Quote of the week
The next person who offers me pity or charity will be mentioned BY NAME in my suicide note. -Jeff on NBC’s “Community”
The next person who offers me pity or charity will be mentioned BY NAME in my suicide note. -Jeff on NBC’s “Community”
December 18th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Okay so now that over on twitter I declared that Friday shall once again be inane comments day, here I am panicking for a new topic. Last week we started out so strong with the apocalypse that I’m feeling pressure coming up with another good one.
Thoughts? I bet Pearatty can come up with a good one.
December 18th, 2009 at 10:38 am
Hey am I just waste of space here!? I mean Pearatty is all creative/smart and shit. But I ain’t no sack of potatoes. Just because I didn’t see you get dibs on Cali last Friday doesn’t mean I’m excommunicated! Plus as an Arizona resident Pearatty is probably still asleep. And as a poker played so is Dawn. #truestory
December 18th, 2009 at 10:40 am
Good point pdov. I just thought of Pearatty because she was very helpful suggesting motorcycles to avoid zombies last week and then again earlier this week explaining depressing poetry to me.
What have you done for me (in the comments section of Clareified.com) lately?
December 18th, 2009 at 11:21 am
C’mon people, I know it’s early on a Friday around the holiday season when a lot of people aren’t at work, but still. Inane comments Friday should be a catch on. Let’s do this thing.
And just think, right now Dawn is probably sleeping off her poker hangover in AC so right now we have free reign.
December 18th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Oops “should be a catch on.” Somebody needs to proof read their comments before posting. But hey, it gives me an excuse to post yet another useless comment!
December 18th, 2009 at 11:45 am
Wait. What’s the difference between:
should be a catch on
and
should be a catch on
?
December 18th, 2009 at 11:47 am
I was quoting my mistake. But good lookin’ out.
December 18th, 2009 at 11:47 am
And I really can’t believe more people aren’t interested in hijacking Dawn’s comment section.
Do I have to do everything myself? Geez.
December 18th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Ohhhhh – I get it. Honestly, I thought “should be a catch on” was perfectly fine.
December 18th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Okay, okay, I’ll help! How about we talk about what Dawn is dreaming about? My guess Zac Efron hanging out with Tom Brady. That’s all I say.
December 18th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
I bet Dawn dreams about Tom Brady humping Zac Efron.
And Tae, I actually kind of like that, using “catch on” as a noun. If Dawn can do things like use “cheerleader” as an adjective in substitution for a different questionably tasteless adjective, we can totally use “catch on” as a noun. That’s going to be a total catch on.
December 18th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
What bothers me is that I’m supposed to be in AC tomorrow. Now there’s a winter storm warning and I’m not sure I’m going down at all It’s entirely her fault, since she *knows* we’re not allowed to be in the same place at the same time. If she wasn’t there there would be no snow storm. Darn you, Dawn Summers!
Now, about that Zac Efron. Maybe we could work on finding her another husband who isn’t jail bait?
December 18th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Angela. That comment? About the humping? I think I’ve gone blind. Or at least I hope I have. Holy wow.
December 18th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
haha, sorry Tae. For about three seconds I thought about deleting it before publishing.
And yeah, it’s totally Dawn Summers’s fault that your weekend AC trip is going to be ruined by snow. Recently she was down there, there were crazy rain storms. Now there’s going to be a blizzard. She’s definitely got some sort of evil powers.
December 18th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
And now we are back on familiar tropes! Dawn Summers is evil. I’m mean the woman will put your name on a suicide note if try to be sweet. Evil.
December 18th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Also I have to say, Angela you are master of “doing things yourself” way more motivated than any other person I know. Why do you think I hang out with you lady!
December 18th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
True, pdov. That’s why I’m the leader of our pack.
I wonder if we can get Dawn Summers to shred with us.
December 18th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Hahahahaha ok i am in line laughing hysterical at my blackberry. People are staring. If this situation wasnt already a catch on with me, i might be ashamed.
December 18th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Tae, LOL!! That was my plan! I had to get a jump on harrahs cuz i knew if i let you get here first, armed twin goons would come hold me hostage in my room till Monday. And i wanted to play.
December 18th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Inane comments Friday: definitely a catch on!
I’m counting potential topic threads:
What Dawn Dreams about
Dawn is Evil
Tae and Dawn can’t be in the same place at the same time
Tom Brady humping Zac Efron
Finding Dawn a husband above the age of majority
December 18th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
What if Dawn actually dreams about Zac Efron humping Tom Brady? That’s really a weirder picture.
December 18th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Glad to assist in making you look like a crazy person in public. But really, how much help do you actually need? Though compared to all those other crazies in AC on a wintery Friday a.m., you are no doubt the sanest in the bunch. And probably the only one not wearing a matching sweat suit.
