t leave for just holidays or the Sabbath, it must be an everyday thing. Man that sounds corny, but it’s true.

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