Clareified

Where does the good go

On a jet plane

Somehow, This is Not April always seems to know what’s good for me. Even when most everything else seems to point in another direction. This is why every Monday, she is my best friend forever.
So I’m being all fiscally irresponsible, recklessly spontaneous and a third thing, so this sentence has three parts and flying out West today.
I have some trepidation about the trip, but mostly, I’m glad to be getting away. Getting out of my head, etc. The land of 24 hour entertainment and $1 Shots of Johnny Walker Blue will welcome me with open arms.

I have some more stuff to say, but I don’t want it miscontrued as having to do with something it has nothing to do with or with any particular people, so we’ll save it for another time.

I do want to talk a bit about anger. I remember being angry a lot as a kid, but then not so much as an adult. Frankly, after graduating from college, I think I can count on one hand the number of times I was really and truly angry. (2009 was the last time.) And each time, it caused me to explode and do something really immature and say something silly that I immediately regretted. And each time, I vowed never to get angry again. It’s a pointless emotion, really.

I much more prefer my calm. My analytical. My laughter. My pity. Heck, even my contempt, beats my anger. Those are things I can work with.

Anger, well, anger looks like this.

This woman was banned from tournament Scrabble for a year. I can’t really remember if I ever met her, but my sense is she used to be a tournament director and that her husband is one of the elite players in the game. And well, I hope that not only my own embarrassing screeds, but the image of this screen shot will keep me grounded and away from the angry darkness.

41 Responses to “On a jet plane”

  1. alceste Says:

    Safe trip and good luck! (and enjoy 4 days free of old man tilt)

  2. Drizztdj Says:

    Wow, that was one woman who could use about 15 of those $1 shots. Is Scrabble that intense, putting a wooden block with a letter on it on a board seems much less tilt-inducing then say losing $1,000 on a random river card.

    In any regards… enjoy the trip!!!

  3. April Says:

    Yay for fiscal irresponsibility! Yay for posts about me! 😀

  4. pearatty Says:

    Really, $1 JWB shots?

    Oh, and that lady crazy. Hope she gets some help, in the abstract, but she doesn’t really, in the specific, elicit much sympathy. I call borderline personality disorder.

  5. Dawn Summers Says:

    That’s what everyone on the scrabble group seems to be saying, but then she says they’re all losers. Who are poor. SO what do they know!

  6. pearatty Says:

    And as for this:

    I vowed never to get angry again. It’s a pointless emotion, really.

    Can I suggest that it might be more effective to learn some techniques for *feeling* your anger, but not *acting* on it, or not acting on it in the way that makes you unhappy with yourself later? Cause, pointless or not, we’re all going to feel angry sometimes.

    I would also argue it’s not a pointless emotion; it’s a protective one. It keeps us from being hurt or taken advantage of. It’s only pointless if we ignore it to the point it overwhelms us, rather than acting on it in a constructive way before it gets to that point.

    Example:
    You have a friend who is constantly late.
    Constructive: The second time it happens, the point at which you are irritated (i.e., mildly angry) you say, “hey friend, what’s up with you being late twice in a row? If this is just how you are, I’m going to stop making plans with you where I need to count on you being on time.” Or, you know, you just stop making plans with friend where you need to count on them being on time.
    Destructive: You say nothing the first 20 times it happens. You stew, and talk to your other friends about how obnoxious and selfish this lateness is. The 21st time it happens, you are so angry, you can’t stop yourself from saying “you selfish bitch, do you know how late you’ve made me, now we’ve missed [the event]. I’m so sick of this, and you.”

    Just, you know, a thought.

  7. Dawn Summers Says:

    Ha! Nah, my anger is like blinding blackout rage. There’s no reasoning with it or “channeling it” there’s just a few seconds of “what did he just say to me…WHAT THE FUCK DID HE JUS…OH NO HE DIDN’T *Nothingness*” And then I check my sent mail folder and…D’OH!

  8. pearatty Says:

    It’s funny that she cares so much that a bunch of losers won’t let her play their reindeer games that she’s going to kill herself.

  9. pearatty Says:

    Nah, my anger is like blinding blackout rage.

    I hear they have classes for people like that. :)

  10. pearatty Says:
  11. pearatty Says:

    *ducks head*

  12. Dawn Summers Says:

    It’s funny that she cares so much that a bunch of losers won’t let her play their reindeer games that she’s going to kill herself.

