Clareified

Where does the good go

Archive for December, 2010

Too damn funny

Monday, December 20th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

“You just fucked up! YOU FUCKED UP!”
hahahahaahahahahahah

via Petitedov

First, they burn our White House…

Saturday, December 18th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

And now this!

And that’s when I discovered that my good friend Pearatty, on whose couch I spent many a weekend during my awful Connecticut clerkship, whose baked goods I have consumed for almost ten years is ACTUALLY CANADIAN! Well, her mom was born in Canada, so she can be a Canadian citizen. Same with Wygant’s dad, his mom was also born in Canada. I don’t know how exactly, but Astin is to blame for this.

I called Pearatty’s sister and she drove down from Flagstaff.

“Have you heard this madness! They are trying to take our Wygant to Canadia! CANADIA! He’s going to talk funny, spell words wrong and think football has three downs!”

She had heard. We set about designing “Operation Wygant Repatriation.”

Step 1: Teach Wygant to bite mommy.

The holiday spirit

Friday, December 17th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

Taking a minute out of my closet wallowing to link this wonderful post.

Who’s got two thumbs

Wednesday, December 15th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

and is unemployed again?

But hey, I could be dead.

I’ll be sucking my thumb in the back of my closet until 2011. Merry Christmas/Happy New Year.

via Ken Wheaton

Unwatchable

Tuesday, December 14th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

F-train and I found ourselves with some time to kill on Monday afternoon and decided to partake of a picture show at the Orleans casino. I suggested Harry Potter, but evidently, F-train is NOT the twelve-year-old girl we all suspected him to be. We ran through a list of the other options out loud at In-N-Out Burger and when we got to “Unstoppable” with Denzel Washington, the woman at the table next to us apologized for butting in “but that movie is terrific.”

F-train and I were both skeptical, but we put an imaginary pin in it and moved down the list of other options. I was into “Next Three Days,” he wasn’t. He wanted “Black Swan,” but Las Vegas doesn’t offer Indie movies.

“Well, let’s go over to the theater and see what’s playing.”

“Okay.”

We got there at 3:10.

“Well, Megamind is at 4:30…Unstoppable is starting now…”

Okay then!

“I hope the theater is empty,” he says, “that’d be awesome.”

There was a couple already inside.

“Nope. Two other people are here…and two minutes ago it was awesome for them!”

“Eh. If it can’t be awesome for us, why should it be awesome for them?”

When he’s right, he’s right.

Except, since we were there to see Unstoppable, the truth is, it wasn’t going to be awesome for anybody.

Some say this movie is “Speed with trains.” Those people are stupid. Do you remember Jaws? How no one was sure what the threat was exactly and then the Mayor was all “no, we’re not ruining the Fourth of July Holiday!” But then they realize the shark was super dangerous and send a bunch of men out on the water to kill it? And then there’s 85 minutes of boring old men conversation out on the ocean and then a final 20 minutes of Jaws killing a bunch of people and then the survivors floating on a plank back to shore?

Well, this movie is that 85 minutes of Jaws. With trains.

Denzel plays this old crotchety old man who has gone to the acting school of cave echoes. You know the school “Son, do you think your training has prepared you for this? DO YOU?” Followed by “I have 28 years on these tracks! 28 YEARS”

And so you kinda wish you were alone in the theater so you can shout “THIS SUCKS” and hopefully hear a cacophony of agreement echo back at you too.

Sigh.

Yeah, so. There’s a runaway train. Of course it’s filled with toxic chemicals! And there’s another train full of school children! Um. And then you’re suddenly back in 4th grade and there’s a train traveling toward Stanton at 70 miles an hour and a tug train chasing it at 50 miles per hour and how bad do you have to be at math to not roll your eyes when Denzel catches it and hitches the tug to the runaway train just as they tear through the deadly Stanton S curve? Answer is D. Oy.

F-train and I were laughing and audibly booing the screen. Audibly.

Song of the day

Tuesday, December 14th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

Sometimes, wish I knew life with no pain, yeah
Wish I held the keys to this game
Sometimes, I pretend cuz I’m afraid to be, afraid to be

Sometimes, I wish I didn’t try so hard
Sometimes, who knows truth any way
They don’t know nothing, who needs that approval

AWWWW

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

I barely just finished updating my amazon wishlist for Christmas and Alceste and Dawn already sent me a present!

Thanks guys!

Short and sweet

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

Pearatty was supposed to do poetry Wednesday today. However, I think she’s trying to teach me a lesson about liking people even though they’re not perfect.

She clearly hasn’t read my tweet about what kind of student I am.

Anyway, in a pinch, I provide you with a little Robert Frost. This opens the new-to-DVD movie Twilight: Eclipse. And I love it. The poem, not the movie. NEVER watch that movie.

I think the answer is ice.

In my experience as long as there is fire: whether from passion or anger, there is feeling. Emotion. Life. When that dies out. There’s nothing. And that’s the end.

Fire and Ice
by Robert Frost

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Oh yes, I slept like a baby last night too

Tuesday, December 7th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

45-3! THREEEEEE!!! I said I was gonna drink a shot for every Sanchez touchdown pass. *Crickets* Who needs AA when Sanchez is your quarterback?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Meanwhile, as @whymelawd said on twitter, Tom Brady was doing it Oprah style: And you get a touchdown! And you get a touchdown! And you get a touchdown!

LOL!

Welcome to Patriots nation, Wygant. And Happy Birthday, Pearatty, you’re welcome to join us!

To be the best, we’ve gotta beat…The Jets?!?!!!

Monday, December 6th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

Huh.

Well…

Football was so boring this weekend. I could not have cared any less about all 14 games AND I totally forgot the Eagles played on Thursday night. Sorry waitress who asked me yesterday what the score was and I said “they don’t play till tonight.” But in my defense, who cares about the Eagles?

Tonight, is the first playoff game of the season! Well, okay, maybe last night’s Steelers game was also a playoff game. But I reiterate my defense, but this time insert “Steelers.”

The Patriots vs. The Jets! Monday night! My stomach is all a twitter! But truth be told, the Patriots are in control of their own fate now. The ball is literally in our court. Tom Brady is at the helm, Belichick in his ear on a snowy New England night in Foxboro. I could ask for more, but that’d just make me a greedy ass mofo.

I spent the weekend with the cutest baby in Christendom:

We talked about the upcoming Monday night matchup, and he assures me I have nothing to worry about. (Yes, he’s a HE, despite his mama dressing him in girl pajamas in this video. Sheesh.)


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