December 18th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Sorry Pearatty, as I said to Tae, I thought about not posting that, but I couldn’t resist. Sorry for the imagery.
And be thankful that I’m restraining myself from posting the follow up I just thought of. It’s my holiday gift to you and Tae.
December 18th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
At least there will be a record of why a giant black hole opened over Atlantic City if I make it there tomorrow. If I don’t make it there, you totally owe me the room fee I’m going to lose.
Pearatty – that is a strange picture. Would Tom Brady even feel anything?
December 18th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
OK, that’s the second time this week I’ve heard bad things about wearing a matching sweat suit. Does that mean I can no longer wear my black exercise pants with the white stripes and my All-Blacks fleece (that is black with white stripes) together? Or does this only count for those velour suits old people wear.
December 18th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Hahaha Tae, I have been reading silently hoping i can feel good because the sweatsuit I have on *right now* does NOT match! Well, maybe it does powder pink and navy? Does that go?
December 18th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
I think they actually have to come together as a set for it to be horrifying. Tae, your get up sound ok, so long as they didn’t come together attached by a tag that says “2 pc. set.”
December 18th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Dawn–powder pink and navy, not so much. But that’s definitely not a set so you get by on a technicality.
December 18th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Hm. Navy and powder pink. Sounds kinda Brady. Bunch, not Tom.
December 18th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Whew.
December 18th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
“Would Tom Brady even feel anything?”
Hahahahahahaa. Totally blew my “I’m working hard here” cover.
December 18th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Not that I personally have anything against sweatsuits in general, but why does it make a difference for it to be a 2 piece set, rather than separates? Aren’t all sweatsuits by definition not, er, fashionable? Is the problem with a set that it attempts to escape that inescapable fact by pretending it is more than a sweatsuit? Sort of the poseur of the low-rent clothing?
So, non-matching sweats says: “yes, I’m wearing sweats, what of it? I’ll mess you up you say anything.”
And matching sweats says: “no, this isn’t *sweats*, this is an *outfit*”
Yes, I think that must be it.
December 18th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
This fashion comment coming from a woman who has worn nothing at home for the last three months other than her husband’s underwear and sweatpants, and a large flannel shirt of unknown origin.
December 18th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
That’s hawt.
December 18th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Yes, Pearatty, that’s the difference. While I don’t exactly condone draping one’s entire body is sweatsuit material, if you’re actually trying to look good with it, you by the nature of the thing, fail. But if you’re all like, “eff you, I’m gonna be comfy and be able to eat that extra sandwich” that’s a non-punishable fashion offense.
December 18th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Ok, since I am now sufficiently confident that Alceste will never read this, but I HAVE to tell…um…you guys cause it’s funny: Here goes.
So yesterday I decided to go to AC. Alceste was gonna go Friday/Saturday, but I had to beat Tae there, so I left early. I emailed him to ask him to add my name to his reservation so I could checkin early this morning for the weekend. He did. When I got to the front desk, I requested the tower closest to the poker room even though they are old rooms, but when I got up to the room, it was ashambles. I called the front desk. They apologized and upgraded me to a fancy suite with a plasma TV and two bathrooms.
The place was nice but is literally as far from the poker room as can be. And with my back issues, I wasn’t happy. It was a downgrade upgrade. So this morning I’m checking out AND checking in (No, you have a poker problem; you have a poker problem!) And the guy is all, do you wanna stay in the same room? And I’m like “NO! Other tower” so I get the room In the old tower close to the poker room. I email Alceste to tell him the room number and he was all “aw man, I wanted the suite with the plasma TV!” Women? The rake! LOL.
Nobody tell!
December 18th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Two bathrooms.
One for #1 and one for #2?
December 18th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
I love that Dawn just did a secret blog post in her comments section.
December 18th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Hahaha more like one for bubble bathing and one for showering. But idiots didn’t even provide any bubbles! #luxuryfail
December 18th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
We are priveleged.
December 18th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
That’s what so great about inane comments Friday: from the outside, a reader would say, “how in the world could a whiny post about pity generate 40 comments”? Little do they know, the action really starts about 15 comments in. It’s stealth blogging at its best.
December 18th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
What’s also great about inane comments Friday is that I sit here at my desk laughing like a crazy person.
Almost as hard as I laughed at this: http://fierceandnerdy.com/?p=12255
Seriously, that’s for real. I saw the pap smear one with my own eyes Tuesday night during NCIS. I was horrified/delighted by it. I was laughing hysterically at the television screen, although also somewhat horrified for humanity.
December 18th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Hahah Yes! Inane comments Friday are like the Bonus DVD features for Clareified! LOL
December 18th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Ohmygod Angela – I saw one of these PSA’s too!!! I was going to call my husband so I could tell him about it, but I wasn’t sure he would believe me. And because it was so fast, I wasn’t entirely sure it was real!
