Clareified

Exercpt from Vegas Day Three post on I had outs

I was supposed to meet Zidonia and F-train at Paris, for our fancy Asian rice lunch at Ah Sin. I figured I’d just walk down there and play at Paris until it was time for our 2 o’clock lunch.

It was as hot as the chili peppers. I walk by this hopping steakhouse at Paris and I say “hmm.” As this was where I remembered Ah Sin being…but meh, that was YEARS ago.
I walk into the casino and all the signs are in the worst kind of Frenglish.

Jaysus.

“Where’s le poker room,” I ask.
“I’m sorry, we don’t have a poker room.”
Wait. What?
“You can play next door at Bally’s.”
And of course, by “next door,” she means “next door and halfway down the strip in the sweltering heat.”
BAH!
Fine, I’ll just sit at the restaurant till lunch.
“Where’s Ah Sin”?
“Oh, I’m afraid that closed a couple of years ago.”
What the WHAT!?
Oh, Paris, you are full of so much fail.
Vinnay had been mocking me the day before because the last time I was supposed to meet one of my internet friends in Buffalo, she hadn’t shown up and he was all stuck with me for the whole day.
“Her ‘friend’ is not going to come!” He kept warning F-train.
“Shut up! Yes, she is!” I cried, adding “stupidface,” for good measure.
However, as I stood in the Vegas sun, in the meager shadow of the fake Eiffel Tower, tweeting my detriorating condition, I wondered if he wasn’t right.
I couldn’t call Zidonia because two days before she had driven a car over her iphone and NOW the designated restaurant had been closed for two years!
We needed a plan. A plan that involved wine and chips.
Bally’s it would be.

I couldn’t remember if I had played in this room before, but if I had, they definitely moved the poker room. It was actually pretty big and they had a LOT of tables going for Saturday morning.

I was ushered to a table in the back and gave the chip runner my hundred and then I heard it…or *HER* I should say.
“You cawl me to find out.”
No. No. No. This wasn’t possible. IT JUST WASN’T!
I looked around the table. There she was: THE RUSSIAN DEVIL WOMAN!! (Er…”a”)

I just stared at her silently. I couldn’t believe my eyes, my ears. I BELIEVED NOTHING!!

WHY GOD WHY?!

She looked at me and smirked “heyellow again.”

And then I screamed and left a Dawn shaped hole in the Bally’s poker room. No, I didn’t.

She actually got up after about ten minutes and went away. I played poker. I more than doubled up before I stupidly paid off the tilting doofus who called me with bottom pair on the flop, when he check raised me on the river after another 7 hit on the turn. I knew it hit him, too. Damn hell ass KNEW it, but couldn’t fold. Blarrgghh.

I left with about a hundred dollar profit to cover my hundred dollar IP loss.

I went in search of the diamond club and was told that the Bally’s Diamond Club was located in Paris.

“So…Bally’s doesn’t have a Diamond Club then,” I corrected.

I went to the Paris club and while it sucked, it was worlds above the Rio diamond club, which pretty much resembled a church basement rec center.

I got in touch with Zidonia and we pushed lunch back to three and she suggested a restaurant at the Venetian called “Nine.”

“Like the number before ten,” I confirmed.

“Yes,” she said.

I made F-train pick me up from Bally’s. He was pumping Eminem and rocking dark glasses!

HAHAHA “It’s Gangsta Train!”

I don’t know how it came up, but evidently he plans to win the Main Event this year and buy a muscle car and a condo in New York. He is also buying me a roundtrip around the world! He’s so nice when he wants to be.

We got to Venetian and I asked for directions to “Nine.”

“Sorry, we don’t have a place with that name.”

I could hear stupid Vinnay laughing and laughing.

“Do you maybe mean, Zine?”

“Um…ok.”

April and Jason met us at Zine. F-train was telling some story or another and he got the patented Dawn Summers blank stare coupled with violin playing. A FULL SIZE VIOLIN!

“FUCK. YOU.” he replied

“What?” I said all sweetly and doe-eyed, as is my way, “I’m playing the FULL SIZE violin for you! FULL SIZE!”

Jason concurred that this showed much empathy and caring on my part.

We went inside and ordered, since we were on a Liberace musuem deadline.

As further evidence of how kind and caring I am, I brought F-train a belated birthday present.

“Ooh, is it porn?”
“Um… no. The porn store was closed. And out of porn.”
“The porn store is NEVER out of porn,” he quickly counters.
I make a mental note to get new friends.

Speaking of which, Vinnay texts me “did you get stood up again. hahahahaha”
Jerkwad. Seriously, new friends. AND QUICK!

But alas, Zidonia did show up! SO THERE! She is totally real AND hilarious!

After recounting the tale of exactly how one runs over one’s iphone with one’s car…she agreed to drive me to the Liberace museum while the others went with F-train.

She got a text from her Not quite hooked on phonics friend saying that he was her “worst nightmear.” No, really.

“You guys think I make this stuff up!” Now I can vouch. That totally happened.

We’re driving through terrible Vegas traffic and she says “I could get us through this in five minutes, but I don’t want you to die of heart attack and tweet about how my driving killed you.”

Instead, we remained motionless in standstill traffic and checked out the fellow travelers on our road.

“Look at the corny dude in the car behind us. Is it too much to ask that these guys not be wack and that they know how to spell?”

“Geez, Zidonia. Not wack AND spelling skills? Why are you so demanding? This is why black women are in marriage crisis!”

We finally made it to the musuem…but sadly, you know how that went. Zidonia left us to go to a gospel concert…though the nonstop tweeting as she watched TV for the next two hours told a different story…#tellingJesus

This entry was posted by Dawn Summers on Tuesday, July 6th, 2010 at 2:54 pm and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.