    I KNOW RIGHT? Threatening suicide to people who clearly hate you always seems like such a bad play…it’s like letting them win the lottery without even buying a ticket!! If you hate me, you’re gonna have to PAY to have ME killed! EFF THAT!

  13. pearatty Says:

    Hmm, did you know that when you use the around text in this comments section, the program just deletes it? Interesting.

  14. Dawn Summers Says:

    Wht’s around text? (like this)?

  15. pearatty Says:

    Ah, yes, those carat bracket thingys is what I’m talking about. Weird.

    I imagine you don’t mind, though, since it’s generating multiple comments.

  16. Dawn Summers Says:

    Nope.

  17. Dawn Summers Says:

    Oh so like {this}?

  18. Dawn Summers Says:

    Guess not. Why is Pearatty making stuff up?

  19. pearatty Says:

    The ones that are like the “greater than” and “lesser than” signs in math.

  20. Dawn Summers Says:

    So ?

  21. Dawn Summers Says:

    Ha! Got it. Why on earth would you have even tried that?! #weirdo

  22. pearatty Says:

    Threatening suicide to people who clearly hate you always seems like such a bad play!

    I think one of the charactaristics of borderline personality disorder is an inability to empathize with others. So, in this case, she’s probably like “killing myself would be devestating to me so I assume it will be devestating to everyone else.”

  23. pearatty Says:

    Um, some places I hang out, they use those brackets to indicate action, like: *ducks head*, only with the brackets instead of the stars.

    Nice with the comment whoring, by the way.

  24. Dawn Summers Says:

    How dare you?! I am comment MARRIED!

  25. pearatty Says:

    bwhahahahahaha.

  26. pearatty Says:

    Oh, wait, she believes the scandal will hurt the club. Again, she’s too crazy to see that the headline will not be: “Evil Scrabble Club Drives Genius Player to Suicide”; it will be “Crazy Lady Kills Self Over Scrabble”.

  27. Dawn Summers Says:

    hahahahaha #truestory

  28. Dave Memphis MOJO Says:

    GL and have fun.

  29. Tae Says:

    Is your telling us the blackout excuse a prelude to you killing someone and saying, “See? I even posted on my blog before I killed so-and-so that I black out when I’m really angry. I told them don’t make me angry. They wouldn’t like me when I’m angry!”

    Also, what pearatty said.

  30. Ken Wheaton Says:

    DAWN MAD! DAWN SMASH!!!!!

    And whiskey HELPS your anger issues? Hmmmm. Maybe we should study you for science.

  31. Dawn Summers Says:

    hahahahahaha TAE: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH You’ll RUIN EVERYTHING! RAWR!!!

  32. Pdov Says:

    How dare you?! I am comment MARRIED!

    #pedo #hahaha

    What Pearatty said about anger. Feel it but don’t act on it is a good thing to do. Learning that the hard way. #ihaveangerissues #mostlybecauseiwassonicethelast20+years

  33. dawn Says:

    What the HELL? How is my comment marriage #pedo! All my comments are LEGAL!

    Though that’s an interesting point…my first 20 years I was a very tough, no nonsense person. I mean, I like to think I was fair – not a bully or anything — but I could be cruel if you effed with me. But now, it’s like I’ve conditioned myself to behave differently, but if I slip…I SLIP!

  34. pearatty Says:

    Every comment on this blog is less than 6 years old. #pedo

  35. Ugarles Says:

    I want to know the story behind Ms. Crazypants without reading the rantings on LJ. Why was she suspended?

  36. Dawn Summers Says:

    Something that has been vaguely referred to as “intimidating behavior.”

  37. Ugarles Says:

    How hard do you have to slap a Z on the TLS going both ways for it to be “intimidating”?

  38. Dawn Summers Says:

    Hahah I think it was more in the “trash talking” chasing a player after losing a game to scream at them” vein. Like playing with fish back in the day

  39. Ugarles Says:

    She complained about bad beats in SCRABBLE!? That’s like an eleventy billion dollar fine! She’s lucky she only got a one-year suspension.

  40. Clareified » Blog Archive » Hate is the Star Says:

    […] had a number of really interesting conversations about the issue since I wrote my anti-anger post. The most startling observation I’ve pulled from these talks is that most people conflate […]

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