Clareified

Where does the good go

June movie roundup

Ironman 2

I was so excited to see this movie in the theater. Like I wanted to be there the day it opened and get a seat right in the center of the theater and then sit there all day and watch it again and again. Why? Well, ahem, look at him:
ironman2002
Are you looking? Isn’t he dreamy. With the wit and the stammering and the cocksure bravado masking his good heart and insecurity? Yeah. Anyway, that didn’t happen. In fact, I didn’t get to see Ironman 2 till yesterday, pretty sure making me one of the last. And I didn’t want to stay and see it again. Or stay and watch anything past the Monte Carlo car race.

The movie just didn’t work for me. Too many shots of stupid Gwen Paltrow and even stupider Scarlett Johnhoweveryouspellhernameson. Plus, I don’t like the Nick Fury crap. I think they should have just focused on the guy from the movie Moon who looks just like Will from Will and Grace and maybe this Soviet felon dude. I also didn’t like the whole government trying to comandeer Ironman stuff…though the Senate hearings were pretty funny. All in all? Meh.

Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior (2003)

My co-worker recommended this flick to me. It was pretty much many different kinds of awesome. If you like martial arts, cool stunts without sappy romance, this is the movie for you. The plot, I suppose, centers on a young man setting out for the big city when his village’s sacred monk head is stolen by a gangster. He falls into an underground fighting ring, where he naturally kicks ass. But it’s mostly about the fighting. And the grifting.

Facing Ali (2009)

I’ve been a huge Ali fan since watching Ali. The movie, not the boxer. I am way too young to have ever seen the boxer. Facing Ali is a documentary which, interestingly, doesn’t feature modern-day Ali, at all. (Maybe because he can no longer really talk or intentionally.) The movie focuses on tracking Ali’s rise and fall through the eyes of his surviving opponents. One dude is still SO angry at Ali — I can’t remember his name, but he sang a song about how Ali can call himself whatever he wants, he’d always be Cassius Clay. Then past Muhammad called him an Uncle Tom. Then he said Ali’s current state is karmic payback and I was all “daayyuuumm, OH SNAP!”
Frankly, with the exception of George Foreman, who found Jesus and a grill in the nick of time, all these men are broken, damaged shells of their former selves. But I guess when you make a living getting punched in the face, life’s not going to be a ball of roses. (Ball of roses? That doesn’t sound right…bed of roses? bunch of roses? How do roses come? –Ed) I highly recommend this movie — even if you’re not a boxing fan.

Invictus (2009)

Raise your hand if you thought this movie was about soccer. Yeah, ME TOO! It’s not. Also, Matt Damon’s accent is about as good as my South African accent and I can’t do a South African accent. Well, I could, but it’d just sound like my Australian accent. Which sounds like my Indian accent and so on. No bueno. The movie is slow too. Lots of talking and walking around. The last half hour is good though, but who the heck knows what’s going on in a rugby match. Much less a dramaticized rugby match. Wait. Are they called matches? I did see this flick right after Facing Ali AND I’m easily confused, so…you know. You’re welcome.

Daybreakers

I thought this movie was going to be SO scary! Basically, vampires have taken over the world and as the last humans are hunted, the vampires struggle to find a new source of blood. They find it, but it turns out to be much more than they’d bargained for. Um. But not in a good way. It’s kind of an “intellectual” “talkie” vampire movie. Lots of science and corporate conspiracy. Who needs that?! Am I right? Let’s get with the biting and the running and the screaming! Honestly, I can’t even remember who stars in this…though I feel like it’s a big marquee name.

Valentine’s Day (2010)

Call me crazy, but I did NOT hate this movie. Matter of fact, I daresay, (looks around, pulls you in real close and whispers…) I liked this movie. I like that the vignettes all actually come together to form a connected universe. The ending packs three surprises into one, although one you kinda see coming a mile away. I’ll admit it’s a tiny bit cheesy, but not vomit inducingly so AND this is Ashton Kutcher’s finest performance. Yes, I know. But still. Taylor Swift does bring shame upon herself and her family though, but she’s not on screen that much. Um…pinky swear.

25 Responses to “June movie roundup”

  1. Angela Says:

    I didn’t think Invictus was about soccer, but I will say that the other night, someone was talking about the World Cup, and I was like, “that’s rugby, right?”

    Damon’s accent in that is classic. It makes me so happy thinking about how bad it was.

