Where does the good go

Because I’ll look back on this and…um…laugh?

So, the woman that opens up the office just kinda generally gets there before 7. Sometimes 6:40, sometimes 6:45, etc.

I try to get there as soon as it’s open, so I can be Audi 5000 as soon as possible. (Do the kids still say Audi 5000?)

Of course, I have to time my arrival so that it’s after the lady with the keys, otherwise I’m chilling at 6:40 AM and not getting paid for it. Not awesome.

So I aim for 6:55. This generally gets me there between 6:50 and 7:03. The last few days I’ve been nailing the 6:50. So, I sign in 6:50, cause the computer rounds up anyway. The key lady signs in 6:40, 6:30, whatever she does. One time this other lady beat me and she signed in 6:47. Honestly, like I said, at week’s end it DOESN’T EVEN MATTER.

Sure enough, I get in at 6:50 and sign in accordingly. At 8:10 when Douchezilla strolls in, she knocks on my door and says “Dawn, the office is not open till 7. I know Lucy gets here a little earlier to open, but you can’t start till 7.”


Dude. Whatever, right. I suppress my gag and eye rolling reflexes and the urge to say “oh please go report me for being early!”

And carry on about my day. Yesterday, I also discovered that despite my computer issues, I’m still working faster than everyone else on the project. Since I have decided I will no longer speak to this woman, whenever I move to a new matter, I leave her a note (dated with time) saying: I finished x,y and z. And sign it.

“Suck on that, loser,” is left implied.

This afternoon, she bursts into my office and goes “Dawn, did you take my pen when you left your note?”

She had wide, glaring accusing eyes. I stood up, snatched my pen off my desk and said “No. I wrote the note with this pen.”

I was seriously ready to Fight. Her.

My officemate steps between us and goes “I’m sorry, Crackwhore, it was me.” He gives her back her pen.

I am still standing. She says “oh, I’m sorry.”

“Your apology is accepted,” I reply breathing straight fire from my nose and ears.

She starts play “hitting” my officemate with the pen.
“Don’t do that again! Tee hee.”

I turn the volume up on my podcast.

Operation “Infect with bedbugs” is a GO!

Wait, unless Crystal’s got something better!

12 Responses to “Because I’ll look back on this and…um…laugh?”

  1. Crystal Says:

    I’m thinking… I’m thinking

  2. Dawn Summers Says:

    LOL! Thiiiinnnnkkkkkk!

  3. Pearatty Says:

    Is the guy who actually took the pen white? Or just not African-American? I would complain to HR that your supervisor accused you of stealing based apparently on nothing other than the color of your skin.

    Seriously, that really does ring my racist bell.

  4. Pearatty Says:

    No. Seriously.

  5. Dawn Summers Says:

    We have a black President now. We’re post racial. And other stuff you say when all the parties are black.

  6. April Says:

    I’m with Pearatty. Psycho has it out for you for some unknown reason, and jumping to accuse you of stealing a pen? Also, a freakin pen? Was it magical? Does this office only give you one pen and if you lose it you have to then beg for another?

  7. Smokey Says:

    So… office mate is a dude? I’m going with sexist. Seriously. I’ve been in some pretty crazy females-get-territorial office situations. It’s always worse when you’re good at your job, too.

  8. Smokey Says:

    Oh and Mr. Smokey totally agrees. He says gender based discrimination!

  9. Pearatty Says:

    Yep. Gender based. There you go. Seriously, she’s a self hating black woman.

  10. Dawn Summers Says:

    Who isn’t?! It’s the “Dawn hating black woman,” I’ve got a serious problem with.

  11. Astin Says:

    It’s a good thing someone ‘fessed up fast. Otherwise you’d all be locked in a room in your underwear accusing one another of pen-stealing, when all along it was Troy’s monkey.

  12. Dawn Summers Says:

    Hahaha… I loved their dinner with abed, dinner with andre episode, so much!

    But no, if he hadn’t fessed up, there would have been a fight.

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