If the Patriots had a song…

I’d be singing that shit all morning!
Patriots sign the big man Albert Haynesworth!
De-Fense! De-Fense! De-Fense!
Combined with the heft of Wilfork, hide yo nose, hide yo linebackers cause the Patriots will be tackling errybody out there!
July 28th, 2011 at 11:35 am
If you want to call this defense, OK, I guess.
July 29th, 2011 at 12:51 am
My new boss is a Patriots fan . . . HUGE Patriots fan. He kept talking about Haynesworth.
Then I told him about you.
For some stupid reason, he now wants to meet you.
July 29th, 2011 at 8:15 am
Um, I’m guessing it’s because of all the awesome. Duh.
July 30th, 2011 at 11:43 pm
Ummmm, I guess so. I made him read your Toronto Birthday trip report. He thinks you’re HI-larious.
I am now rethinking my most recent career decision . . .
July 31st, 2011 at 1:45 am
Why? Patriots fans who think I am hilarious are THE BEST!
July 31st, 2011 at 2:56 pm
Just so you know, he told me that he’s going to marry Tom Brady . . . So he’s now in direct competition with you for the love and affection of Mr. Giselle.
Consider that before you jump to conclusions about how awesome he is . . .
July 31st, 2011 at 10:06 pm
Listen, I am open to sharing tom brady in any capacity.