    Also, back off of RDJ–he is mine.

    Also also (that is like p.p.s.) Daybreakers was terrible—I turned it off after about 15 minutes. UNWATCHABLE!! (“unwatchable” said in Seinfeld “Undateable!” voice)

  2. Dawn Summers Says:

    hahaah You’re gonna have to fight me and Tae for RDJ! Who was the actor in Daybreakers, do you remember?

  3. tito Says:

    Hmmm… wasn’t it Ethan Hawke in Daybreakers? And maybe some older guy who should have been Gary Busey but wasn’t? That movie could have been way better than it was.

  4. Angela Says:

    Dude, he has been mine for a long time! How long have you guys liked him…if it’s just since his resurgance I win by default. (I have seen Sherlock Holmes like six times already, including twice in the theater…that should count for something too.)

    Ethan Hawk was the main guy in Daybreakers but maybe it’s Sam Neill, the dude from Jurassic Park, that you are thinking of?

  5. Dawn Summers Says:

    HA! I’ve liked him since he did Charlie Chaplin! I struggled with him through like 12 trips to rehab, so THERE!

    @tito YES! It was Ethan Hawke! I agree that movie, in the right hands, coulda been GREAT!

  6. Angela Says:

    Okay fine, we can share him. But I don’t think Tae should be entitled to a piece.

  7. Dawn Summers Says:

    hahahahahaah

  8. pearatty Says:

    So what’s up now with action films having to have multiple super villians? I can’t keep up, and I care less. So much better when you have one super villan and some petty criminals the hero has to fight through (a) in the beginning, just to set up his superheroness; (b) to get to the supervillan.

  9. pearatty Says:

    And I’ve loved RDJ since The Pickup Artist. I win.

  10. pearatty Says:

    I had a friend of a friend once who was hired by a film company to hang out with RDJ and keep him from doing drugs, because RDJ’s girlfriend had broken up with him. So, I’m only three degrees of separation, also. (Except I can’t remember who the friend was who told me that story about his/her friend — I just remember the story.)

  11. Dawn Summers Says:

    You win NOTHING!

  12. Angela Says:

    Hmm, maybe we need to come up with some kind of formula to see who gets him. Like:

    (earliest film of RDJ’s that you loved) x (how many of his films do you love) x (how many times have you watched (each film)) x (how much you cannot freaking wait to see him in “Oz: The Great and Powerful.:) =
    claim to RDJ

  13. pearatty Says:

    I think we need to add in degrees of separation! like:
    (earliest film of RDJ’s that you loved) x (how many of his films do you love) x (how many times have you watched (each film)) x (how much you cannot freaking wait to see him in “Oz: The Great and Powerful.) x (1/degree of separation)

  14. pearatty Says:

    And I’m going to change my favorite earliest film of him to when he played a puppy in “The Pound” when he was 5.

    I may be lying about that.

  15. Angela Says:

    Pearatty, I really think that you guys cannot win no matter what, simply for the extraordinary number of times I’ve watched the film The Wonder Boys. Unless you were his wife, no degree of separation trumps that.

    Though you do get a bonus point for making me laugh with your last comment.

  16. Dawn Summers Says:

    That’s good that you admit it. Cause I was all set with my accusing finger.

  17. pearatty Says:

    I said may.

  18. Petitedov Says:

    I too lay claim to RDJ. I loved him in Chaplin AND have watched Wonder Boys like gazzilion times too. What do I win?
    Have you guys seen Kiss Kiss Bang Bang? It was awesome, classic RDJ.

  19. pearatty Says:

    Kiss Kiss Bang Bang may be my favorite RDJ movie ever.

  20. Dawn Summers Says:

    LOL Robert Downey Jr. Saturdays!

  21. Angela Says:

    It should be RDJ day everyday!!!

  22. pearatty Says:

    Oh, and also, I call “infinity” for (how much you cannot freaking wait to see him in “Oz: The Great and Powerful), so I win.

  23. Dawn Summers Says:

    Infinity times infinity! #suckonthat

  24. pearatty Says:

    Infinty x infinity = infinity. I called infinity first, and there’s nothing more than infinity, and you aren’t allowed to call infinity after it’s already been called and you’re not allowed to call infinity by using what’s just another definition of infinity.

    Please, this is basic math, or do you not learn that in only child school?

  25. Dawn Summers Says:

    O_O What did I tell you about you and your racist white people math?

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