December 18th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
I saw it while watching tv, but like an hour later my bf came over and I couldn’t even get the words out to tell him about it for like five minutes. It was a combonation of being embarassed to even repeat what I had seen, plus trying to stifle the uncontrollable laughter. Of course as soon as I did tell him he pretended to make a call to the gyno to set up an appointment.
December 18th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Ha!
I had the same reaction when I saw one of those K-Y commercials during prime time. A little bit of shock, a whole lotta laughter.
December 18th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
Dawn’s dream team:
http://www.loona.net/pics/dawnsdreamteam.jpg
December 18th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Now put me in it! Put me in it!
December 18th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Kids — let this be a lesson to never trust Dawn Summers with a reservation (particularly since the tourney is not going to be anywhere close to the poker room…)
December 18th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Whoops. Thwarted!
December 18th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Ask and you shall receive:
http://www.loona.net/pics/dawnsdreamteam2.jpg
December 18th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
I don’t know why you don’t just call for a wheelchair to get you to the poker room, or rent one of the hotel scooter thingies.
December 18th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
I may just have to ask F-Train how he does the stack you with his mind trick
And Mary — I think the link is missing Dawn…
December 18th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
I can’t believe I swam through all 50 comments in this thread. I feel a little bit cheated now. And Dawn is definitely evil. And an assface.
December 18th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
She’s in the second one.
December 18th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Mary: second photo is identical to first when I click on it.
You know, perhaps I should just embrace the title of new assface and seek out Dawn to stack at the tables rather than just trying to do it in my head…
December 18th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Onafolddraw is here. You could just stake him to follow me around with the 78off.
December 18th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
I love the fact that in the second one, Dawn is about 4 miles away from BradyZac and looking like a stalker. It’s perfect!
December 18th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
haha — now I see the stalker — totally missed Dawn in the background
December 18th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Hah! That’s great, Mary!
Hey…who let boys in here?
December 18th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
I tried to first put her on the balcony of the building in the background but she was way too tiny. Then I thought of putting her in Zac’s breast pocket but that didn’t work out to well.
December 18th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Awesome picture. Dawn, you can tell because you’re standing behind them: is Tom grabbing Zac’s ass? Because it looks like he is.
December 18th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
That photo of Dawn, Zac, and Brady is amazing. I’m laughing as I am typing this. Thanks Mary!
Angela – those PSA announcements are horrible! I always watch NCIS on demand so I miss the horribleness of this! Truelly gross! “Kosher prostate” ewwww. Also why do these people urge the S.O. to do this, I schedule my own doctor visits, I’m not his mom and his not my kid! Eeeeeewwwwww.
December 18th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
No. Seriously. Can’t. Look. At. Photo. Laughing. Hysterically.
December 18th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Oh, if Tom was grabbing Zac’s ass, you would be able to tell.
December 18th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
He’s not? I thought that’s why Zac looked so satisfied.
December 18th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
I know Fisch is just lurking around so he can comment two comments from now. Perv.
December 18th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
I’ll make it easier for Fisch, wait is Dawn calling Zac gay?
December 18th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
ZAC IS NOT GAY! #notthattheresanythingwrongwiththat
December 18th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Also, take that Fisch.
December 18th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Comment 71. Just to get back to Inane Comments Friday…
December 18th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Thank you!
December 19th, 2009 at 1:49 am
Key facts omitted by Dawn (as I finally arrive in the dump):
– I actually had booked the nicer room — the change was an affirmative downgrade and not simply maintaining an upgrade.
– The only reason Dawn needs to be close to the poker room is so she can continue to earn comps while not playing by going down to the poker room every hour for a hand or two before they bag her chips.
December 19th, 2009 at 2:36 am
LOL. Dude, the suites are only marginally nicer, but I am willing to say I saw a mouse, so they’ll switch us tomorrow.
December 19th, 2009 at 3:23 am
of course there is grabbing – don’t you see dawn’s smile?
December 19th, 2009 at 11:34 am
No need on the mouse – if you could use your powers to open the cafe for breakfast on the other hand…
December 19th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
There is NO grabbing! Dawn is smiling because she is hiding in the bushes by Tom’s house and Zac showed up for a visit!
December 20th, 2009 at 2:11 am
I can’t do anything on demand. I’ve spent way too many years perfecting disappointing people.
I have nothing perverted to say. Some men like to suck c*ck. Nothing wrong with that.
December 20th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
Um…is this where I’m supposed to say “no, you don’t disappoint people! Stop it! Crazy talk”? Cause…um…well…hey, did I mention that you were tall! And rich! Don’t forget rich! And way tall! #lyingisasin