I am on all these e-mail list-servs (don’t ask) and there regularly appear these emails which read, in relevant part, “a dear friend needs a sublet in Seattle” or “a dear friend is looking for an internship,” or “a dear friend’s SamTimer clock fell into the pool.”
The construct of the phrase “Dear friend,” always strikes me as odd…like one of those conventions we use to be polite like “God bless her/him.” Dear friend suggests a frumpy, borderline retarded social misfit who likely picks his or her nose and may or may not consume the findings from said excavation.
Do other people think this? Or is this dear friend thing perfectly normal and everyone has dear friends?
Cause if it is normal, then I have dear friends too. Lots of them. And they’re real and everyone can see them.
Stay away from me with your needles and white coats with extremely long sleeves.
You’ll never take me alive!
-Your dear friend Dawn.