Clareified

Where does the good go

Me and the Mets

A few months ago, I somehow found myself living at the Harrahs Resort in New Jersey. It wasn’t a bad life so far as lives go. I had a clean bed every night and a warm shower every morning. Plus, and here’s the real awesome part about living in a hotel, everyday they give you rewards points for you to spend on stuff. So, now, on top of the clean bed and warm showers, I could get sandwiches and lattes and candy and chips! I even found this men’s clothing store which sold Patriots stuff! So whenever the evil lady dealer would sit down at my table, I would get up and go shopping with my rewards dollars. If it said Patriots on it, I now own two of it.
And then one day, some eight weeks ago, I saw something completely and totally awesome: A Mets starter jacket complete with patches from both World Series wins AND all our penants. It was a little bit garish BUT, and this was the BEST part, it reversed into a simple Blue jacket with orange trim and “Mets” across the front in white curvy letters! It was like TWO Mets jackets! GIMMEE.
Sadly, I had been burning through my rewards points like…well, like they were free money in a hotel! So I only had like 70 rewards points. The jacket was $125 American dollars.
Aw man.
I tried to haggle with the store owner, with whom I was PRACTICALLY on a first name basis:
“Look, Habib. People down here are Phillies fans. And most visitors down here are gonna be Yankees fans…or women who are here to buy their husbands ties and fancy shirts and whatnot. I am the ONLY person who will EVER buy one of those jackets from you and you have THREE of them! Come on!”
Habib was not impressed.
“Well, you can use your points and then pay for the rest with cash.”
I nearly choked on the free candy I was eating. Does he NOT understand the hotel economic system? I use cash to play POKER at the casino. The casino gives me reward points to buy jackets in stores!
Hmph.
I walked away.
Every week I went back and looked at the three jackets hanging on the wall and tried my argument on whoever was manning the register. I would get that jacket and I would NOT be using cash! Bastards.
Then, one day, I’m walking back to my room and I stop dead in my tracks.
Where there once were three jackets, NOW there were TWO!
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. I paced up and down. This wasn’t happening!
Ok, fine. There were still two jackets left, I just had to earn rewards points…um…faster!
I played and played and played. I was almost there when I went home to Brooklyn last week. I figured I’d buy the jacket the next time I went down to Jersey.
Then Tuesday night the Mets took over first place in the NL East. I did a little dance and decided to go to the Wednesday afternoon game at Citifield. I looked up ticket prices and with the service charges and delivery fees (FOR AN EMAIL) I was all “the game’s better on TV anyways. Hmph. Stupid grapes.”
Anyway, I woke up wicked early on Wednesday and decided that was a sign! I would just go to the ballpark and get tickets there!
I tried to GPS directions and Olga informed me that no such destination existed. So, I called Citifield and after twenty minutes of holding, the nice man informed me that I should just use Olga’s directions to Shea. “It’s right next door.”
Awesome.
I still felt uneasy. But as I neared the destination, I found myself in the middle of a veritable caravan of Mets fans! Choo choo! (Wait, is that the sound a caravan makes?) I pulled into the parking lot (paying twenty bucks for game I did not yet have tickets to.) The parking lot attendant pretty much offered to park my car for me rather than watch me pull in and out time and again trying not to hit the cars next to me.
“Sorry, it’s a new car…I’m not used to it yet.”
He rolled his eyes at me.
Jerkwad.
But as I walked to the stadium, I forgot all about him!
Shea! Or whatever we call Shea 2.0!
I just had to get tickets! Haaaaaaad to!
I waited on line and crossed my fingers. When I got to the window I sheepishly asked for something in the $25-40 range. The lady surprisingly found me a seat for exactly $40! Imagine that!
After being subjected to a pretty thorough physical patdown, I went inside. First stop: Hall of Fame musuem.
They have our World Series trophies inside and as I waited behind this Asian dad and his two kids, I overheard the girl say “It’s like the one they gave the Yankees last year, remember daddy?”
“Yes, honey. But we’re at the Mets stadium, so we don’t talk about the Yankees here…okay?”
I suppressed the urge to say “damn straight”!
The place was crowded with kids, none of whom, so far as I could tell, wanted to be there!
Spoiled brats! I didn’t get to go to my first major league game till I was 23 AND I had to go to a Yankees game! (Where I not only booed them, but cheered when they lost! Yup, I’m charming.)
One girl was clapping gum and sighing “Mr. Friedman. Is this it or do we have to watch the game too?”
The answer disappointed her.
I took some geek pictures of me and a bust of Mookie Wilson and decided I was gonna buy a new Mets ballcap.
“THIRTY DOLLARS??” I said in my best middle aged dad from an eighties TV sitcom voice.
“Do you take total rewards points, by any chance?”
I settled on getting a keychain.
It was an extremely windy day. I had on a turtleneck, my David Wright jersey and a jacket, but I was still cold. I ran back to my car to grab a sweatshirt out of my overnight bag.
Uh oh.
The only sweatshirt I had was one of the many items I had bought with rewards dollars…and it didn’t say Mets…
I went back to the stadium and took my seat.
Again, I was mostly surrounded by kids. In front were a mom, her dad and her two toddlers. They were both bundled up from apple cheeks to toe in Mets gear. SOO CUTETASTIC!
Next to me was a mom and her three kids: two like 8-9 year old boys and their 5-6 year old sister. I laughed as she tried to teach them to cheer for the Mets without being totally nasty to the Dodgers.
“No, sweetie, he’s not a bad man, but we just want him to lose.”
Followed by exchanges like:
“Is he okay?”
“Yes, he’s a Met.”
“Let’s go Ike!”
L.O.L
The Mets jumped out to an uncharacteristic early lead. I was freezing my face and hands off!
With a comfortable 4-1 lead, I went off to get me some Shake Shack.
I don’t know why I assumed this would be indoors. It wasn’t. I don’t know why I thought I’d just walk in and get a burger. I didn’t.
Instead I freezed some more on a line and then watched Maine give up like 18 hits in a row, walk 45 batters And the Dodgers score eleven fifty runs! Arrghh! MAINE!! I leave you for 25 minutes and you panick???
I grabbed my food and ran back to my seat. Can I tell you that my burger and my milkshake were the same temperature? SAME!
(Why’d you get a milkshake if you were so cold, Dawn? Shut up, Question McAskalot. Mind yer business.)
I couldn’t take the cold anymore.
I turned my sweatshirt insideout and put it on.
The Mets got back on track and by the 8th, we had a commanding lead.
A dude in the front row, after doing his “we just scored a run” dance, turned around to look at me.
“Is that a Patriots sweatshirt”?
“Er…yes! I’ve been watching the Story of Us! I want to show my support for the rebels! I hate the British sooo much!”
He laughed.
Whew. Though with a frozen face and frozen fists, I woulda fared pretty well in a fight.
People began to file out, but I stayed and watched KRod wheeze out the final out in the ninth before I got up.
Surprisingly, I did not crack in half.
I made it back to my car and headed to Atlantic City. I was gonna get my schmancy Mets jacket right now!
I speeded to the hotel. I ran straight to the store and Wham!
THEY WERE ALL GONE!
I fell to the floor, shook my fist at the sky and yelled “Kkkkhhhhaaaannnnnnnn!”
And then I looked for a puppy to kick.

