Clareified

Where does the good go

Archive for June, 2011

I challenge June to a battle to the death!

Thursday, June 30th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

Meet me at midnight!

An open letter about marriage equality

Wednesday, June 29th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

From me to them.

One love, One Hart…

Tuesday, June 28th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

…let’s get together and feel all right.

williamsharlot

My adorable little purloined sister, Smokey got all married!

(Now, this may or may not have happened in April, but as we rapidly approach the Dawn Summers birthday season and poor Smokey will find herself with no birthday AGAIN, I thought we’d take this opportunity to quit being a blog slacker!)

Smokey’s wedding was SOOOOOOOOOO CCUUTTTEEE! Pretty much imagine the funnest birthday party you could think of when you were eight AND ADD AN OPEN BAR! AWWW YEEAAHHH!!! It was also perfect because it was snowing in Brooklyn and when I landed in Phoenix, 6 hours after I took off from JFK, it was NINETY-SEVEN DEGREES! I was greeted at the airport by the smashingly handsome Pearatty boys:

boyd

Mayor Pearatty was all “yeah, Wygant saw you and started to cry ‘no daddy, don’t let the mean lady drop me on my head again‘.” WAAAAAA!!! ONE TIME! You drop a baby on his head ONE TIME and he never let’s you forget it!
#HMMPPHH

I met up with the wedding party at the pre-wedding manicure/pedicure party…Mayor Pearatty was having NO part of spaing and he pretty much drove by the entrance and told me to jump out of the truck as he sped by. I got to practice my mad action hero skillz!

Not only did I get treated to a fancy Phoenix manicure, BUT my manicurist was a Patriots fan! And so was the other woman getting a manicure. It was like Foxboro West! We then went to a rooftop rehearsal dinner before ducking out for the bachelorette party.
princesssar
At the end of the night, (Pearatty and I left early because we are old) Pearatty left young Smokey with a valuable piece of advice, which if I remember it correctly was “la la la la I can’t hear you!” THAT IS OUR *LITTLE* SISTER YOU ARE TALKING TO, WOMAN!
Sheesh. Arizona!

But I’m getting ahead of myself. I was trying to remember when I actually met Smokey, but I am getting old and remembering isn’t as easy as it used to be. However, my earliest memory of Smokey takes place in Las Vegas, in a time before I played poker, so I was actually hanging out and socializing with people and stuff.

CRAZY, right?

Stupid poker.

We were there for Pearatty’s bachelorette party and Smokey was telling an awesome story about how she had a flag cake for one of her birthdays when she was a little girl. Curious, I was all “why’d you have a flag cake.” And she said because her birthday was close to the Fourth of July.

And I firmly remember thinking “aw, what a shame that this poor girl just lost her birthday to my season.” But she was SO nice that I decided I would give her a replacement birthday, some time in November.

I know, I know, my generosity knows no bounds.

But Smokey took the loss like a trooper and embraced her new Fall birthday without any tears or complaints and she has been our adorable little sister ever since! (What? You don’t believe me? They had an awesome family tree at the wedding: familytree

AND Seee:

meee

So’s your face!

Yet further proof that we’re totally related, the wedding reception was a huge pizza party with a million ice cream cakes! Um…there was also white wine involved, so sadly I do not have any pictures of the ice cream cakes and pizza. But I spent a couple of days after the wedding in Phoenix and I think we had pizza and ice cream for every meal for 72 hours straight. #truestory

And now I have an adorable purloined little brother-in-law, who has already proven invaluable in finding me an ipod charger AND promised me cappuccinos.
sharwill
Wygant also approves. And he’s a genius.


Photo SharingVideo SharingPhoto Printing

Know how I know he’s a genius? He already knows who the bestest quarterback of all time is:

patswyn

Congratulations! And, again, so sorry about your birthday!

P.S. Can you tell Wygant I would like my nose back? KayThnxBye

It’s totally the birthday season NOW!

Tuesday, June 28th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

Thanks Tae! I got the hint. Check the blog tomorrow. :)

I was jamming to this song all day yesterday. Mostly because I got to sing “it’ll be my birthday soon” over and over again.

Also, because I changed to words to “It’s raining now! Raining on Stephane Clare.”

I’m funny.

I wrote you a letter and I sent it on the first of July
Now it’s November and still I haven’t no reply
It’ll be my birthday soon, if I don’t see you I’ll survive
But I would be happy, if you’d let me know you’re still alive

I still live on Jocelyn Square, nothing much has really changed
I still think about you, but only really when it rains
Sometimes you don’t know something’s open till it shuts
I loved you so much, I hated your guts

You blinded me I refused to see your doubt

It’s raining now
Raining on Jocelyn Square
It’s raining now
Raining on Jocelyn Square

Do goody white people are HEE-LARIOUS

Monday, June 27th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

But, no, seriously I need more white people to do this type of stuff AND post it on youtube.

Please? Thanks!

Via the brilliant kids at Blacking it Up

HUZZAH!!!

Monday, June 27th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

It’s F-train’s birthday! YAY!

Happy birthday season to me!!

Oh…wait…or is that tomorrow? Pout.

Stupid June.

I SO almost killed myself like this on Friday!

Sunday, June 26th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

I’ve probably got to go register at a police station now because I am so funny.

God hates having to repeat himself…

Sunday, June 26th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

But he WILL!

Happy Friday, ladies and germs

Friday, June 24th, 2011 by Dawn Summers

That’s better! Have a good weekend.

Not so random thought

Thursday, June 23rd, 2011 by Dawn Summers

VinNay does NOT fully appreciate my comic genius. So, I’m taking my talents to South Beach.