Ever since I started drinking coffee, I have realized that there are many many many variations to a cup of joe. And me, being me, of those many many many variations there is only ONE that doesn’t make me gag and throw away four dollars in a cup. During the course of the year, I have learned to clearly articulate “Medium skim latte, two pumps of vanilla.”
This would often draw the following question: Sugar?
Dude, I told you exactly how many squirts of vanilla syrup I want, do you think I forgot to mention sugar?
Once a dude brought me that shit in a clear cup filled with ice.
WTF? Did I SAY ICE???
Not gonna lie, it drove me nutz. So NOW I say, VERBATIM,:
Medium skim latte, two pumps of vanilla. Extra hot, NO sugar.
Just like that. EVERY TIME.
And today I get:
“Do you mean caramel?”
Are you KIDDING ME?
Seriously, if I could have jumped across the counter and bashed her head in without going to jail, I would have. And you just KNOW the media would paint ME as the crazy one!
Damn racist media out to get me and Tiger.