16 Responses to “Me and the Mets”

  1. Pdov Says:

    Will they re-stock/order more. You should ask the guy you are so friendly with.
    Nice cover for the Patriots shirt. It made me laugh the first time I read on twitter and again now! #yaybrady

  2. Dawn Summers Says:

    I was crying too hard to ask.

  3. Astin Says:

    Poor puppy.

    See, here in Toronto, we have a nice warm indoor stadium for baseball. Too bad we don’t have any fans… or a team.

  4. Dawn Summers Says:

    Hahahah yeah, I wouldn’t trade my outdoor stadium for no team. That would be a bad trade!

  5. JSForman Says:

    Great recap of a wonderful event. Thank you.

  6. Dawn Summers Says:

    No problem! You’re welcome. Thanks for commenting!

  7. April Says:

    See in Texas, we have to air condition our baseball. I was reading your tweets from the game and could not for the life of me figure out where in the hell you WERE. For God’s sake, it’s 2 days till MAY. Where is it still cold? And WHY? I demand you move away from there immediately.

  8. Dawn Summers Says:

    LOL! I plan to stick it out for one more month, if I am still freezing my ass off, I’m moving in with Astin, where at least I’ll eat well.

  9. Gib Says:

    If you’re moving – Atlanta has the most fair-weather sports fans anywhere in the country. So I’m sure there’s a bunch of Patriots fans around here somewhere to hang out with.

    (Or were a bunch of Patriots fans. Honestly, they probably all became Falcons fans again when they figured out this Matt Ryan kid wasn’t half bad.)

  10. Pearatty Says:

    The guy who owns the store hasn’t sold those jackets, he just has someone from the hotel lrt him knoe when you’re staying there, and then he moves them to the back room. First, he moved one back, to make you nervous. When that didn’t work, he moved all three back. Next time you go in, he’ll know he’s got you. He’ll have put one or two back out, claiming he “reordered”, but the’ll be twice the price as before, because “the wholesaler raised the price”.

    :)

  11. Dawn Summers Says:

    Not cool you. Not cool! (Though I’d so pay it! I have enough rewards money now!)

  12. Alceste Says:

    Dawn, are there times when you wish that you’d never figured out how the comp points work?

  13. Dawn Summers Says:

    Dude. Dude. You have NO idea.

  14. April Says:

    You are so not moving in with Astin!! I call dibs. Or something.

    I will lure you out with comps and shiny satin jackets.

  15. Dawn Summers Says:

    We can both totally move in with Astin! (Will need someone to throw in front of the face eating cats…)

  16. Home Says:

    We are supply the biggest assortment of custom lanyards in Australia.

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