Clareified

Where does the good go

Archive for August, 2010

Not so random question

Friday, August 20th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

Where does the New York Post think Roger Clemens is going to go if he is convicted? The jail in the monopoly board game?

clemens

In related news, if Clemens is convicted the New York Metropolitans better be awarded the 2000 World Series championship.

This is NOT funny

Friday, August 20th, 2010 by Dawn Summers


News Reporter goes Crazy!! Funny as hell!

JP | MySpace Video

And by some indication, they mean *every*

Friday, August 20th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

Man falls while waiting to get on ride.

Police Sgt. Rick Martinez says the man was with friends when he put a leg over the railing, joked about the chance of someone falling over — then lost his balance and fell.

Martinez says there are some indications that the man had been drinking.

Children of the corn (by guest blogger Tito)

Tuesday, August 17th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

I had to read The Hollow Men in high school, and didn’t think about T. S. Eliot again for a long time.

Then I decided I wanted to read The Waste Land, so I got a collection of his stuff. I started with the shortest things, because I’m lazy- this was the first one I read.

I love it so, so much.

It’s hilarious and oozes contempt and suggests to me one of those weird moments where time freezes and you see everything in your life as if for the first time. And did I mention that it’s short?

I love Prufrock and some of the others, but this is the one I keep coming back to.

The Boston Evening Transcript
by T. S. Eliot

The readers of the Boston Evening Transcript
Sway in the wind like a field of ripe corn.

When evening quickens faintly in the street,
Wakening the appetites of life in some
And to others bringing the Boston Evening Transcript,
I mount the steps and ring the bell, turning
Wearily, as one would turn to nod good-bye to Rochefoucauld,
If the street were time and he at the end of the street,
And I say, “Cousin Harriet, here is the Boston Evening Transcript.”

Tito is a Grammy nominated pie genius. Bet you didn’t know they give those out for pies, did you? You’re welcome.

Lady Talk: On Being a Bitch

Monday, August 16th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

[Lady Talk is written by guest blogger Angela. Most of topics will be of interest to women. Guys can avert their eyes or grab a pen and take notes on our secrets.]

For a while now I’ve been trying to psyche myself up into becoming a bitch. So far, it hasn’t worked. I continue on being agreeable and accommodating, watching outright damn bitches being given exactly what they want.

Why is it that this works? People don’t necessarily like bitches. Everybody should be nice to everybody all the time, right? Not likely that’s going to happen, especially if people are determined to get their way. In my 36 years of life, niceness hasn’t gotten me too far. I lay awake at night, plagued by general dissatisfaction. Those wenches who stomp their feet and scream their heads off, they sleep like little babies, having gotten everything they demanded.

Here are a few simple, almost trivial examples of how being a bitch worked for a few psycho females:

Case #1: there is this crazy woman at my work (well there are a lot of crazy people at my work, but let’s focus on the one). She’s evidently been a troublemaker for years, yet she continually gets whatever she wants. She transferred offices recently to another location and wanted her desk to be transported. She was told no, as it is not company policy to move furniture from different locations and there is no money in the budget to do so. She bitched. She complained. She argued with our boss at a staff meeting. She threatened the office manager that she would go to the top boss. Over a freaking desk. Guess what happened? That office manager, who is currently going through dialysis for failing kidneys, transported that desk personally in the back of his van. If she had said, “Oh, okay, I’m sure whatever desk is at the new office will suffice,” she wouldn’t have gotten what she wanted. But she threw a big fat hissy fit and got the damn desk.

Case #2: my boyfriend’s good friend invited him to a Friday night concert. Three days prior to the event, the friend dropped a hint how his wife would be all alone because their daughter would be at the grandparents for the weekend. My boyfriend politely ignored that hint. Day of, the friend called and said the wife was coming. My boyfriend, to save face for his friend, and because there’s no way in hell he wanted her as a third wheel on his guys’ night out, told the friend he had to work late and couldn’t make it. Do you know what the wife did (after most likely nagging the hell out of her husband all week to come along)? She sent a text message to my boyfriend, scolding him, saying that he let them down by not going! The NERVE! But hey, she got what she wanted, didn’t she? And managed to blame someone else in the process. Bonus!

I can’t imagine doing either one of those things, ever ever ever, or many of the far worse things that I hear women do. But then again, sometimes I find it hard to imagine getting everything I want. Maybe I need a touch of bitchiness to facilitate my happiness? It seems to work for others. Why can’t it work for me?

The truth is though, I’m not a bitch, and probably never will be. While I do have a bit of harsh side buried in me, I tamp it down at every possible occurrence. I’m thinking now, perhaps I could take a little tip from these wretched women, learn to be more forceful and let my fierceness shine through once in a while. So often as women we want to please others: parents, friends, lovers, bosses, children. Somewhere along the line, though, we lose sight of the thing that should matter more: pleasing ourselves. I would never want to be like the extreme shrews I’ve described above, because really, even though they are getting what they want, they probably aren’t pleasantly enjoying it. But I would like to learn to ask for (or take) what I want, in certain appropriate instances.

So where’s the balance? Is there a way that we can get what we want without screeching our way to it? Because if there is, I haven’t yet found it. Have you?

And just like that, they’re on the list

Friday, August 13th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

So my mom meets Sidney Star ONE TIME and ever since FOR WEEKS AND MONTHS it’s all:
“How’s that pretty boy that was here?”
“He’s soo smart.”
“Remember how he knew where his Grandma lived?”
“He talks just like a big boy!”

Look woman, I AM YOUR child! I totally know where my grandma lived! And who talks more like a big boy than ne? Well, you know what I mean!

Hmph.

Also, most hilariously, she loves Pearatty’s son’s name, so she has now created this super baby that looks and talks like Ugarles‘ kid, but is named like Pearatty’s kid. All of which to say, now I have to fight them both.

Rude mommy stealing babies.

2010-08-01_16-10-33_307

Read Justin Cronin’s The Passage?

Friday, August 13th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

Wanna discuss it in the comment section? I do. Okay, it’s not a movie, but I don’t have a books tag. And Alceste says they’re making a movie. I think the girl from Serenity should play Amy.

Sigh

Friday, August 13th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

Twitter book club didn’t quite pan out.

Sad.

Everything sucks all the time and then you die.

Did I say sigh already?

I hope I get thanked in the credits for this movie*

Friday, August 13th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

via April “doesn’t link to me, but whatever, I don’t care. Who needs to be linked by her anyway? I didn’t even notice. I certainly didn’t click on the I’m Awesome link thinking it was me” Kyle

*Oh my GAWD, DAWN. You are the worst fucking hiatuser EVER. If I catch your ass on the net again, after today, before September, I’m beating you with a bat. -Stephane

Really Will Arnett and Amy Poehler? REALLY?

Thursday, August 12th, 2010 by Dawn Summers

You name a little boy, who has a brother that is not even TWO years older than he is, ABEL??

ABEL?!

Why don’t you just bash the little bugger’s head in yourselves?

Really!