As you know, my birthday, though in July, has a tendency to last for a while. Sometimes well into August #truestory. However, due to my begrudging respect for the stupid birthday of the Original Assface (TM) and some fears about “jinxing my life,” I’ve never started my birthday early. However, the weather this year got warm so suddenly, that it felt like summer already. And summer means the Dawn Summers birthday season and I just wanted my birthday and I wanted it now now NOW!!!! So I had the most genius idea EVER!! We’d move F-train’s birthday into the same day spot… just in May! Then Tito would have his birthday on Monday and ALL of JUNE would be MIIIINNNEEE!
Operation move F-train’s birthday was an incredible success!! I updated my facebook status letting everyone know it was his birthday, I tweeted the news on…um…twitter. Duh. Keep up! And everyone left him happy birthday messages on his wall and on twitter. I then texted him to let him know that he now had a May birthday and he was to enjoy it.
He thanked me profusely.
So, yesterday, the day after F-train’s birthday, I was playing cards with one of his old buddies from a game back in the 90s — to which I was NOT invited — at Ugarles’ Gentrification Manor, and I texted F-train that this guy said to tell him “hello and Happy Birthday.”
F-train writes back “Can you tell him to punch you in the face for me?”
I tell the guy the whole story about how I moved F-train’s birthday and then I showed him and Ugarles the text from F-train and the guy starts laughing. Ugarles, however, goes: Dude. Why are you laughing? Punch her in the face! You can’t deny F-train a request on his birthday!
“Hey, HEY! His birthday was YESTERDAY! YEEESSSSSSSSSSSTEEEERDAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!”