Clareified

Where does the good go

Happy baby shower, Brady Zac

Alas, that you are inconveniently located in Arizona, means that I couldn’t make it in person. Doubly worrisome because it appears that your hippie Aunt Smokey has been calling you Cletus the Fetus and that just will not stand! Arizona’s most famous and influential citizen will not be saddled with the name Cletus!! Despite the fact that it rhymes and who doesn’t like a good rhyme…huh…what? I lost my train of thought.
Oh, right… Brady Zac!
I hope you’re well and growing stronger each day. I understand you’re not technically due until February, but personally, I think it’ll fun and awesome if you were born on Martin Luther King day. You’ll get why this is so funny when I tell you the story about the only state in the union that turned down a day off because it was for a black man! (Ha ha, even funnier, the look on your mom’s face as I tell said story and the indignant tone in which she will protest Arizona’s racist reputation! So excited to meet you!) Also, if you are born on Martin Luther King day, that’ll mean no more rhyming with Cletus just that sooner! Cletus. Sheesh. Has a Cletus ever lead an NFL franchise to the Lombardi trophy? NO! Anyhoo. Hi, Brady Zac! Enthusiastic wave!
Oh yeah, Brady Zac’s carrier human, pearatty, has thoughtfully requested that in lieu of gifts, donations be made to a charity to help other pregnant persons and their cletus fetuses. (Not that Brady Zac is a Cletus in any way!)

So, if you were looking for someplace to give money to before the end of the year, I hope you’ll consider this very worthy cause. Here’s a bit more from the mama to be herself:

As people keep asking me what I want for my birthday and Christmas, I have come to realize that I don’t really need anything. I have such a great family, wonderful friends, a good job, a nice house, etc. I know you’ll all be there when I do need something, so why use up your goodwill now?

In the meantime, if you really want to spend money on me this season, how about a donation here: http://www.fistulafoundation.org/. If you don’t know what fistula is, it’s a gross but easily surgically remedied condition caused by childbirth complications. Women in very poor areas who can’t afford the surgery are often cast out by their families and made pariahs. They could use your money a lot more than I can.

Here’s a little rundown of the charity itelf.

20 Responses to “Happy baby shower, Brady Zac”

  1. Brady Zac Says:

    Aw, shucks, that’s sweet. But seriously folks, I don’t know nothing about fistula. If you want to give me a gift, I would like cocoa puffs, please. They’re my favorite. Don’t need much else, really.

  2. Aunt Smokey Says:

    The name Cletus has a long and venerable reputation. Just look at The Simpsons! But in all seriousness, Uncle Smokey and I have named the little tyke Joaquin. Brady Zac just can’t compete.

  3. Dawn Summers Says:

    I will fight you! We are NOT naming a baby born in *Phoenix* Joaquin! “Joaquin from Phoenix” Really? REALLY?!
    Besides Brady Zac is so knocking Joaquin’s books in the mud. Well, he wouldn’t cause he’s a good boy, but he *could.*

  4. Uncle Smokey Says:

    I don’t know if you want to start a fight, two against one. Aunt Smokey assures me that “it” is “on.” Joaquin is in no way afraid of Brady Zac, who, after all, is very timid without his Brady “Bunch” to back him up.

    And yes. Really.

  5. Dawn Summers Says:

    Oh, it is in fact “on”. However, it is in no way 2 against 1. As you can plainly see, the very first comment is from Brady Zac himself! He knows what’s up! If his name were Joaquin the unclean he wouldn’t even be able to suck his thumb yet, much less be able to surf the internet and type!
    Guantlet? Thrown!

  6. Aunt Smokey Says:

    I’m not sure that we should be touting the poster on your blog… it smacks of an impostor. I mean, this “baby” is asking for Cocoa Puffs, and everyone knows that the preferred cereal of babes is Cheerios! It sounds more like some adult who is about to commit mail fraud.

    Ooo. I do think, though, that his Hippy Aunt should teach him to surf. That would be cool! Note to self: get surfing lessons.

  7. Dawn Summers Says:

    Hahaha Can you teach me too!

  8. Brady Zac Says:

    “everyone knows that the preferred cereal of babes is Cheerios”

    Ok, first of all, nothing a baby likes more than to be stereotyped and lumped in with all other babies, as if we aren’t each unique persons with unique tastes. Agist.

    Second of all, babies’ preferred cereal is NOT Cheerios, that’s just the best we can get some of our caretakers to give us. If y’all would just LISTEN, you would know that Cocoa Puffs are very popular among the baby crowd.

  9. Pearatty Says:

    Ooh, I’d like to learn to surf too!

  10. Aunt Smokey Says:

    Done and done! :-) The surfing world better prepare: here come the three Pearatty Sisters!

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    :-P And, if youu are writing on additional social sites, I’d like to follow everything fresh you have tto post.
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