Clareified

Where does the good go

Audience Participation Tuesday

Are the things yelled in anger the truth or distortions designed to hurt?

I tend to be silent when I’m angry, mostly for fear of saying the things I could never take back because they would ring so damningly true. And it’s the things said to me in anger that I’ll hold onto the longest. I mean, I tend to remember most things said to me, but shit said to me in anger? That I try to forget so hard, it ends up burned into my head verbatim.

Yup, good morning rainy day in New York! You’re just going to be awesome today, I can feel it!

:/

14 Responses to “Audience Participation Tuesday”

  1. Angela Says:

    Depends on the situation, but either way, you gotta let that stuff go. It’s poisonous.

  2. elana Says:

    I’m the same way – you can compliment me endlessly and I’ll totally blow it off but the slights? Whew… I remember those forever. It’s a terrible quality in myself.

  3. Pearatty Says:

    I would guess it’s some of both. An angry person says things that are probably true in some sense or other, but they’re also going to be taken out of context, and twisted to be hurtful.

    Isn’t that how Satan’s supposed to work?

  4. Pearatty Says:

    But seriously, think of it the way a journalist crafts a story — you cover one event, and there are a hundred different facts you could include in your story, all of them true. The journalist chooses which facts to include, and which to leave out, depending on what kind of story s/he’s trying to tell. So the same event can have the title: “Community Businesses Benefit From New Access Road”, or “Graft May Be A Factor In New Access Road”.

    Any relationship has thousands of facets, some good, some bad. Which facets one decides to focus on is really up to the people in the relationship.

  5. Dawn Summers Says:

    But what if it’s not poison, but it just hurts cause it’s true and well, sucks?

    Stupid Satan and his evil genuis ways.

  6. Pearatty Says:

    Well, I guess to the extent it’s true, then you decide to make it something to work on? Doesn’t mean the angry person couldn’t have found a more constructive way to say whatever it was, and it doesn’t mean that whatever that true thing is is the most important thing about you, but it never hurts to identify stuff you could change about yourself.

    That said, if the angry person mentioned a pretty much immutable characteristic, then they’re just an asshole: i.e., “yeah, well you have a big nose!” or “your voice is really annoying” can never really be constructive criticisism.

  7. Jake Says:

    A great memory can be a curse.

    I, on the other hand, forget everything that people tell me so i am in a constant state of bliss.

  8. Dawn Summers Says:

    Hahhaha Jake, also having 12% body fat keeps you in a state of bliss!

  9. Eric Says:

    If the things people are saying in anger hurt because they’re true, why is it these things are only being said in anger?

  10. Dawn Summers Says:

    Because being honest is the cruelest thing you can do to another person. Well, being homest or skinning them alive with an apple peeler. That super sucks!

  11. Kajagugu Says:

    Guys say what they mean. Women calculate what they say even in anger. But they remember everything the guys said and then use it later in life to torment them forever.

  12. Dawn Summers Says:

    But if the guys meant it, then isnt it good that the women remember?

  13. Jake Says:

    “Because being honest is the cruelest thing you can do to another person. ”

    You mean I should not say anymore that you are great and fun to be with.

  14. Dawn Summers Says:

    hahahaah no, no Jake you should definitely keep saying that. It’ll toughen me up.

Leave a Reply