Clareified

Where does the good go

I’m a bad mother….. shut your mouth

It’s weird.
Growing up, probably through most of law school in fact, I was pretty certain that I was not a good person.
Moral, loyal, generous, mostly honest, but not *good.*
My “code” as it were, was your standard combo “do unto others as they do unto you” and “do not leave a paper trail.”
Ok, I just made that second one up.
But definitely, the first one.
My relationships mostly consisted of complicated ledgers, which totally resulted in my doing lots of nice things, but also lots of not so nice things, so that can’t rightly be classified as “good.” I was an accountant. Neutral *at best*!
But then somebody somewhere somehow convinced me that a person who readily admits that she is not good, might actually be really good, if not the best of all.
I probably do not need to tell you the person who convinced me of this, was me.
But now I can add “persuasive” to my lengthy list of positive attributes!
I can’t exactly tell you what led to this latest epiphany, but I know this incident was part of it.
I was watching this professional poker player on TV. He is in his mid forties and is one of the most accomplished tournament players in the business. However, he’s not so good at cash games and gets mercilessly needled about it.
On this particular day, he was playing exceptionally well. And then he got very unlucky and ended up losing almost a hundred thousand dollars on one hand. Angry about losing to this punk kid, who mocked him for being so bad, even though it was the kid who had made a mistake but gotten lucky, the player calls the kid stupid. In turn, the kid, in classic playground style goes “no, you’re stupid!”
And then the exchange takes a left turn into crazytown.
“You’re a bad winner, son,” the pro says.
Understandably, the kid is taken aback.
“How am I a bad winner? You called me stupid first!”
“And I was out of line and shouldn’t have done that. Now you need to own up to your bad behavior. That’s what men do.”
Holy entrapment, Batman! #NoOcho
Could he be right? If you can provoke someone into the gutter with you, doesn’t that make them dirty?
And makes my standard “but I didn’t start it!” way less exonerating.
Right?
I don’t know.
What I do know is I won’t change. So if I’m bad because I will not hesitate to repay bad in kind, then so be it.
I’m bad.
And I want one of these.
*Puffs imaginary cigarette in the girl’s room at recess* (Yeah, recess, I’m bad…not truant!)

2 Responses to “I’m a bad mother….. shut your mouth”

  1. F-Train Says:

    Good to see you posting frequently to stephaneclare.com

  2. Dawn summers Says:

    Shut your face.

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