I like the Bloggess. I think she’s funny. To be fair, I think she’s funny because her writing style is very much like mine. Long streams of consciousness. Some would insert the word nonsensical in that sentence. Not me though. I would insert genius. But that’s just me. And it used to be a lot of people. Until they started getting my awesome delivered to their twitter mailboxes, now it’s suddenly less awesome. And nonsensical is used a lot more. But I’m not bitter or talking about that. Fuck them. Hmmm…I can’t quite figure out how to translate that into Obama. And Kearns is unavailable. Maybe I will email the President directly. Oh, dammit, what was I saying…awesome…streams…oh, right! The Bloggess:
You know what would suck? If you taped a brick of cocaine into the inside of the toilet tank in your hotel so that the maids wouldn’t find it but then you forgot it when you checked out and remembered it when you got back home and now you can’t even call and ask them to send it to you because it’s fucking cocaine. I bet that happens all the time. That’s why I always check the inside of my hotel room toilet tanks for left-over cocaine from the last people who stayed there. I never find any. Those people must have better memories than me. Not that I forget my cocaine in hotels. I usually just forget my laptop charger. I only check the toilets because I don’t want to get busted for having someone else’s forgotten toilet coke in my room, not because I’m personally seeking out toilet cocaine. I don’t even do cocaine. Ever. Except one time I did it accidentally in college and it gave me a horrible migraine and I threw up a lot. In all seriousness, that shit sucks. Avoid.