Clareified

Where does the good go

Facing fears

I couldn’t sleep.
I watched episodes of “The Vampire Diaries” until my laptop battery died.
I stared at the ceiling of our Rapid City motel for what seemed like hours. But when I slipped out of bed to check my fantasy football scores on my Droid, I saw it had only been nineteen minutes.
Fuck.
I surfed the internet for a bit, but had to stay off twitter lest I come across True Blood spoilers and had to murder someone.
I scratched my cheek. I felt a bump.
Hmm.
My arms started to itch.
Oh. My. God.
Bedbugs!
Mary was sound asleep in the other bed. I’m pretty sure if I start screaming she’ll bludgeon me to death with her fists.
But…but…
I felt another one bite my leg! My head was itching too.
I scratched and scratched. I turned on the Droid flashlight and scoured under the covers.
I saw one slip under a crease just out of the light stream!
I ripped all the bedding off! Mary be damned! In fact, I’m saving all of our lives right now!
I swept the light across my disheveled bed… Nothing.
I went to the bathroom and washed my face and arms. I shook out the sheets and climbed back into bed.
It was already five am.
I shut my eyes.
I heard the water running. Sunlight was streaming into the room.
I opened an eye.
7:25.
I felt something on my arm. I pulled the cover back slowly and  saw the teeny black intruder. I kept perfectly still and then with one swift motion, I brought my right hand down on it…HARD!
Gotcha!
I looked at the body. I didn’t see any legs. But I would show Mary! I killed my tormentors…hmm…no guts or blood either. Bed bugs are some funny…hmm..
I touched the body.
Um.
Yeah…it was a piece of one of my own braids.
But I had murdered it! Murdered it but good!
Also, I blame Ken Wheaton for this.

3 Responses to “Facing fears”

  1. Grange95 Says:

    But how can you be sure that a whole nest of bedbugs didn’t take up residence in your braids overnight? Huh? Think on that during your ride across South Dakota ….

  2. Dawn Summers Says:

    My current theory is invisible bed bugs.

  3. Pi Says:

    Eric and Sooki have a nest of bat-babies, one of whom becomes Batman. Oh, and Nina is the mole and the mother dies on the first season of 24. Remember THAT!???

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