On that horrible horrible day when the very bad bad thing happened in Foxboro, I told Ugarles he could host his fortieth birthday at my apartment.
So I had like a BBQ on the balcony and Kearns and Alceste were gonna come, I invited a couple of other people, but it wasn’t really my party.
Anyway, five minutes after kick off, Kearns texts me “good luck I hope you lose.”
So I assume that meant he wasn’t coming and he didn’t. #rude
About an hour after the game ended, he shows up all laughing and making fun of Wes Welker.
I am highly highly highly annoyed.
So he goes “aw, but I brought you your favorite ice cream”
I give him this face: O_o
He goes into the kitchen and when he comes out he’s eating ice cream out of this giant Jets glass.
I pay him no mind, but like 30 minutes later, I’m all “give me my ice cream!”
And he goes “I ate it.”
Now, I’m all “WHAT?!”
He goes “You’re a sore loser. So I ate it.”
So I tell Ugarles “Dude! Kearns brought me ice cream. Then poured it out into a Jets glass, sat at my table and ate it all!”
Ugarles looks me right in the face and goes “That is an upset.”