Clareified

Where does the good go

Archive for September, 2011

TV watching as bad as smoking?

Tuesday, September 20th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

Get the hell outta here!

*reaches for the remote*

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Tuesday, September 20th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

Stupid Clinton “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy repealed.

We shoulda totally known something was up with that dude when “don’t ask, don’t tell,” was the first catchphrase of his presidency. *side eye of life*

You guys think *I* hold grudges…

Friday, September 16th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

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I am a saintly doormat compared to this woman!

So…

Thursday, September 15th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

I would send this to my mother as a joke, but I’m pretty sure she would slap me right upside the head on principle.

Canada stockpiling bodies??

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

Japanese woman falls into Niagara Falls, but a man is pulled out!

Who else are they hiding??! #JimmyHoffa

Taylor Tuesday!

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

I got so used to preplanning these, I totally almost forgot! Whew! Near crisis averted!

Oh, a simple complication,
Miscommunications lead to fall-out.
So many things that I wish you knew,
So many walls that I can’t break through.

[Chorus:]
Now I’m standing alone in a crowded room and we’re not speaking,
And I’m dying to know is it killing you like it’s killing me, yeah?
I don’t know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

Next chapter.

All Clareiverse blogs and twitter feeds are back!

Monday, September 12th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

Seriously.

All.

Of.

Them.

My private September 11th

Sunday, September 11th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

My grandfather died on September 11th.

I guess, I should say “a September 11th,” since he died seven years ago in a hospital bed after suffering a second stroke while battling prostate and stomach cancer. Although the final cause of death was cardiac arrest. Yeah, death brought the house to take out my grandpa.

Fuck yo couch, death.

No one read his name today, or started any wars to avenge his passing. My family didn’t get any government money, but today is still the anniversary of his death. In some ways, it seems like forever ago that I got the call from Panama. Yet, I can hardly believe it’s been seven years since he died.

I was very close to my grandpa — not physically, he lived in Panama and I lived in America. My whole life I tried to get him to come visit and each time he would say “what can an old man do in New York? I would be eaten alive.” When I was very little I imagined he meant this literally and I wondered who exactly ate old men in New York. Did this person also eat little girls? I NEEDED INFORMATION!

My grandpa was my very favoritest family member. I visited him in the summers and every day, before sunrise, I would wake up, watch him shave and then take a walk with him through the streets of our Colon neighborhood. I guess I should say “walk.” Mostly, I stood on his feet, wrapped my arms around his leg and he’d swing me around the neighborhood until we made the last stop at a little rickety house on the beach where I’d get a vanilla sugar cone. Yup, ice cream for pre-breakfast!

Everyone we met would greet him with the same “Buenas, SeƱor Enri.” Some would ask who I was, I’d bury my face in his knees and he’d say I was his granddaughter from New York. If he wanted me to speak to them, he would shake his head and ask “who is who? I’m the only one here!” And then I would look up and say “she means me, grandpa!” (Yes, he only did this routine with the ladies.) And he would act all surprised that I was there, scratch his head and say “who are you?! How long have you been living on my leg?”

My grandpa was hilarious.

Apparently, as a father and husband, he could be cruel and unfaithful. As a businessman, well, he was known as “Vegas,” for reasons I still know better than to ask, and I’m guessing it’s no coincidence that he could get the ice cream guy to open at 5 in the morning. But he embraced the second act of life, that as grandfather, with his whole person. The other day, I was driving my mom and aunt around on their Sunday errands. My adult twin cousins were also in the car. The two women started complaining about my grandpa and within one minute, the three second generationers jumped to his defense.

“HEY! You will not speak ill of my grandfather. I will turn this car right around.”
“Yeah, our grandpa was awesome!,” my cousin chimed in.

Although, I would have preferred if she had said “Dawn’s grandpa, who I was occasionally allowed to share,” I definitely echoed her sentiment.

When my grandmother suddenly died (I still maintain she planned that just to ruin my 21st birthday.) everyone worried that he would die soon after. I knew better, and sure enough, he lived another 8 years. I saw him a year before he died and he asked me to buy the suit he would be buried in. I got it for him the next day and he said “I didn’t mean now!” But he hung it in his closet.

I never saw that suit again — the funeral home said the cancer and chemo had eaten away at his body too much for an open casket.

I miss my phone calls with him and watching baseball games with him in his living room — I get my strong swearing-at-the-television game from him.

He was a giant force in my family, so with or without the relentless media blitz, I will remember and mourn every September 11th.

Taylor Tuesday

Tuesday, September 6th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

Today’s Taylor Tuesday is dedicated to and starring my cousins, niece, nephews, fake nephew and all the kids in the Clareiverse.


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The wait is almost over

Friday, September 2nd, 2011 by Dawn Summers