Birthday F.A.Q
I have so many presents to open! But it’s not my birthday (contrary to what stupidfaced Vinnay thinks! He’s SO ON THE LIST!) and that would be wrong. Plus, I got an early present today…Jamie has given me Zac Efron! Which is pretty darn awesome! And possibly unconstitutional, but whatever, yay me! Thanks Jamie! However, there is a question that often comes up on the eve of my birthday. I will address that question now.
Dawn’s birthday is tomorrow and I didn’t get her anything, I’m totally freaking OUT! What should I do?
Relax. The most important thing is that you NOT PANIC.
Okay, well the most important thing is that you remembered before Friday. I shudder at the fate of those who don’t remember before Friday. Those poor bastards.
But that’s not you, you’re totally good and only moderately screwed.
Luckily for you, Dawn is a caring and benevolent ruler. And like all such rulers, Dawn wants to help you celebrate the wonderfulness of her.
Tomorrow is a good time to blog about Dawn, tweet about Dawn, leave lengthy and hilarious facebook wall posts about and for Dawn.
Say you have a blog, and you are in Toronto…ask yourself do I blogroll Dawn’s poker blog?
Or, if you have a blog and you are in Las Vegas. You may blogroll Dawn, but is she first? You may blogroll Dawn’s poker blog, but does it list “Dawn + X” as authors? Or worse “X+ Dawn”? Tomorrow would be the perfect day to update and cleanup these blogroll boo boos.
Are you on twitter?
Tomorrow would be a great time to do a #FRDS that’s right a “Follow RealDawnSummers.”
Are you not on twitter? Tomorrow would be the perfect day to join. And follow @realdawnsummers, tweet me happy birthday (Something like “Happy Birthday, @realdawnsummers will work) and then never log in again. Dawn is just padding her stats. Also, if you could get @conanobrien to follow me, that’d be clutch!
If you are F-train, you can drink lots and then tweet general observations for the rest of the day because that would be epic and really, would be a gift for all of twitter. See how generous, I am? Even on this, the eve of my birthday, I think of the good of the collective. Wait, that sounds a little commie. I think of the good of the collective, but in a capitalist way. Send me a dollar.
Better.
You can text and BBM hilarious jokes, touching memories of Dawn through the years, and/or send awesome pictures throughout the day. Oh, except you, you need to not ever text me again. Or e-mail. Eyeroll.
Also, if you have Tom Brady’s cellphone number, tomorrow would be an awesome day to give that to me. I swear, I’ll only use it on Saturdays during the football season! Pinky swear! That’s the most binding of swears!
Securing a President Obama press conference shoutout would also be pretty boss. President Clinton issued a Happy Birthday proclamation for me in 1996. I wonder if that’s binding for all future and past Presidents?!
I bet it is!
OMG Abraham Lincoln wished me Happy Birthday! WOW. Everyday my awesomeness simply grows and grows!
Oh, I’m sorry, I got distracted. This post is not about me, it’s about you.
You can also take this opportunity to trip my enemies. Or, if you are my enemy (looking at you Grange and Ken Wheaton) go ahead and trip yourselves. Twitpics or it didn’t happen.
Oh and comment comment comment! Tis the comments that feed the beast! Er…the awesome. The comments feed the awesome. Damn autocorrect.
So be of good cheer! There is plenty of time to be part of my born day celebrations!
So let’s get out there, have fun and win!
Or whatever Invictus was about.
And now for your moment of Zen:
July 7th, 2010 at 1:14 am
You’re going to get something from me for your birthday.
#TWSS
July 7th, 2010 at 4:21 am
You should have wished I had been drinking more tonight. Because then you probably would have gotten some scathing general observations about life. Instead I shuffled along as one of Argonauts L-Z.
I already have a different birthday gift for you, btw.
July 7th, 2010 at 8:52 am
For your birthday, I’m going to pretend to care enough to leave a comment here.
There.
Don’t spend it all in one place.
July 7th, 2010 at 9:07 am
My birthday is TOMORRROW! And you WILL trip yourself! And record it. And post it, to my attention, on twitter.
July 7th, 2010 at 9:34 am
BBM? WTF year is this?
July 7th, 2010 at 9:39 am
You have *seen* my phone, right?
July 7th, 2010 at 10:03 am
That was pretty darn cute! More baby pictures. #suckerforthose
July 7th, 2010 at 10:06 am
I was NOT a baby! I was a BIG GIRL!
July 7th, 2010 at 10:09 am
@Ftrain YAY! TWO Presents. (That’s right. Poker Vibe is still going down tomorrow!)
July 7th, 2010 at 10:24 am
Hmmm. I have a tribute post and a present. But then I see that I didn’t warrant mention in this post. That is despite my ability to christen your new blogs with FIRST EVER comments and giving you continual banter via the twitter. I continually make gay Ftrain jokes. Hell, I even called you darth vader yesterday and you didn’t even blink.
Somehow you just managed to make YOUR birthday all about ME.
You’re Welcome.
-Chilly
July 7th, 2010 at 10:28 am
I thought I blocked you.
July 7th, 2010 at 10:30 am
Also, go ahead and trip yourself.
July 7th, 2010 at 11:01 am
Happy Bday Dawn!
I just added you to my home page as a gift to you. Expect hundreds of more hits per day now!
Have a good one.
July 7th, 2010 at 11:07 am
Wait, your birthday is coming up? Why the hell didn’t you say anything! You know, I’m pretty quick, even a subtle hint would have been enough to remind me. But NOOOOOOOO, you just spring this on everyone the day before it happens!
And if someone in Toronto was to add your poker blog, what then? Your Scrabble blog? Your Liberace blog? Your football blog? Your Why Astin is So Awesome blog? Would it ever end? I think not… that’s one slippery slope there.
Anyway, I have plans for a gift for you. But I’m not sending it until next week, so it will still be fresh in your mind when I get to NYC.
July 7th, 2010 at 11:10 am
hahaha @schaubs Thanks! @astinto hee heee I know, I know. I’m sorry, but I am a very shy and private person. I hate to impose my one little month and a half long celebration on everybody. Also is it a caramel cake? Is it? Is it? A cake? A caramel one?
July 7th, 2010 at 11:37 am
Astin – don’t forget to link to her secret sex blog too.
July 7th, 2010 at 11:38 am
I KILL YOU! NO BFF DAY NO BFF DAY!!
July 7th, 2010 at 11:41 am
FINE! I expect my present to be returned to me post-haste!
July 7th, 2010 at 11:42 am
Hahahaha! NEVER!
July 7th, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Hmm, I wonder if it’s too late to stop shipment on my gift — I didn’t know there were so many free options. In fact, this comment could be my gift!
July 7th, 2010 at 4:11 pm
hahah which is why I wait till birthday eve to publish this post! HA! I am an evil genius! Now, I spend the next 364 days wiping memories.
July 7th, 2010 at 5:53 pm
I am going to reblog this post just to spite you. #givememydaybackdammit
July 7th, 2010 at 5:55 pm
ok, ok, ok You have your day back! THE WHOLE DAY!
July 7th, 2010 at 6:06 pm
SWEET!
#deletespost
July 7th, 2010 at 6:15 pm
In unrelated news, I need a birthday tiara for tomorrow. #firstworldproblems
July 7th, 2010 at 7:00 pm
Do you have those Claires places in your Yankee malls? You can get one there.
July 7th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
Dawn would never go to a place that spells its name with an unnecessary I.